


Awkward Attention

by Bramadian0336



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Awkward Kylo Ren, Awkward Romance, Awkward Sexual Situations, Drabble, Drabble and a Half, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Idiots in Love, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Mild Kink, Minor Violence, Not Canon Compliant, Shy Kylo Ren, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Smut, Soft Kylo Ren, Stupidity, Tropes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:21:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 70,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24431263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bramadian0336/pseuds/Bramadian0336
Summary: Anika never could keep her mouth shut for her own good. When she’s assigned to mentor Matt, a new trainee, she can’t seem to stop talking. Matt doesn’t mind, even when the topic turns to their Commander, Kylo Ren. But things take an anxiety-ridden twist when their conversations manage to catch the Commander’s attention.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader, Matt the Radar Technician/Original Female Character(s), Matt the Radar Technician/Reader
Comments: 166
Kudos: 437





	1. Ch. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Weird drabble, no guarantees on quantity/quality.

Anika examines Matt out of the corner of her eye as he works, hoping he is too distracted to notice her scrutiny. She is wondering just what it is about him that she finds attractive. He isn’t unattractive by any means, but his features aren’t exactly classically handsome. Still, she finds something about the way he sets his full lips into a frustrated pout cute, even as it meant he had failed, yet again, at their task. _Shocking._

“Here, watch me,” she offers. She’s relieved when he complies, pulling his hands from the control board and letting her take over. She moves slower than she normally would, letting him follow her motions. He’s a fast learner, despite his stunning lack of experience with repairs. She usually only has to show him things once.

While she works, she hazards a guess his way. “They didn’t really teach you how to do any of this in training, did they?”

Anika doesn’t miss the guarded way he looks at her before answering. “No. I wasn’t trained to do this job.”

She makes a noise of sympathy. “What, is this a reassignment?”

“Yes. A reassignment,” he agrees. She shows him the tool she picks up for a moment, making sure he recognizes it before completing the job.

“Is it an inconvenience?” Matt asks when she drops the tool back into the toolbox. She looks at him in confusion before he explains further. “Having to teach me everything?”

She frowns, understanding he’s probably been treated rather rudely by her coworkers. She’s his third mentor, after the first two became too irritated to work with him. They’ve been together for a few days now, and while she can see there might be frustration over the work taking longer, he really isn’t that bad. _A little socially awkward, perhaps, but not the worst company you can find around here._

“No, it’s not,” Anika answers finally. She’s tempted to leave it at that, but the awkward exchange makes her ramble on. “I’ve got a lot of patience. You have to have a lot of patience to work here.”

“Why is that?”

He sees her lift the cover panel and takes over holding it in place for her, so she can replace the screws that hold it on. She smiles slightly at the fact that she hadn’t needed to ask, almost like he read her mind. “Well, a lot of what maintenance does at base is clean up after our Commander.”

“You mean Kylo Ren,” Matt says, and she notices his voice gets excited at the name.

“ _Commander_ Ren, yes,” she corrects. Hopefully he knows to not just go around calling the Commander by his name without a title. That would be a quick way to get in trouble. “You’ll see what I mean soon enough. He has a habit of breaking things.”

“I heard he breaks things to channel his power. That he’s extremely powerful in the force,” Matt says enthusiastically. He pushes his glasses back up his nose, a habit she’s noticed as the things don’t seem to fit quite properly.

“I don’t pretend to know why he does what he does. It’s not in my pay grade,” she says simply, fitting the last screw into place. She turns to give Matt a questioning look, but he still looks intrigued at their topic of conversation.

“You’ve never thought about him?” he asks persistently.

She sighs. “I guess I just thought maybe he broke stuff because he was overwhelmed.” She regrets saying it almost as soon as it leaves her mouth. Anika knows better than to badmouth their Commander. Gossiping maliciously about Kylo Ren seems like a fast way to get a black leather glove around the neck. _Not a bad mental image…_ She smirks at the thought, glad that she has managed to evade the Commander’s notice, and therefore his mind reading.

If he saw half the devious thoughts floating through her brain, she’d probably be shredded into pieces. Then again, what does the First Order expect? You can’t put a shadowy, masked man with special powers around sex-deprived females and not expect their imaginations to run wild. Anika knew she couldn’t be the only woman to witness Kylo Ren levitating one of his officers in a rage, and later picture his skills put to use in a different setting. Of course, the logical fear of the Commander kept them all from ever speaking of such a thing.

But Matt looks even more curious, raising an eyebrow as if to encourage her to continue. “I just mean…the force is like an extra sense, right? Maybe it’s just overwhelming sometimes. I know I’d get pissed off a lot more if I had to hear the stupid thoughts of all my coworkers, all day long,” she explains, before standing up to dust her knees off.

“Most people wouldn’t think about it like that,” Matt says thoughtfully, joining her in standing and picking up the toolbox.

“You could have ended the sentence with most people wouldn’t think,” she retorts, giving him a slight grin to show she’s joking. He looks almost confused at the expression on her face. _What, do people not smile at him?_

“I’m hungry. You up for lunch?” she asks finally, giving up on working a smile loose from his lips. He considers that before nodding.

She watches him in furtive glances as they walk down to the cafeteria. He’s a lot taller than her, almost gangly in proportion, if it weren’t for how broad he is. Her eyes drop to his body, before she forces herself to look away. _Don’t you dare make eyes at your trainee…_

His walk is strangely purposeful, borderline intense. She has to walk faster than her normal pace to keep up with him, as he storms down the hallway like the cafeteria is the most important destination in the galaxy.

“So what did you do before?” Anika asks, attempting to fill the silence. She’s never been good with long silences, feeling like she needs to fill them in with meaningless chatter.

“Before?” he asks. She flinches away from the sharp way he looks at her.

“Um, before you were assigned to be a tech,” she explains. “Before the reassignment?”

“Oh! Oh,” he says awkwardly. “Um…”

They arrive at the cafeteria, filtering in to join the queue, and he’s still silent, eyes searching. “You don’t have to tell me,” she says finally, trying to give him an out. He seems to accept it, and they shuffle along the line, both piling unappealing food onto their trays.

Anika’s mind is curious, wondering why he would be so reluctant to tell her what he’d done before. Was it something restricted? Could he have worked for Intelligence, perhaps? The blonde hair looks a little too light to be real, she thinks, considering dye. _Has he changed his looks? I wonder if his name is really Matt…_

They sit down, and Anika busies herself with shuffling the food around on her segmented square plate. She pushes it this way and that with the fork, hoping to find a place to start eating that looks moderately more appetizing. It doesn’t work.

“This is disgusting,” Matt complains after a moment. She looks up to see revulsion on his face. Wherever he’d been assigned before, they must have had better food.

“Unfortunately, this is about as good as the food gets here,” she tells him sympathetically. “I’d stab a man for some chocolate.”

He looks up at her, and she has to force herself to not smile at the pouty expression on his face. “I’d stab the man who made this food,” he says seriously.

“Breakfast isn’t as bad,” she replies, trying to reassure him. “If you get here early, there are muja muffins. Though after a few months, you do get bored of those. Would it kill them to make some chocolate muffins…or chocolate anything…” She’s lost in daydreams of chocolate.

Matt is examining her again before he asks studiously, “Are all women fixated with chocolate? Or just you?”

Anika smiles. “I’m not sure.”

**One Week Later**

A mission went terribly wrong. Or so she heard, a few hours before receiving the orders to repair half of the consoles in the administration level. She’s on her way there when her commlink buzzes, and she opens the message to see it is her friend Darial. She’s reaching out to let her know LM-2059 didn’t make it back from the mission. He’d apparently been cut down in enemy fire.

Anika finds an empty room to dart into as her brain catches up to the information. It isn’t that LM-2059, or Liam as he went to his friends, was her boyfriend. No, it was nothing that defined or serious. Still, they had on occasion had their moments together. He had insisted they keep things casual, and she hadn’t cared. It wasn’t like the First Order openly embraced their employees having relationships, anyway.

Still, the thought of him dying was… bothersome. She wasn’t distraught, but it was upsetting to her. He hadn’t been a bad guy. A bit immature, perhaps. But definitely not a bad guy. _Am I tearing up? No. No, I can’t do this right now…_

Anika tries to compose herself, pushing herself to bury the bad feelings down for the time being. She can’t delay getting her work order done, or she’ll be reprimanded.

She hastens towards the admin level, relieved to see Matt already there getting started on repairs. But when her eyes scan the room, she groans loudly. It looks like Commander Ren has taken his saber to the room, leaving everything slashed open and sparking. They’ll have to retrieve new equipment, a good deal of this won’t even be fixable. Which means installation and calibration, which means even more time.

“Fantastic!” she groans, practically throwing her toolbox onto the floor by the nearest electrical panel. At least this one looks like she can fix it easily, making it a good place to start. Her mind is still a little unfocused, so she wants to start where it is easiest.

Matt looks towards her, his brow furrowed. His oversized glasses slip down his nose a little bit, and he pushes them back up. “What is wrong with you?”

She shoots him a glare before forcing it off her features. It isn’t his fault she’s here. He’s probably only asking because she’s usually so even tempered. Her sudden bad mood must seem unusual.

“Nothing. I’m fine,” she says tightly, getting started. It isn’t long until she shocks herself, painfully, however. Her mind isn’t focused on the work, and she swears, dropping her tool to stick the throbbing finger into her mouth. She attempts to soothe it with her tongue, sitting back.

“What’s wrong?” Matt repeats persistently. She looks at him, a few feet away attempting to replace frayed wires. He’s paused, staring at her intently, brown eyes serious.

Anika sighs. _He’s probably going to keep asking until I tell him._ “I just…I found out that someone I know died.”

His eyebrows raise a fraction. “Oh. Who?”

She realizes she shouldn’t be talking about this with Matt. Whose to say he wouldn’t rat out her inappropriate relationship to someone higher up? Still, she’s already began, and her shoulders slump as she accepts she might feel better getting it off her chest. “Liam. LM-2059.”

Matt looks confused, sitting down his wire stripper to cock his blonde head to the side a little. “LM-2059 was a stormtrooper, and you’re a maintenance technician. How did you know him?”

She’s surprised he knows Liam, but perhaps he is one of those people who remembers names easily. Or he could have known by the identification number, perhaps. She chews her lip nervously before answering. “We were… sort of involved.”

He looks intrigued. “Involved how?”

She gives him a look. “You know…involved. Like… a casual…thing.”

Matt stares at her. His eyes blink once. Twice. “I don’t understand.”

“We had sex sometimes, kriff Matt,” Anika says finally, blushing a little. “What else do you think involved means?”

His eyebrows shoot up as he at least has the good sense to look likewise embarrassed. “Oh…”

She looks away, the atmosphere between them quickly growing awkward. He, however, seems to only have more questions. “I thought relationships were discouraged, even among lower personnel?”

She sighs, dragging her eyes back to his. “They are. Hence why it was just a casual thing. Please don’t tell anyone, Matt. Please?”

He sits back off his knees, contemplating her. “Why would I tell anyone?”

“For the gossip? Because people love to gossip around here?” she says, shrugging.

“I don’t gossip,” Matt says as though it is obvious. “Why did you have sex with him if it was only casual? Is that a desirable arrangement for women?”

Anika’s mouth falls open at his continued questions, as she realizes she’s opened a can of worms. She had no idea Matt would be this intrigued in her sex life. To make matters worse, his questions make it abundantly clear he is rather inexperienced on the topic. And while that makes her feel slightly embarrassed to be informing him, she also finds it sort of cute. “Um…I think it’s probably more desirable for men? I don’t know.”

His eyes narrow in thoughtfulness. “If a man found a woman willing to have sex with him, you’d think he’d want to guarantee the relationship. Rather than risk losing it.”

Anika can’t help the small chuckle that leaves her, as he does have a point. He must not realize the vast number of men that overestimate how much they can play the field. “I suppose…I mean that makes sense. But most men don’t think like that.”

“LM-2059 didn’t think like that?” he presses.

“No. But I didn’t care. He wasn’t really my type,” she says with a shrug. “I mean he was attractive enough, and he could be nice…”

“Why wasn’t he your type, then?” Matt asks. She looks once again at his serious brown eyes behind the glasses. He looks fascinated, like he’s found a new topic to study. She swallows nervously as she realizes that topic seems to be her.

“Um…he wasn’t the smartest,” Anika admits. Then, she cringes. “I shouldn’t say that. He’s dead now, I shouldn’t say anything mean…But I don’t mean to be mean, its just the truth. He was really not smart.” She frowns, feeling guilty.

“But by having sex with him, you chanced any potential offspring inheriting his lack of intelligence,” Matt points out.

She winces her eyes closed for a second, unable to refute his point. Still, having it pointed out to her that she might have been making a poor choice by sleeping with Liam in the first place is uncomfortable. “Um. Yes. I guess you’re right,” she concedes. “It’s not really an issue though, with the implants.”

“Implants?” he asks immediately, face showing his confusion. _How does he manage to look adorable when he doesn’t understand something?_

She looks away, not liking the fact that she’s still randomly finding him attractive. She can’t entertain that line of thought, working with him so closely makes it inappropriate for her to go there. “Um, yes,” she finally confirms. “The contraceptive implant?”

When he only succeeds in looking more confused, and therefore more adorable, she sighs. “They make all the women on base get them. Even with the discouraging relationships, I think they assume better safe than sorry,” Anika explains.

“They make women use contraceptives?” he repeats. “But not the men?”

“Well they didn’t jab a hormone-loaded little bead under your skin with a needle, did they?” she asks rhetorically. “There’s a lot fewer women, so it’s more efficient. I guess.”

Matt actually looks disturbed. “That doesn’t seem right. It’s not a choice?”

Anika’s eyes widen at the way he casually questions the way of life in the First Order. “It’s just how it is, Matt. You join the First Order, and you’re a woman, you get an implant.”

He frowns. “But they shouldn’t make you do that, if you don’t want to.”

“While I may personally agree with you…you probably shouldn’t go around saying stuff like that,” she tells him earnestly.

“Why?”

 _You really can’t be this naïve, can you?_ “Because they don’t really want you questioning command,” she says as if it’s obvious. “Not unless you want Commander Ren force choking you. Which, admittedly, doesn’t sound half bad to me. But probably not your thing.”

Anika instantly regrets the joke when she sees Matt’s eyebrows arch sky high above the glasses, his eyes wide. “What do you mean? You _want_ Kylo Ren to choke you?” he asks.

She shifts, dropping her gaze to the floor between them. “Um… I mean… I was just joking, because…” Her cheeks burn with an embarrassed flush. “It’s just… it’s this weird thing I’ve thought about.”

She darts her eyes back to Matt, finding a matching red flush across his cheeks. _Kriff, how did we end up here…I just had to go running my mouth. Why am I like this._

“You’ve thought about Kylo Ren using the force to choke you,” Matt repeats, voice nearly hoarse with disbelief.

“Not to death,” she spits out defensively. “Just as like a, hypothetical, fantasy, type… Never mind…” She groans, feeling extremely awkward from his reaction.

“Fantasy?” he echoes.

“Yes, fine, a sexual fantasy, okay!?” she practically yells at him, looking stubbornly anywhere but his face. She can literally hear him spluttering for words, taken aback. “Let’s just drop it, okay? And don’t you dare tell anyone about my weird thing with choking and Commander Ren,” she snaps.

She gets back to work on the panel, ignoring it when Matt mumbles, “I told you, I don’t gossip.”

There is glorious silence for a while, and Anika fights the urge to break it with her random thoughts. She forces herself to focus on their work, letting Matt practice the skills she’s taught him recently on his own. It works for a while, before Matt tentatively speaks up again.

“A buddy of mine saw Kylo Ren take his shirt off in the shower. He said that Kylo Ren had an eight pack,” he says.

Anika drops her wrench to turn and give Matt an incredulous look. His eyes are leveled intensely at her, his face almost challenging. “I’m sorry, what?!” she gasps.

“He said that Kylo Ren was shredded,” Matt adds.

 _Oh I did not need to hear that…_ It only adds fuel to a fire she’s been quite successful in keeping burning low. She’s been able to resist wondering about Kylo Ren, about what sort of man is lurking beneath the mask and dark robes. She prefers to keep it that way, but now with Matt’s blunt confession she’s stuck imagining way more than she needs to.

“I…Damn it, Matt,” she splutters. He looks at her silently, pushing his glasses up his nose once more.

“We’re done talking about Kylo Ren,” she declares. “I need your help getting replacement equipment from the storage bay.”


	2. Ch. 2

**One Day Later**

Anika is laying in her bunk, delaying getting up for the day a little while longer, when the knock on the door startles her. She stands, opening it to reveal a droid. “Technician 646?” it asks.

“Erm…yes,” she confirms, eyeing the package it holds. It hands it to her. “What is this?”

“Delivery for Technician 646,” the droid says robotically. She watches it turn and retreat up the hallway before shuffling back through her doorway, letting it shut behind her.

Anika sits the package on the tiny table in her cramped quarters, looking at it skeptically. She never gets packages. She tears it open, impatient and befuddled at what it could be.

The contents of the package are the most glorious sight she can imagine.

_Oh my…am I dreaming!?_

It contains chocolate. So much chocolate. So many kinds of chocolate. She immediately pulls a chocolate muffin free of its wrapper, biting into it and moaning in delight. _Oh you filthy little muffin, you taste so marvelous on my tongue…_

Anika is halfway through the treat before pausing, mid-chew, as she realizes she has no idea who sent her the gift. She shuffles through the contents once more, before she spots a card. Sitting down the muffin long enough to open it, she reads the message inside before dropping the card in horror.

**“Sorry about LM-2059 taking a blaster bolt to the face**

**\- Kylo”**

The half-eaten muffin remains sitting on the table as she sits down on the chair, eyes widened but unfocused as she stares. _Kylo…Ren…sent me…chocolate? Commander Ren sent me chocolate. What…why… HOW? How did he know about Liam and I?_

Of course, there is the disturbing fact that it was a blaster bolt to the face that killed Liam. She probably could have done without knowing that, but realizes Commander Ren must have been there when LM-2059 was killed to share that particular detail. More disturbing, however, is the fact that her Commander apparently knows she was connected to Liam… and also knows she likes chocolate?

_What is happening in my life…_

Anika feels white hot rage when she realizes there are only two people who could possibly spread the news of her and Liam: Darial and Matt. And seeing as how Darial has been her friend for much longer and never snitched on her, that leaves Matt.

_Ooh I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna shove those glasses right where the sun doesn’t shine. I’m gonna rip his pretty dyed hair off his head, I am going to KILL MATT!_

She rants mentally as she searches her messy room for her datapad, finally locating it and bringing up technician assignments for the day. She finds Matt’s work location on the engineering floor, and dresses quickly.

_I’ll take a wrench to this man’s balls, I swear on the Force, I will choke him with his geeky little vest!_

She continues her internal fuming the entire way down to engineering, and when her eyes lock onto Matt, busy trying to repair a malfunctioning door, they narrow. She picks up her pace, practically slamming into him as she attempts to shove him into the wall. The effort fails, as he is apparently much more sturdily built than she realizes. He barely budges, but turns to give her a confused look all the same.

“What are you-” Matt attempts to ask, but she cuts him off.

“What did you do!?” Anika demands, grabbing a handful of his orange vest and attempting to haul him down closer to her own face. Again, he doesn’t budge. “Who did you tell, Matt!?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You told someone! About LM-2059 and me!”

“No, I didn’t,” he denies, brow furrowing.

“You must have! That’s the only explanation,” she insists, her grip faltering on his vest. He looks down at her hand before looking back at her face.

“The only explanation for what?” Matt questions. She releases her hold of him, faltering and stepping back from his chest a bit.

“Kylo Ren sent me chocolate! And a…a card. He knows!” Anika hisses, voice panicky. “So, you must have told someone, and that someone told someone else, and eventually it got back to him! That’s the only way he could know!”

Matt raises his eyebrows, gaze cool. “I don’t think that’s the only way Kylo Ren could know.”

Anika’s heart feels like it’s shot up to pound somewhere in her throat. “What…” she mumbles, dropping her eyes from his. But her mind is already jumping ahead, realizing what Matt is likely implying. _He can read minds… Did Commander Ren read my thoughts? Why would he? When did he? Why does he even care about me?_

She feels like she’s hyperventilating, her breath coming rapidly but too shallow to be effective. “You swear-swear that you didn’t tell anyone?” she asks weakly, stumbling back from Matt.

“I didn’t tell anyone…Are you okay? You look like you’re going to pass out,” Matt points out, following her forward a step. His hand raises, as if worried he’ll have to catch her.

“I don’t….feel so good,” she admits.

“Why don’t you-”

His suggestion is cut off when she lets herself sit heavily onto the floor of the engineering level. Matt kneels beside her, face concerned. “Why are you so upset?” he asks, confused.

Anika stares at him incredulously, her eyes feeling like they are popping out of their sockets. “Matt, KYLO REN knows about me and Liam! He knows about me, period! I’m dead!”

Matt’s face crumples in thought. “But, you said he sent you chocolate and a card…That doesn’t sound very threatening…”

Her panic abates slightly at the sound of his reason. “Oh… I mean…I guess that’s true…” she admits slowly. Her heart stops thumping quite as jarringly in her chest, making it possible to try to catch her breath. “Kriff, what am I going to do!?” she asks.

“What do you mean?”

“What do I do? Do I just act like it didn’t happen? I can’t just waltz up to Commander Ren on the bridge and say thank you for the lovely box of chocolate,” Anika whines. “But then if I don’t thank him, will that offend him? Matt, what do I do?”

Matt blinks before shrugging one shoulder slightly. “I really think you’re over analyzing this.”

Her eyes narrow with her temper. “I’m not over analyzing, you nerf herder. I’m panicking. There’s a difference.”

Her fellow technician frowns. “It sounds like he was just trying to be nice. Maybe just try talking to him?”

She gives him a glare at his lack of appreciation for the bizarre situation she’s finding herself in, before burying her face in her hands. “When would I have a chance? It’s not like we’re alone together a lot,” she grumbles in denial.

**That Night**

Anika is almost asleep when her commlink goes off. She tries to ignore it and continue drifting into a slumber, but her mind clings onto the noise with curiosity. She rolls over, forcing her eyes to close. It only lasts about two minutes before her brain is stubbornly stuck on thoughts of the commlink, wondering what the notification was.

She groans, pulling herself from her blankets to shuffle over to the table she’d dropped the device on earlier. It’s a work schedule notification, and she groans again, even louder. She clicks the icon, waiting for her schedule to be brought up on screen.

When she sees her assignment for the next day, her brow furrows. She doesn’t recognize the code for the assigned location, but her assignment title is “flight technician”. That catches her attention. She’s worked on plenty of tech for the First Order, but never on an active ship. Anika has only ever been stationed on base.

She brings up the code list, searching for reference to the job reporting site. When her eyes land on the answer, they widen. Anika lets the datapad drop onto the table, searching the bland walls of her little room in horror.

She’s scheduled to be working on Commander Ren’s personal shuttle tomorrow. The anxiety she feels is off the charts, her body tensing up just at the thought of being confined to a small ship with the Commander. And if it’s for a mission, who knows how long she’ll be stuck with him?

Anika grabs the datapad back up, messaging Darial immediately.

**Where are you? Are you available right now?**

She sends the message, gnawing on a thumb nail while she waits for a reply. _This is terrible. I’ve never been that close to Commander Ren. What if he reads my mind? What if he somehow finds out what I’ve said about him?_

Her face heats up at the idea of the masked intimidation knowing the filthy things she’d thought about him. She’d never meant any harm thinking them, she was bored. She had a crazy imagination. Surely he wouldn’t kill her for them?

When several minutes go by, and Darial still hasn’t replied, Anika lets out a miserable moan of defeat. She hadn’t been thinking. Darial works early morning shifts, she’s likely already asleep. That woman could sleep through a bombardment, likely the message alert hadn’t even made her snore.

Anika still feels panicky, and throws caution to the wind. She messages Matt instead, typing it up quickly and hitting send before she can second guess herself.

**Matt, are you available? I’m freaking out.**

She regrets it the moment the sent icon appears. She shouldn’t have done that, up until now she’d managed to keep Matt in the friendly acquaintance zone. Even after their awkward conversations, there was still some boundary of pseudo-professionalism between them. Sending a message about her impending anxiety attack was bound to break that last boundary to pieces.

 ** _What’s wrong?_** The response from Matt comes quickly, and Anika sighs with relief.

 **I’m so sorry to bother you so late, ~~but I think I’m going to die~~. **She rethinks that, hitting the delete key repeatedly. She rephrases the last part before sending. **I’m so sorry to bother you so late, but I was assigned a new job tomorrow and I don’t think I can do it.**

She paces, fidgeting. Perhaps she could see about getting a replacement to take her job instead? Surely there were plenty of qualified technicians, probably some with way more flight experience than her?

**_Why wouldn’t you be able to do it?_ **

Matt’s reply makes her ponder how to explain her situation, and she finally gives up trying with annoyance. **Are you available? Can you talk right now?** She sends. She’d much rather try to explain in person.

**_I’ll come to your room. Be there in a few._ **

Anika frowns. Matt doesn’t even know where she lives. Surely he’d realize that in a moment? In an effort to help him along, she sends another message including her room and floor number. Then she waits, fidgeting about and trying to not over think the situation.

 _Why would I be assigned as a flight tech now?_ She considers that maybe the regular flight technicians were all busy, or perhaps one of them had fallen ill. _Or maybe Kylo Ren snapped his neck like a breadstick._

The accompanying mental image does little to settle her nerves. Luckily Matt arrives soon, a soft knock at her door alerting her to his presence.


	3. Ch. 3

Anika slaps her hand on the door control to find Matt looking a little rushed and disheveled in the hallway. His glasses are slightly askew, his clothing rumpled. “I’m sorry for making you come here,” she apologizes immediately, frowning. “I could have come to your room.”

“No, it’s fine,” Matt insists. She moves aside so he can join her in her small space, and she’s suddenly aware of how big the guy is. She hadn’t noticed it so much before, all of his ill-fitting khaki clothing seemed to disguise his true size. It shrinks her quarters even more when his huge body is in there with her. _I wonder what he looks like, under all that baggy fabric…_

He hovers uncertainly near the door when it closes. “What’s going on?”

Anika forces herself to sit down on her bed, crossing her legs. Her foot immediately begins fidgeting anxiously. “I’m supposed to work on Commander Ren’s personal shuttle tomorrow, as a flight technician. I don’t know why I would be assigned that, I’ve never served on a shuttle before during a mission. I don’t think I can do it,” she rambles on, her speech rapid with nerves.

Matt’s eyebrows crease together slowly during her rant, until he’s left examining her in confusion. “Why wouldn’t you be able to do it? It’s the same equipment as on base,” he points out.

Anika’s lips part slightly as she stares at him. _Are you really that daft?_ She’d think it was cute, if she wasn’t bordering on hyperventilation. “It’s not the equipment, Matt, it’s Commander Ren! I’ve never been that close to him, I can’t be around him that long!?”

Matt attempts to fix his glasses, seeming to realize they are off center and correcting them. “Why not?”

“Matt, he can read minds. What if he reads mine and sees all the things I’ve thought about him?”

His eyebrows lift in surprise. “Just how much have you thought about Kylo Ren?” he asks, and she isn’t imagining the intense curiosity in his voice.

Anika groans with her embarrassment, trying to delay answering. Matt’s still just standing there by the door, looming above her. “Can you sit down?”

“What? Why?”

“Because you’re lurking over me like this giant confused tree,” she retorts. “Just sit please, it’ll make me more comfortable.”

She gestures vaguely at the tiny chair in her quarters and next to her on the bed. Though looking at the chair, the thing looks like Matt’s giant frame might overwhelm it. He examines it, before apparently concluding the same and sitting gingerly at the edge of her mattress.

She takes a deep breath before continuing. “It’s not like I spend all day, every day fantasizing about our Commander, okay? But if he happened to see anything-”

“Like the choking?” Matt interrupts.

She gives him an exasperated expression. “Y-yes, like the choking.”

“What else have you thought about?”

“I’m sorry, do you want me to outline my sexual fantasies for you?” Anika retorts.

Matt’s mouth drops open when she calls him out, the skin of his neck tinging pink with a blush. “I’m just trying to understand what you’re so scared about Kylo Ren seeing,” he says after a long, tense moment.

“I’m fairly certain he’s not going to be happy about some underling, getting off to the thought of him…. You know,” Anika concludes lamely, looking away from Matt.

When Matt is still silent a minute later though, she can’t stand it anymore. She looks back to see the blush on his skin has grown, his ears now also tinged red. Worse yet, she finds herself thinking it’s cute. Most of the men on the ship are lewd, or cocky. She finds Matt’s shy blush to be refreshing, bringing to mind thoughts of what else she could do to make him blush. _My hormones are going to be the death of me._ She forces herself to drop that entire line of thinking, and focus.

“It was explicit, okay?” she offers, her voice wavering with hesitation. “Very explicit, and very detailed, and I liked it. A lot.”

She sees his throat bob as he swallows hard. “Oh,” Matt offers in response.

_He’s judging me…He thinks I’m a freak… Fantastic._

“From what I’ve heard, that’s not how it works,” Matt adds.

Anika raises her eyebrows. “Not how what works?”

“Um, Kylo Ren’s power. If you aren’t thinking it right then, I don’t think he’d know all the things you’ve thought in the past?” Matt tries to explain. “He’d have to, um, pry a little deeper? Like an interrogation.”

Anika cringes at the word interrogation. _Definitely not mentioning that specific fantasy now… Nope, I’m going to act like that’s never crossed my mind…_

“How do you know how his power works? Who told you?” she asks curiously. She has to admit the information he’s shared helps. It’s comforting to know that the commander won’t be able to immediately access all of her shameful imaginings.

Matt shifts awkwardly on the bed, lifting his hand up as if to run it through his hair before he seems to stop himself. His hand drops back down to clasp the other one in his lap. “Um… I just heard it. Around. People talk.”

Anika wants to press more, confused about exactly which people he’s heard talk about how Kylo Ren’s force powers function. It’s not a topic of gossip she’s ever been included in, anyway. But instead she sags with at least partial relief, rubbing at her forehead where a dull headache had begun. She’s still anxious, the thought of having to closely control all of her thoughts for an entire shift unpleasant. But maybe, just maybe, she’ll survive it.

“Thanks,” she mumbles. “That helped, a little.”

“Of course,” Matt reassures her.

They sit in silence. Anika can barely stand the quiet, regretting asking him to come in person. She should’ve sucked it up and dealt with it on her own, or at least kept the discussion through the messaging. She figures he’s probably feeling awkward, and gives him an out.

“Um. You don’t have to stay, if you don’t want to,” she offers.

“I can stay a little, if you want,” Matt replies immediately. “I don’t mind.”

“Oh, okay,” Anika says. She chances a glance over to see Matt staring at his hands in his lap. She’d never really paid attention to them before, but realizes they’re massive. She practically shakes her head, trying desperately to not let her mind go there.

“I don’t think you’re a freak,” Matt says suddenly.

Anika stares in confusion. Her attention is drawn, thankfully, away from his long, thick fingers. “What? I never said you did.”

His eyes widen behind the glasses. “Right, I know,” he fumbles over his words. “I just mean, those things you said you thought about… it didn’t make me think bad about you. I liked hearing it.”

“Oh?” Anika asks quickly. “Do you have some kinky thoughts of your own, Matt?”

 _Whoops._ She looks down, making a face as she realizes just how flirtatious her attempt at teasing him came out. She’d meant for it to be a little flirty, but her voice had made it fully salacious. And she can’t stop her eyes from darting over to his hands, rising up to his face to see how he’s reacting.

Matt’s eyes meet hers, full of hesitation. He laughs nervously. “No,” he says. “Nothing…like what you think of.”

Anika knows she should retreat from this line of discussion. She’s crossing a line, and she doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable. But he admitted he liked hearing her sexual thoughts, right? Wasn’t that inviting her to cross the line? What if he was open to her, the same way she’d been noticing her attraction to him?

She turns her body towards him more, examining his profile. Matt catches her gaze, the hesitation in his brown eyes slowly turning to something else. She recognizes it, can feel the tension rise up between them. _I should not do this, nope…No, this is a bad idea…_

But why not? Matt had said it himself, he was not a gossip. She could trust him to keep it between them, and they were both adults… And he is very attractive, she thinks, even with the oversized glasses and mop of messy blonde hair. _Kylo Ren might impale me on his lightsaber tomorrow. Might as well go for a different kinda lightsaber tonight._

“So you liked hearing my fantasies?” she asks. Matt nods, and she’s thrilled to see the intensity in his eyes grow. Even though his body seems to become more nervous, his hands clenching. Maybe he hasn’t done this much before, but she doesn’t care.

“Do you want to hear more about Kylo Ren? Or maybe about someone else?” she offers.

“Kylo Ren,” he replies immediately.

Anika falters for a moment. Had he not realized she was trying to turn things around to focus on him? _Whatever. Maybe he’s into that sort of thing._ Either way, she goes for it.

“Well, the one night I couldn’t sleep. And earlier I had seen Kylo Ren screaming at this officer in the bridge, and pinning him to the wall,” Anika begins.

Matt is focused fully on her, his eyes unblinking as he gives rapt attention to her words. “And I just started thinking about how scary that would be, if Kylo Ren used the force on me. But then I also thought it might be… Strangely hot?” she continues.

His adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, and she sees the way he wets his lower lip. She takes it as a positive sign to keep going. “So I pictured if he came into my room that night… And I suddenly couldn’t move. He’d pin me down, and rip my clothes off me with the force.”

She pauses, watching Matt’s lower lip fall, his mouth open slightly as he seems to be breathing heavier. He’s definitely into what she’s saying, and so she decides to share more. “And I just imagined how vulnerable I’d feel, completely naked in front of him while he’s behind that mask. I wouldn’t be able to do anything, not even move a muscle, but I think I’d love it. Being helpless while he does whatever he wants.”

“And then what?” he breathes, barely loud enough for her to hear.

Anika nearly smiles, thrilled he’s so interested. She’d never been very good at sexy talk, but it seems to be working on Matt. He’s hanging on her words like he’s a starving man, and she’s serving up a buffet. She notices the way his eyes drift now, from her face down her lips, lower…Lingering at the neckline of her sleep shirt before darting back up to her eyes.

Anika starts imagining it, the way she had that night. She imagines being frozen beneath the shadowy mass of Commander Ren. Goosebumps creep over her skin as she pictures him standing over her, the buzz of his breath through the helmet, his black glove outstretched. Her eyes focus on Matt’s full lips, and she wonders what they’d feel like against hers. She takes a breath before she keeps going.

“Then I pictured him touching me, and it turned me on so much. Thinking of those gloves touching me everywhere, wrapping around my throat…Squeezing, owning me… The taste of leather in my mouth when he makes me suck on his fingers, before he-”

She’s cut off when Matt jumps up suddenly, taking her by surprise. “I, uh,” he begins, his eyes suddenly refusing to meet hers. He starts for the door, and she jumps up in confusion. “I have to go.”

“What?!” Anika asks, mouth hanging open. Had she gone too far? But he’d been enjoying it, hadn’t he? Was it possible she’d misread his reactions that badly?

“I’m really sorry,” Matt insists, but his voice is a little too forced to be believable. “There’s this thing. That I have to go do. Right now.”

The door slides shut behind him, leaving her to stare at it in shock. _Fuuuuuuuuuck._

**The Next Morning**

Anika stares at her messages, trying to talk herself out of sending an apology to Matt. She’d typed one up and nearly sent it right after he walked out of her room the night before. But she’d stopped herself, not wanting to make things even more weird between them. Surely it will be better if she makes amends in person, right?

She isn’t even sure if she needs to make amends. Anika is nearly positive Matt had been into what she was saying. But then why had he stormed off in a rush?

She just hopes he was serious about not gossiping. She really doesn’t want to be called in for disciplinary action for making advances on her trainee. Anika forces herself to sit down the datapad. She’ll see Matt on her next regular shift, and she’ll apologize for the direction the conversation took. That’s it. _It’ll be fine. Perfectly fine._

Maybe she’ll talk to Darial about it. She has enough time to grab a caffa with her friend, before reporting to the hangar.

Anika finishes getting dressed and lacing on her work boots, before leaving her room. She hurries towards the cafeteria, helping herself to caffa and then scanning the large dining space for Darial. She spots her friend, hurrying over.

“Hey! I was beginning to think you weren’t going to make it this morning,” Darial greets her when she drops down to sit across from her.

“Yeah, it’s been a weird morning,” Anika says, sipping the burning hot liquid tentatively. It almost scalds her tongue, but she is impatient.

“Are you still scheduled for Commander Ren’s shuttle today?” Darial asks, frowning. She pushes a muja muffin across the table towards her. “I got you one, in case they were all gone by the time you got here.”

“Yes, I am. And I’m actually not hungry. I’m sorry, that was nice of you,” Anika says apologetically. She leaves out the part where she isn’t hungry, because she stress ate half a box of chocolate after Matt left.

Her friend shrugs. “I will never complain about eating a second muja muffin. Are you nervous, or feeling better about it now? I still feel bad I wasn’t up to talk last night.”

“It’s fine. Actually, Matt came over to talk,” she mentions. “Things got…weird.”

Darial squints, trying to remember, as she peels the wrapper off the breakfast pastry. “Matt…Is that the one you’re training? The one you said was kind of awkward?”

“Yeah… I think I might have messed that up.” Anika sees the way Darial pauses midbite, her eyes turning curious. When she talks again, its around a mouth full of muffin.

“How did-oo mess it up?” A couple crumbs drop from her lips before she swallows. “Did he hit on you?”

Anika winces, searching the cafeteria around them. She’s wondering if Matt’s there, if maybe she could attempt to clear things up with him sooner rather than later. The thought is tempting, rather than putting it off to their next shift together. But she doesn’t see his face anywhere.

“Um, so I actually hit on him? Kind of?” she answers. Darial’s eyes widen and she rushes to explain. “I thought he was into it? He _was_ into it, I swear. But then he ran off.”

“Anika, I don’t mean this to sound insulting, but I have to ask. _How_ did you hit on Matt? Because if it’s the approach you’ve used in the past-”

“No, kriff, no I did not just throw myself on him,” Anika rushes to deny. “I told you, I panicked with Liam. We were both in that storage unit and I just… No. I didn’t jump Matt’s bones.”

“So what did you do?”

She makes a face, closing her eyes with reluctance.

“That bad?” Darial presses.

Anika sighs. “So a while ago, I might have confessed to Matt that I’d once thought about Commander Ren choking me,” she begins, dropping her voice down to a whisper. Darial’s eyes widen further, now comically round. “Oh don’t make that face, I know you’ve thought about it too.”

“I’m not into _that_ stuff,” Darial refuses, shaking her head.

“You mean the fun stuff?”

Darial rolls her eyes. “Anyway, continue…”

“I was explaining I was nervous to work with Commander Ren, in case he could see anything I had thought about him,” Anika whispers furtively. “And Matt seemed like he was really interested, and so I kind of started telling him about a particular fantasy I’d had…”

Darial groans. “Anika…”

“I know! Okay, I get it, I shouldn’t have done that…” She drains the last of her caffa. “Maybe if I’m lucky, Commander Ren will kill me for thinking kinky thoughts and then I won’t have to deal with Matt. Death would solve most of my problems.”

“You know I hate your negative sense of humor,” her friend chides. “You shouldn’t joke about that. I’m sure Matt will understand if you just assure him you can keep things professional in the future.”

Anika nods, trying to ignore the giant clock on the wall. But it’s impossible, as it’s ticking down the seconds until she needs to leave for the hangar. She can feel the anxiety starting already, tightening up her lungs, making nervous energy build in her limbs.

“I have to get back to work,” Darial says regretfully. “We’re swamped in the medbay.”

Anika nods. “Right. I should head off to my imminent doom.”

“It’ll be okay,” Darial insists, standing. “Just keep your mind on your work, and don’t daydream. I doubt the commander will even notice you.”

Anika nods in agreement, and they part ways. She heads across base, towards the hangar where the ships are stored and take off. As she walks, she tries to focus on her breathing. It helps to keep it calm, and also stops her from imagining a lightsaber impaling her body.

The hangar is massive, way larger than she remembers. Then again, it’s been a long time since she’s had to come here for anything. She moves quickly, searching for the right bay before punching in her credentials for access. The large door slides open, and she walks in with what she hopes is a confident stride.

Anika can already make out the commander’s shuttle, as this bay is far less crowded than some of the others she had passed. She makes her way towards it, and none of the stormtroopers standing around question her. As she gets closer, she sees him. Commander Ren. He’s standing by the bay controls, talking to someone in an officer’s uniform.

 _Kriff, he’s even taller than I remembered._ Anika realizes she’s already thought about him, despite her entire goal of the day to be not thinking about him. _This is going to be impossible._

_No. It’s fine. Just focus on the shuttle. Get on the shuttle, and just…find something to work on._

She’s walking towards it, entirely focused on that goal, when the shuttle in question explodes. One minute she’s staring at a perfectly fine ship, the next minute, it’s a fireball. Anika is flung backwards, colliding with the wall of the hangar with enough force to knock the air from her chest.

She stares, blinking, at the flaming remains of the ship. Pieces of it are scattered around the hangar, and for a moment she’s tempted to feel herself over to ensure there isn’t a shard of metal sticking out of her body. _What the…_

Her ears are ringing from the noise of the explosion, thoughts scrambled as she tries to understand what just happened. She still can’t quite catch her breath, and the air is quickly thickening with the smoke of burning wreckage.

The troopers around her that were also flung outwards right themselves, and one has the good sense to start trying to put out the fire. A large fire containment droid is already rolling over, activating from where it was dormant along the side of the bay. Anika’s staring at the flames, disoriented, when the black-clad legs block her view.

Her mouth hangs open when Commander Ren crouches in front of her, his mask only a couple feet from her face. “Are you injured?”

She stares at the dark space where his eyes should be, trying to gather words to answer him. But she’s out of it, and can only shake her head. The motion sends her vision swirling, and the commander’s head dances in front of her eyes. She feels like she’s going to be sick, clamping her lips together in horror at the thought of vomiting on Commander Ren’s boots.

His mask disappears from her view, but she hears him yell for a trooper. A moment later, one of them arrives by her side.

“She needs medical treatment. Take her to the medbay, now.”

“Yes, sir!”

The trooper reaches down, taking a hold of Anika’s arm to help her to her feet. She stares at the commander as he turns and begins to walk away, feeling like she should say something. But her mind is scattered, head beginning to throb painfully now. She blurts out the first thing that comes to her.

“Thank you for the chocolate, Commander Ren!”

The stormtrooper’s helmet slowly turns towards her, cocking as he stares at her. “Wow. You must have hit your head _really_ hard.”


	4. Ch. 4

Anika grimaces when the nurse shines a ridiculously bright little flashlight directly into her pupils, moving the light side to side. She clicks it off, then back on. “Hmm…Did you hit your head?” she asks, finally lowering it.

“I think I might have?” Anika replies, uncertain.

The nurse feels the back of her head, only to drop her hand when Anika winces in pain. She hit a tender spot, a bump right at the back.

“Feels like you cracked it pretty good. How many fingers am I holding up?” The nurse holds up two fingers, which are now clear to Anika. Whatever wooziness she’d experienced right after the explosion is gone, her vision fine.

“Two. I feel okay,” she insists.

“Did you vomit? Or have any ringing in the ears?” the woman persists.

“Well, I was nauseous. And there was a little ringing in my ears. But there was a lot of smoke, and the explosion was loud, so…” Anika trails off with a shrug. The nurse looks dissatisfied.

“Stay here, we’ll observe you for a few hours to make sure it doesn’t get worse.”

The nurse turns to leave, nearly running into Darial when she comes through the partition. Her friend nods to the woman exiting the tiny exam room, waiting until she pulls the curtain back closed before rushing over to Anika.

“What happened!?” Darial asks urgently, face concerned.

Anika tries to relax back on the gurney, but it isn’t exactly comfortable. Hopefully she won’t need to stay long enough to be transferred to a permanent room. “I don’t know. The shuttle just blew up.”

Darial’s eyes widen dramatically. “Kriff! Why would it do that? That’s absolutely insane.”

“Beats me. I didn’t touch the thing,” Anika insists.

Her friend sits on the squeaky examination stool by the side of the gurney. “I was so upset when they told me you were brought in! I thought maybe your mind was in the gutter, and the commander actually did something to you…”

“Oh, no,” Anika shakes her head, stopping when it causes a headache to start throbbing. “Though he did come over to see if I was okay right afterward. Which was kind of weird.”

“Maybe he was just concerned? That’s actually nice,” Darial replies thoughtfully.

Anika stares at her. Leave it to Darial to think the best of people. She was hopelessly optimistic, always trying to give others the benefit of the doubt.

“Yeah. You know our commander. Has a real reputation for being a nice guy,” she drawls sarcastically. And yet… He had been right there, almost like his first reaction was to check on her. _Weird… First the chocolate and card, then this…_

She pales when she remembers what she’d blurted out at his retreating back. Had she thanked him for the present, while his personal shuttle was ablaze and all hell was breaking loose? Had she really done that? Anika wants to crawl into a hole.

“Well, maybe he’s not as bad as everyone says he is,” Darial says. “You know people say terrible things about General Hux, but he’s always been very sweet to me.”

“That’s because General Hux wants to get into your pa-”

Anika’s snarky retort is cut off by someone out in the medbay shouting for Darial. “We’ve got two more troopers, these ones from the shuttle explosion! We need you out here!”

“Are you feeling okay other than the bump? Not dizzy or disoriented?” Darial asks, standing up.

“I’m good. Go do your thing, doctor gorgeous,” Anika assures her. Her friend rolls her eyes good-naturedly.

“I’ll be back to check on you as soon as I can!” she assures, bustling out of the curtain and snapping it back closed.

For a while, Anika stares at the ceiling and tries to make sense of the noises she hears out in the main area. There’s groaning and whining, then a period of silence. Then, she can hear the low voices of a muffled conversation.

She quickly gets bored, wishing she had a datapad. Or anything to do, really. The ceiling here is so bland, a shiny white. She supposes it’s better than the rest of the base, which is various shades of black and slightly less reflective black.

Anika shifts onto her side, trying to get pressure off the tender spot of her skull. She suppresses a yawn, searching the wall instead. It’s also, shockingly, white. _Probably makes it easier to spot all the bodily fluids that get spewed._

She wrinkles up her nose at the thought. Whoever had designed the base had lacked a creative touch. While Anika really couldn’t complain about her job or the pay, the doom and gloom appearance of the place left a lot to be desired. _Then again, it is meant to blow up entire star systems, so… doom and gloom is probably fitting._

She lets her eyes close, tired of staring at a blank wall. She feels herself getting tired, and doesn’t bother to stop sleep from drifting over her mind.

**Later**

“Anika! Wake up!”

She jerks awake at Darial’s frustrated voice, shoving herself up on the gurney. Darial’s standing near her feet, a hand on her hip. Anika groans in discomfort, her body feels sore from sleeping in an odd position.

“What? I was just taking a nap,” Anika complains.

“You aren’t supposed to sleep, what if you have a concussion?” her friend chides. “You have some serious explaining to do.”

“I’m fine. I slept, and I didn’t die,” Anika says, raising her eyebrows with confusion at Darial’s attitude. Her friend doesn’t sit on the stool like earlier, instead she narrows suspicious eyes at her. “What!?” she exclaims, confused.

Darial raises a hand, pointing at the narrow metal cart beside the wall. Anika follows the gesture, eyes landing on a teddy bear. She furrows her brow. “Um…Thank you for the stuffed animal?” she guesses. “You didn’t have to get me something, I just bumped my head-”

“I did not get you the bear, Anika.”

“Um, who did then?” she asks in confusion.

Darial’s eyes are still narrowed, searching her face critically as if to detect something there. “A very nervous officer dropped it off, right after Commander Ren stopped by,” she explains. “He wanted to personally inquire about your condition.”

Anika’s eyes widen. She gives the bear a second glance, picking it up to read the message stitched onto the lighter fur of it’s stomach:

**Feel better _beary_ soon! **

“What the fuck,” Anika spits out, sitting the bear back down gingerly.

“My thoughts exactly,” Darial agrees.

She gives her friend an incredulous look. “What!? I have no idea what’s going on!”

Darial’s eyes finally relent from the suspicious glare. “You’re not sleeping with the commander?”

“What!? NO! No, I am not!” Anika insists frantically. “Did you really think I would do that and keep it from you!? Why would I have been so nervous about working with him if I were sleeping with him!?”

Her friend shrugs, giving her an apologetic look. “I thought maybe you were nervous, because it would make it look like you got the position _by_ sleeping with him? I don’t know.”

“Well I’m not.”

“I’m sorry.”

An awkward silence stretches between them, and Anika fidgets before giving up on getting comfortable. She sits up on the gurney, dropping her legs down to dangle above the floor. Though she still has a little bit of a headache, she feels fine otherwise.

“Do you think he wants to sleep with you?” Darial asks hesitantly.

Anika’s eyes widen as she stares quite stubbornly at her shoes. _Oh, sweet force…Oh no. That might actually… Could it actually…_

“I just mean, that’s rather unusual for the commander to check on a tech himself? I’ve never seen him in here. Not even when one of his Knights are injured, and they are way higher up than a technician,” Darial rambles. “And to send you a get well soon gift, well that just seems like something a man would do when he’s interested-”

Anika raises her hand, and thankfully Darial takes the hint. She stops rambling, letting silence fall between them again. _Does Commander Ren want to… Is that why he’s sending the presents? And rearranging my work shifts to be near him? Oh, kriff…_

Her stomach flops anxiously. It couldn’t be, could it? In all her time on base, the commander was never in the company of women for any social purposes. She’d have heard about it, she’s certain. She heard about General Hux’s liaisons. Gossip spread fast. At some point news would have spread if Kylo Ren had affairs. At least, if the women lived to talk about them, anyway.

“Nope. Nope, I don’t think that’s it,” Anika insists, her voice nearly squeaky with how high pitched it’s coming out. She can hear the denial in her tone, false and panicky.

“Anika, I don’t mean to alarm you. But that really could be a possibility-”

“That’s not it! Not it at all!” Anika cuts off Darial, giving her a wild look. Her friend holds her hands up.

“Alright, fine. That’s not it.”

“Okay, so, I’m going to go back to my quarters. And I’m going to just… take another nap. Yeah,” Anika decides, jumping down off the gurney. _Nothing like a nap to hide from life’s problems._

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, your head-” Darial begins.

“Is absolutely fine.”

“Fine. Stubborn.”

Anika darts around her friend, yanking back the curtain to the rest of the medbay. She’s ready to flee this conversation, flee whatever conclusion she’s unfortunately drawn about Commander Ren’s recent attention to her.

“Don’t forget your teddy bear,” Darial calls, grabbing the stuffed animal and holding it out to Anika when she turns around.

She stares at it, not wanting to take it.

“Anika…” Darial’s face is sympathetic as she frowns. “I don’t think you have to panic…”

“Would you not panic if the commander started sending you presents?”

“Presents? With an s at the end?” Darial picks up on the slip immediately, an eyebrow quirking high.

Anika groans, snatching the teddy bear and hugging it to her chest with defeat. “He sent chocolates. After Liam died.”

“ _Oh…”_ Darial darts forward to snap the curtain back closed, as if the flimsy material will somehow provide more privacy from anyone nearby in the medbay. “You know, this might not be a bad thing?”

“You remember Tim?” Anika asks. Darial winces, indeed remembering. “Ren crushed a vending machine, _by throwing Tim into it_. They still haven’t replaced that vending machine, too, and it had my favorite snacks."

"Tim was kind of a dick,” Darial says, shrugging. “He whined the whole time he was in here recovering, I was ready to tape his mouth shut. I just mean, under that whole get-up, the commander is…just a man. Maybe he’s lonely?”

“How do you know he’s a man? He could be anything under that mask,” Anika points out. Her head is filled with visions of creatures, aliens, and bizarrely, the head of a parakeet sitting on the oversized shoulders of Commander Ren. _What is wrong with my imagination…_

“No, he’s really just a guy,” Darial insists. “Jorran worked on him the last time he was injured. He said he’s just a really tall, really built guy.”

Anika realizes she’s crushing the teddy bear, her anxious grip too tense. She doesn’t like where this is headed, not one bit. _He said that Kylo Ren had an eight pack. That Kylo Ren was shredded._ “Okay, well, I’m going to go back to my room. I’ll message you later.”

“Please don’t do that thing, where you panic and hyperventilate?” Darial asks, face worried.

“I won’t,” Anika agrees, darting out of the exam room as fast as she can. _I’m definitely going to do that thing, where I panic and hyperventilate._

**Minutes Later**

Anika’s rushing down the dark hallways of the base, trying to ignore the way the lights reflect off the shiny floors. It makes her headache twinge more painfully, and all she wants is to get back to her quarters before she completely freaks out. But her mind is running away, chasing down a nagging thought.

Why is Commander Ren just now interested in her? What could have possibly grabbed his attention?

Anika’s breath catches when she considers the possibilities. Could it be that all her worry over not letting him see her fantasies was for nothing? _What if he already knows what I’ve thought about him… What if that’s why he’s doing this? But those were just fantasies, I would never…I could never…_

She’s so caught up in her thoughts, she doesn’t even look when she rounds a corner. Anika smashes, face-first, into someone’s chest. She tries to recoil, losing her balance and nearly going down. Fortunately, whoever she ran into has quicker reflexes and he grabs her, balancing her upright.

She looks up, surprised to see Matt’s concerned face. He releases his grip of her shoulders, stepping back to leave a space between them.

“Hi,” Matt greets her, before he seems to fumble for words for a moment. “I was just coming back to check on-Are you okay? You’re breathing really fast.” 

Anika shakes her head. “I’m hyperventilating.”

Matt’s eyes widen, made even more comical looking behind the thick lens of the glasses. “What? Stop it!”

She’s dizzy feeling, shooting out a hand to hang onto the wall. “I don’t know how much experience you have with calming people down, but typically shouting ‘Stop it’ at them doesn’t help!”

Matt grabs her arm, and she doesn’t resist as he pulls her down the hallway to the first door. He hits the control panel, and it slides open to an empty meeting room. Anika complies when he pulls her in, plopping her down onto one of the chairs. She fumbles the bear, and it tumbles next to her feet.

“Try to focus on breathing slower. Stop thinking about anything else,” Matt suggests.

She tries to do what he suggests, to focus on dragging out each breath instead of rapidly gasping them in. But her mind is carrying itself away. Matt crouches down in front of her, and she’s surprised when he takes her hand. Her fingers disappear in his grasp, his thumb coming to rest across her knuckles.

Anika’s even more surprised at the way it calms her, her body immediately releasing the tension that was carrying it away. She stares at their joined hands, working on holding each lungful of air before allowing herself to release it.

“There you go,” Matt murmurs, voice low. “That’s it.”

Sparks dance up her wrist when his thumb strokes over her knuckles slowly, once, twice. She licks her lips, trying to ignore how much she likes his voice like that. Husky, soft. _Not now, you moron, just breathe._ And she does, deeper inhales with slow exhales until she feels a lot more normal.

“Feel better?” he asks.

Anika nods, raising her gaze to catch his. “I, um, actually wanted to apologize,” she admits quietly. _Might as well get this out of the way._

“What? What for?” Matt asks, confused. She notices his hand doesn’t release hers, her skin warm against his.

“For making you uncomfortable the other night,” Anika says, dropping her eyes from his with embarrassment. “I shouldn’t have talked about that, and I hope you can still work with me. I can be more professional-”

Matt interrupts her, his hand giving her fingers a slight squeeze. “You don’t have to apologize, really. I wouldn’t have asked you to talk about it, if I didn’t want to hear it.”

“But you ran off,” Anika points out in confusion. “Like, you literally ran out of my room.”

“I know,” Matt groans. His glasses have slid down yet again, and he drops her hand to shove them up his noise. He looks irritated, glancing away from her. “I’m not good at-I don’t really do this-”

“I think you’re cute,” she blurts out, before stopping herself. What has gotten into her? Somewhere between a shuttle exploding in front of her face, and nearly having a meltdown over the thought of Commander Ren pursuing her, she’s lost any last shred of common sense. But it’s true, she realizes. She likes Matt.

Matt’s eyes shoot back up to hers, the irritation vanishing. His lips part with confusion. “You what?”

She shrugs. _How can today get any worse?_ “I just… think you’re really cute. I mean your clothes are too baggy, and those glasses are awful, but they’re kind of growing on me.”

Anika watches the blush creep up Matt’s pale neck, splotching his cheeks. His lips still hang open, as if he doesn’t know what to say. His eyes dart between hers, searching for something, full of doubt. She can’t help herself. She leans forward, before she loses her nerve, and presses her lips against his.

Matt’s lips are warm, soft even. But they’re frozen against hers, unmoving. Barely a heartbeat passes before she realizes she’s messed up, again. He isn’t kissing her back.

Anika flinches backwards, breaking the contact. “Kriff, I’m sorry!” she whispers in horror. She snatches the stupid teddy bear off the ground, standing quickly to escape the situation. But she doesn’t make it passed Matt before he stands straight as well, grabbing onto her wrist.

“Wait.”

She hesitates at his voice, looking up at his face questioningly. One minute he’s staring down at the floor, his expression almost tentative with uncertainty. Then the next, he’s stooping down to her level. She tilts her face up for him, her breath catching when his mouth covers hers.

But there’s more this time. He presses his lips to hers, his grip staying loose around her wrist. She dares to shift her lips down just a bit, centering her kiss on his full lower lip, only to feel him catch her upper lip in exchange. She darts the tip of her tongue out in the smallest little stroke across his skin, exploring the taste of him. She hears a noise in Matt’s throat, a catch in his breath.

When he drags his lips away from hers, it’s so slow, so lingering. His fingers fall away from her wrist as he steps back, and Anika flutters her eyes back open. She feels breathless, at a loss for words. She’s never at a loss for words.

“I, um…I actually do have to go,” Matt says, his voice a little faint. When she dares to meet his eyes, they’re apologetic. “Not to run away, don’t think that.”

“Right.” Anika agrees, in a daze.

“They think it was an insider job, the shuttle exploding. I’m going to check over some of the systems for sabotage,” Matt explains. “Can you get back to your quarters alright?”

“What? Yeah, definitely. I’m good,” she assures him, awkwardness creeping in post-kiss. Matt seems to become aware of it, too. He backs up further, nodding.

“Good. That’s good,” he says. “I’m glad you’re okay. After what happened.”

She makes a noise of agreement, giving him a small smile as he retreats to the door. It isn’t until it’s slid closed behind him that she fully realizes everything he’s said. Why would they have Matt inspect the remains of the shuttle? He isn’t even a full technician yet. It would make much more sense to have someone more experienced analyze the systems.

Anika stares down at the stuffed animal, narrowing her eyes. Suddenly, she’s feeling _beary_ suspicious.


	5. Ch. 5

**That Night**

Anika can’t sleep. Between replaying the brief kiss with Matt, and over analyzing him checking the shuttle for sabotage, she’s wide awake. She tries to rationalize with herself. Perhaps Matt was a much better technician with shuttle systems than radar relays. He could have expertise with something she was unaware of, that made him suited to the task.

But still, Anika thinks it’s odd they didn’t have someone more established on the base do the job. Who had even asked Matt to check for sabotage? He didn’t say. It had to be someone high up, to make such a request. Perhaps Commander Ren himself? Or General Hux?

Anika sighs, sitting up to try to fluff her pillow. Wherever the First Order got their standard issue bedding from, the stuff was horrendous. Scratchy sheets, and limp pillows that were practically useless. _I bet there’s prisons with better beds…_

She gives up, letting herself flop back down into bed on the unsatisfactory lump of a pillow. She replays the kiss for what feels like the hundredth time in her memory, letting her eyes drift closed. She recalls the way Matt had held his breath, their lips clinging, even as he slowly dragged himself away.

It was such a small thing, really. Barely more than a peck. But Anika finds herself grinning like a giddy teenager, there in the dark. It meant more, didn’t it? _Matt wouldn’t kiss me, if he didn’t like me too…right?_ The thought makes her so content, she might actually be able to fall asleep. She could dream of Matt’s warm brown eyes, under that mess of blonde hair.

But sleep doesn’t come. No sooner does she picture Matt’s cute face, than it’s replaced by the black mask of Commander Ren. A dark void where human eyes should be, a robotic voice that is downright sinister. Somewhere in her darkened quarters, Anika knows the teddy bear is laying where she’d dropped it. Lurking, more aptly, like a reminder of whatever intentions her superior suddenly had towards her.

_Kriff…_

Maybe if she made it known around base that her and Matt were a thing, the commander would back off. Gossip spread incredibly fast, at least. It was worth a shot, assuming things with Matt continued in a positive direction…

Though, there’s a part of Anika that she doesn’t want to admit is there. Somewhere, deep down…buried underneath her anxiety…she’s curious.

What would a man like Commander Ren _really_ be like in private? Would he be the dominating, controlling figure of her fantasies? She’d built him up, practically fetishized him into some sexy phantom that starred in her depraved delusions. It was made all the easier by the fact that he wore that all-black outfit, storming around like rage incarnate. But what if, underneath that, was something else… something tempting?

_No! No… Not going there, brain. Not tonight. Go to sleep, you idiot._

**Morning**

Anika is disappointed when she gets to her work station, only to see no sign of Matt. She gets to work anyway, assuming he is assigned somewhere else for the day. But by halfway through her shift, she is getting curious. Mostly, she wants to know when she’ll next see him.

She ends up using her lunch break to check her datapad, bringing up the work schedule for technicians. She scans it, only to frown when Matt’s name is nowhere on the schedule. _Huh?_

Anika scrolls up, bumping the icon to move to the next day of the schedule. A moment later, her brow is crumpling in confusion. Matt is nowhere on the schedule for the following day, either. Within minutes, she’s checked the whole week. It’s like Matt has disappeared from the technician ranks.

_This isn’t good…Oh this really, really isn’t good…_

Why wouldn’t he be on the schedule? Even if he’d been granted a day off, or two, he still should be on there for the rest of the week. Anika ignores her tray of food, mind searching for a logical explanation. But she can’t find one, beginning to panic instead.

What if Matt had found something he shouldn’t have? What if whoever was to blame for the sabotage, had wanted to stop him?

Anika sends a message to Matt, hopeful that he’ll respond quickly. But when several minutes go by without a response, she stands. She picks up her still-full tray of food. The last thing she wants to do is force down the unappetizing food, while worried about Matt’s safety. If he’s in danger, she wants to help. Assuming it’s not already too late.

 _Shit, shit, shitshitshit…_ Matt has to be okay, she reasons. Surely there is some other… random… currently hard to imagine… reason why he’s not on the schedule!? Anika tries to convince herself she’s overreacting. It would hardly be the first time.

She carries her tray to the trashcan, dumping the sausage and its too-soggy bun in. She slides the empty tray onto the return shelf above the garbage, turning around only to practically run into a stormtrooper. He still has his helmet on, and he looks between her and the trash.

“What? You not a fan of sausages?” he asks, grabbing at his crotch. He looks back towards his buddies, sitting at a nearby table. Only one of them humors him with a laugh.

Anika narrows her eyes, recognizing his voice. “Tim. I’m so glad you’re back to work,” she drawls. “Maybe next time Commander Ren can throw you into something a little more deadly.” _Like a sarlacc pit…_

She shoves passed him, ignoring his attempts at a comeback. She’s got a destination in mind, and she isn’t about to get distracted.

**Hangar Bay**

Anika heads straight to the hangar, intent on checking a few things for herself. She wants to get an idea for Matt’s recent whereabouts, to know exactly when he was examining the shuttle. It’s even possible he’s still working on it, going through the systems. But if not, she can use the access logs for the hangar security system to see exactly when he entered and exited the bay.

She punches her credentials into the large door, darting inside when it slides open. The wreckage of the shuttle is still there, out in the middle of the bay. What remains is charred black, parts of the metal looking melted. She doesn’t see Matt.

Anika turns her attention to the computer console inside the door, quickly bringing up access records. But her face falls when Matt’s name or employee number is not there. In fact, the only individual to have accessed that particular bay the night before was Commander Ren himself.

 _What the…_ Of course, it made sense that Commander Ren might come back to examine the shuttle. Especially if he believed the sabotage was intended to kill him. _But that doesn’t explain why Matt isn’t in the log…_

Had he lied to her, about where he was going? Anika’s stomach sinks. Had he been making up an excuse, to extricate himself from her advances? But no… She was going to leave, he’d stopped her. He had initiated the second kiss. Why would he lie about having to leave, after stopping her to kiss her properly?

She logs out of the system, beyond frustrated. _Someone could have cleared the log… But why? Unless…_

Anika bites at her lip nervously. _Unless they were trying to hide something…_

There was a second, more roundabout way to see who was in the bay, and during what times… Assuming the individual had a commlink or datapad on them, the device would link up to the nearest network router. The entire base’s system recorded which devices were being used in what areas, constantly. Anika frowns, knowing she probably wouldn’t have permission to check such a thing.

But what if someone had cleared the access log? Wouldn’t it be worth it to figure out what was being hidden? _Especially if something bad is happening with Matt…_

Mind made up, she gets on the system a second time. She makes quick work of getting into the network access history, scanning for Matt’s employee number in the list of devices in the hangar bay. But yet again, she is disappointed to see that he is missing.

_What the kriff…_

However, it becomes immediately clear that someone did alter the access log. After Commander Ren left the bay the previous night, another device is listed as being active for eight minutes. Anika squints at the employee number, not recognizing it immediately. She pulls her datapad out, using it to search the ID.

She gets a terrible feeling when the result pops up. Her supervisor was in the hangar bay last night, and must have cleared herself off the access log. _What are you up to, Patty?_

She scrolls through the history, passed the middle part of the prior day. There’s her own device, Ren’s again, the stormtroopers, various pilots… And Patty’s datapad, again. Anika raises her eyebrows at the times recorded. Her supervisor had accessed the bay in the middle of the night, before the day of the commander’s scheduled mission.

Anika plugs her datapad in, copying the information to it. She doesn’t want to risk losing the only evidence she has. Whether her supervisor has an innocent explanation or not, someone is tampering with access logs. At the very least, she thinks, that is suspicious. 

_But it still doesn’t explain where Matt is…_

**Later, Medbay**

“Darial-”

“You’re not dying, Anika.”

“I really am this time, though,” Anika argues, impatient. She needs to tell someone, needs to get advice. She has no idea how to handle the situation, and she’s too worried about Matt.

“You’re going to need to wait, I have a patient,” Darial insists, gesturing down at the man on the guerney between them.

“What? He looks fine,” Anika retorts dismissively.

“He needs stitches!” Darial snaps, threading a needle.

“Lady, do you not see the bloody gash that used to be my shin?” the man snaps.

Anika takes a second to actually look down at him, wrinkling up her nose in disgust. His leg is indeed torn open in a long, jagged cut. “Okay, fine, you got me there…”

She leaves them to it, pacing in the waiting area of the medbay instead. When Darial is done a few minutes later, she tows Anika into the supply room to talk. Anika rambles quickly, pouring out all of her concerns over Matt and what she found on the hangar bay security system.

Darial’s face grows more alarmed by the second. When Anika is finally done explaining the cause of her most recent panic, her friend looks as worried as she feels.

“This is very bad, Anika…” Darial says, voice low. “Your supervisor could be covering her tracks, if she was trying to get the commander killed.”

“I know! Why do you think I ran in here like my head is on fire!?”

“Has Matt messaged you back?”

Anika consults her device quickly before shaking her head. “No. Still nothing.”

“You have to go to someone,” Darial insists. “Someone way above Patty. You have to report this! What if she is guilty, and finds out you are onto her?”

Anika gulps. “Okay, but who?”

Darial drops her eyes, making a face towards the floor. “I mean… It was Commander Ren’s shuttle.”

Anika shakes her head, wanting to refuse Darial’s suggestion. But she has to consider that it is probably the best solution. Ren would want to know the information she has. And by telling him, she might be able to find out if Matt is okay. _It makes perfect sense that I have to tell him… and yet…_

“I’d…rather not,” she admits, grudgingly.

“Well you could try someone else, but I think the commander might be the only one you can really trust. If someone is trying to kill him, who knows who else might be involved…” Darial argues.

Anika groans. “How do I even…?”

“Message him.”

**Ten Minutes Later**

“Anika! You can’t mention the word ‘sabotage’ in the message, what if your supervisor monitors your communications?” Darial chides.

“Okay, but I can’t just say what you said. ‘Need to meet with you urgently’ sounds like a booty call,” Anika retorts, deleting the message yet again.

“No, it doesn’t,” her friend snaps back, irritated. “Just say… You have important information regarding the mission you were scheduled for. And that you need to meet him in person.”

“I really don’t see why I can’t just _message_ him the important information-”

“Do you know where Matt is right now?” Darial demands.

Anika falls silent, frowning. “No…”

“And _that_ is why you aren’t sending sensitive information over comms,” Darial argues. “Because if something bad happened to him, you don’t want to be next! You know what… Come on.”

Anika makes a noise of protest as Darial grabs her arm, pulling her from the supply area. “What are you doing?”

“Taking you to the command center,” Darial replies.

“What!? Why? We can’t just barge up to Commander Ren-”

“Mitaka owes me a favor. I’ll see if he can get you a meeting,” her friend explains.

Anika trudges along dutifully as Darial leads her from the medbay, her stomach jumping with nerves. She really doesn’t want to talk to Commander Ren. The thought of staring down his mask, while trying to not remember all the weird fantasies she’d imagined is too much. But what if he already knew all of them? What if he’d been paying attention to her thoughts, long before she realized? _Why am I a bumbling moron…_

“I’m going to throw up,” Anika groans as they get closer to command.

“Keep it together. You have to do this to help Matt,” Darial points out, voice sympathetic.

_Right, Matt. I have to find out if Matt is okay._

She tries to focus on that, as Darial leaves her fidgeting nervously next to the entrance. Her friend approaches one of the lieutenants, speaking lowly. _Matt better be okay… I only got to kiss him once. I swear if Patty did something to him, I’m going to shove her into a trash compactor._

 _Row, row, row your boss, gently into the trash-_ She jumps at a male voice, turning to realize Darial and the lieutenant have come over.

“I can get you in a room with him, but fair warning, he’s in a mood today,” Mitaka says solemnly.

“Fantastic,” Anika replies weakly. “Thank you so much.”

Mitaka nods, leading her towards one of the meeting rooms in the rear, away from the main control center. “Wait here. Commander Ren’s on his way back with General Hux, it should only be a few minutes.”

Anika nods, only to panic when Darial starts to leave the room with the lieutenant. “Wait! You aren’t staying!?” she calls after her friend.

“I’ll be right outside,” Darial tries to soothe her. “It’ll be okay. Just get right to the point, don’t ramble like you usually do.”

“Right. Of course,” Anika agrees. “Wait, I ramble? I don’t think I ramble. I mean sometimes I talk too much when no one else is talking, but I would stop if someone else-”

“Anika, sit down. Take some deep breaths,” Darial suggests.

Anika nods, pulling out one of the chairs around the meeting table while Darial and Mitaka retreat. She can still see them, if she cranes her neck. They’re standing in front of one of the vast windows, talking near a computer terminal. She watches for a few minutes, trying to not let her mind get carried away. Mitaka disappears at one point, leaving Darial to stare out the transparisteel alone. Anika fights the irrational urge to flee the meeting room, or to drag Darial back into it with her.

_Matt… I have to do this, for Matt…_

She can tell when someone higher up has entered the space. The officers she spots out the doorway snap up straighter, their body language hinting at the proximity of a superior. A moment later, and Anika sees the immediately recognizable red hair of General Hux. Her eyes narrow as the general wastes no time at all approaching Darial.

_I knew it, you little man skank…_

He’d had his eyes on Darial at the last party on base, watching her like a hungry hawk from across the room. Darial had been oblivious, and later denied the observations. But as Anika watches now, her friend is practically giggling with the attention. No…She actually is giggling.

Anika leans forward even farther, sprawling herself out onto the table to continue spying on them. The chair she’s in groans, its balance tested as she rocks forward on the wheels at its base. She makes a disgusted face as their flirting escalates, an exaggerated gagging noise leaving her mouth when Hux’s hand finds its way to Darial’s arm.

What is Darial thinking? Didn’t she hear the rumors about Hux? The man went through lovers like a Hutt went through Tarisian ale. The contents of General Hux’s pants were vastly more well-known on base than the literal face of Commander Ren. _Ugh, he’s a grade A, certified, nasty piece of-_

“Man skank?”

Anika shrieks at the mechanized voice of Commander Ren, coming from directly behind her. She jerks away from it, and that last little motion is enough to tip the balance of the chair. It dumps her forward, but she at least manages to catch herself on the table. She scrambles upright, whirling around to see that the commander has crept up silently in back of her.

He’s standing there, like a huge, menacing statue. Just watching her clumsy antics, his dark mask unreadable.

“C-Commander Ren! I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you come in,” Anika rushes to apologize. “I wouldn’t have stayed seated if I knew you were here-how did I miss you, I was staring right at the door? It doesn’t matter, I’m sorr-”

“Stop.”

Her babbling is cut off by his order, and she realizes her mouth is hanging open a bit still. She closes it, confused as Ren raises his hand in the air. But he gestures, pointing his thumb back behind his back. There’s a second door to the meeting room, one she hadn’t even noticed.

Anika feels her face heat up with a scorching blush. _Of course. Right. Second door. Kriff, should I say something else? He’s just staring at me. Is he expecting me to talk? Or does he want to talk?_ The moment of silence between them is starting to become awkward before he finally breaks it.

“Mitaka said you had something urgent to speak with me about,” Ren says. “And yet all that seems to be on your mind is the sexual proclivities of your general.”

“I-I wasn’t-” she tries to deny, to stretch for some excuse. But she doesn’t get far.

“You were.”

Ren’s tone is final, and she doesn’t dare argue. To her horror, the door to the control center slides shut. Neither of them moved near the control panel, but it seals itself regardless. Anika realizes he must have done it with the force, and swallows nervously.

“How much time do you spend, pondering the sex lives of your superiors?” Ren asks, his voice somehow dropping even deeper from within the helmet.

Anika’s eyes widen in panic at the question, searching the black emptiness of his mask. He takes a step forward, and she freezes like a trapped animal. Her back is to the table, she has no room to retreat. His presence is so intimidating this close, she has to remind herself to keep breathing.

“I-I’m sorry Sir. For thinking about General Hux’s private affairs,” she stutters out.

“Are you sorry?”

Her lips part at his tone, unsure if she really heard it correctly. Could the mask’s effect on his voice be playing tricks on her? It almost sounded… _Flirtatious._

“I am sorry,” Anika confirms, voice small.

“Is that all you’re sorry for?” Ren presses, stepping even closer.

She has to tilt her head to look up at him, before she second guesses herself. She drops her gaze to the floor, wondering if she should be staring into the void where his eyes would be. Anika’s heart is pounding hard in her chest as she tries to answer carefully.

“I’m not sure what else I would be sorry for, Sir,” she replies.

Another step, and Commander Ren’s black boots meet her gaze. Her breath leaves her lips in a trembling exhale when the commander reaches out. The fingertips of his leather gloves ghost down her cheek, curving under her chin to force her head up. Her eyes raise to search his mask yet again as he answers her.

“I’ll forgive you for lying, just this one time,” Ren growls quietly. “Since you don’t know any better.”

Anika licks her lips before she catches herself, trying to force her face to remain still. She’s scared and mortified. Partially because he’s calling her bluff, but also because her body is a complete traitor. Something about the commander holding her face up towards his mask, his deep voice putting her on the spot… It’s too much like one of her fantasies. Anika realizes there’s something more than anxiety dancing in her belly.

The commander’s fingers linger, cool leather on her skin as he continues. “From now on, you might as well not bother lying to me. I can always tell. Do you want to know how?”

She takes a quick breath. “How, Sir?”

“I can feel it in your body,” Ren explains, bending closer. The mask comes near her face, she can hear the filtered sounds of his breath. “I can feel the way your muscles tense, the nerves firing along your spine. You breathe faster, shallower. Lying is a feeling close to excitement, isn’t it?”

Anika’s mouth is hanging agape, as she doesn’t know what to do. What does he want her to say? Should she apologize? Beg for her life? It’s undeniable now. Her stupid body is aroused, hovering between lust and fear. It’s helped along by the way he practically purred to her in that dangerous, altered voice of his, as if he knows exactly what he’s doing to her…

 _Is he… playing with me?_ The thought is incredulous to her, but yet… Between the gifts, and his behavior now, she’s nearly certain that is the case. For one long moment she’s stuck staring at him, at a loss for words.

But then Commander Ren pulls his hand away, stepping back. “You’re going to tell me exactly what was so urgent. Now.”


	6. Ch. 6

“S-Sir, I have reason to believe someone accessed the hangar your ship was in, the night before it exploded,” Anika says quickly.

“I checked the access log myself,” Ren replies, his tone dismissive.

“They would have altered the log,” Anika insists. “To cover their…tracks…” She trails off when she literally feels the commander’s mood shift, his patience apparently worn off. _That’s not good…_

“What evidence do you have for that theory?” he snaps.

“I-I checked the network, to see which devices were connected in the bay and compared it to the access log,” Anika explains. “And there was a device recorded twice, both last night after you left, and the night before the mission.”

Commander Ren’s head tilts slowly to the side, as if he is intrigued. He steps back into her space, forcing her to once again peer up into the mask. “And did this device belong to someone missing from the hangar access log?”

Anika nods. “I downloaded the information, in case you wanted proof-”

“Who was it?” Ren cuts her off abruptly.

“My supervisor, Patty,” she answers.

Somehow, he manages to grow even more terrifying, as tension creeps into his posture, turning it predatory. “I never suspected a tech…” he growls, the mask adding a deep vibration to the sound.

She gulps, unsure what to say. She’d really like to excuse herself from his presence, as quickly as possible. But he’s still blocking her from the door.

“Well, it kind of makes sense though, doesn’t it?” Anika mumbles, unable to stop herself from trying to defuse the anger puffing up Ren’s chest.

His mask fixates on her face, and she can feel that he’s staring at her, hard. “ _How_ does that make sense?”

“B-Because if you want someone to sabotage equipment, a tech would know how to do it?” Anika rambles nervously. “And techs are practically invisible-no one ever notices us, so we’d never be suspected first if something were to go wrong-”

“Stop.”

She falls silent, dropping her gaze to stare down at the toes of her boots. She lets her hair fall down to partially shield her face. The lack of sound makes her painfully aware of how noisy her breathing can be.

Anika attempts to soften her own exhales, only to notice the commander’s breathing is anything but calm. He sounds like he’s more than halfway to a temper tantrum. _Kriff, please don’t pull out your lightsaber…_ She has seen too much of the damage he can inflict with that thing, and she is standing _entirely_ too close to him if it were to appear. 

“Why did you think to check the network access?” Ren asks tersely.

“I-I just thought that perhaps the guilty party would have deleted evidence, and it occurred to me there was a second way to see who all was in the hangar,” Anika answers, her eyes still locked onto her scuffed up boots.

“Clever. However, that doesn’t answer my question,” the Commander hisses.

“I’m sorry, Sir, I don’t understand-”

She’s cut off when Ren reaches out, his leather-clad fingers slipping through her hair. She freezes as he pushes it back from her face, his touch trailing along her scalp. Backwards, until he reaches the crown of her head.

Anika gasps when he sinks his fingers into her strands, pulling slowly but firmly. He forces her to lift her chin, to meet his mask once more with her startled eyes. Her cheeks warm with a blush as part of her thrills at the vulnerable position he now holds her in, her hair caught in his fist. _Why do I like this… What is wrong with me…_

“You look at me when we are speaking,” Ren says quietly.

“Yes, Sir,” she replies immediately.

She presses herself back when he steps even closer, the edge of the table digging into her thighs. But there isn’t enough space, and the commander is practically up against her. Jolts shoot up her spine at his proximity, that wriggle of arousal only growing.

“Why were you investigating who was in the hangar prior to the shuttle explosion? Did someone order you to do that?” he clarifies.

“N-no,” Anika breathes.

His free hand comes to her neck, tracing lightly over the exposed skin there. It’s not aggressive, he doesn’t attempt to grip her throat. Rather it’s light enough to be a tease, like some small reminder of how weak she is. Her arousal surges in response, and Anika realizes he’s turning her on intentionally. This is some sort of twisted game he’s playing. _What have I gotten myself into…_

“Is that a lie?” the Commander asks. “Did someone give you an order?”

“No,” she insists. “No one told me to investigate.”

His fingers in her hair relent their hold, gently combing through the remainder of her locks to drop free. “If you’re not lying, then why do you feel so excited?”

“I don’t,” Anika rebuts quickly, mortified. She wants to drop her gaze again, but keeps it locked obediently on the silver trim of his mask. “I’m not excited, I’m scared. You’re scaring me.”

“Now, _that_ is a lie,” Ren purrs.

Again, the mask distorts his voice. But there’s no mistaking it. _That’s as close to flirtatious as a robot is ever going to sound._

“Why did you take it upon yourself to check?” he pushes.

“I was worried,” Anika admits. “About a-a friend.”

“Who?”

“…Matt,” she answers. “He’s my coworker.”

Commander Ren steps back suddenly, and it’s like the air that has been missing rushes back around her. Anika takes a full breath for the first time in what feels like an eternity.

“Explain,” he orders.

“Matt said he was examining the shuttle for signs of sabotage last night. Then he wasn’t at work this morning, and when I checked the schedule for the week, he isn’t on it anywhere. Someone’s taken him off the schedule, Commander Ren.”

A noise issues from the helmet, something like a huff. “I’m sure that’s an oversight.”

Anika makes a noise of disagreement, emboldened by her concern for Matt. “I don’t think so, Sir. He hasn’t answered my messages all day-”

“He could be busy.”

She falters, trying her hardest not to glare at the mask. The commander is dismissing her very real worry about Matt. “Sure, he could be busy. But either someone also deleted him from the hangar access logs, to hide his presence there. Or, he never made it to examine the shuttle. Don’t you see? Something could have happened to him!”

“He’s fine,” Ren insists.

Anika tries, but fails to hold back her anger. “Commander, I apologize for arguing, but- If Patty was up to something she shouldn’t have been, who knows what she would do to stop someone from finding-”

Ren cuts her off with a hand lifted into the air. One second the frantic words are blurting out of her mouth, the next they’re gone. It’s like he’s hushed her voice, stealing away any sound. She is left to stare at him, agape in shock at his power.

“Your friend is fine. You will have to trust me on that,” Ren growls, lowering his hand. “He’ll be back on the regular schedule soon.”

 _Does he know where Matt is? He must, to say that…_ Anika feels slightly reassured, if not irritated that Ren simply hadn’t told her sooner. Of course, it really wasn’t any of her business, as a lowly technician. But she was already involved, and it could have avoided her pushing the issue.

“Send me the information you copied to your datapad,” Ren says. “You are dismissed.”

Anika nods, squeezing passed him to make for the door. She has to try twice before the locking mechanism will respond to the panel control, finally releasing the door to slide open. But Ren stops her before she can exit.

“Anika?”

A chill shoots up her spine at the sound of her name, spoken in the commander’s voice. She turns back to him, hesitantly testing out her vocal cords. To her relief, she can speak again. “Yes, Sir?”

“No more independent investigations,” Ren orders. “From now on, you come to me with your concerns. Do you understand?”

She nods meekly, taking it as a sign to leave when the commander turns his back to her. Anika scurries out of the meeting room, finding Darial waiting for her in the command center. Thankfully, General Hux seems to have found something better to do with his time than leer at pretty girls. He’s nowhere to be seen. _Probably off oil slicking his hair…_

“How did it go?” Darial asks, her eyebrows knitting together in concern when she sees Anika’s face.

“Not now,” Anika hisses, grabbing her friend’s hand to tow her from the area. 

**Minutes Later**

Darial is silent for a long time after Anika finishes explaining what happened in the meeting room. She’s reclined on Anika’s bed, face contemplative.

“So, Matt must be working for Commander Ren, then. It’s probably secret, and that’s why he’s missing from the schedule,” Darial says thoughtfully. “At least now you don’t have to worry that he’s dead.”

“Right. Instead I can worry about the fact that I’m relatively sure Commander Ren wants to seduce me,” Anika retorts. “It was so weird…”

“It sounded like a sexy interrogation,” Darial quips. “Hmm, who do we know that used to fantasize about those?”

Anika’s eyes widen before she admits that’s exactly what it had felt like. _Exactly like one of my sexy interrogation fantasies… Oh…my…_

“Fucking fuck, Darial,” she breathes, letting herself drop down onto the mattress.

“Eloquent,” Darial remarks sarcastically.

“Do you think that’s what he’s doing? Like some odd…foreplay…type thing?” Anika asks wildly.

Her friend tries to fight the smile from breaking out on her face, and fails. Darial chokes down laughter, managing to turn it into a cough. “I think it’s very possible that is exactly what he’s doing.”

“I can’t believe you’re laughing about this,” Anika growls in frustration, flopping down over Darial’s legs. Her eyes land immediately on the teddy bear, half fallen over on her table. It’s shiny plastic eyes meet hers, which is more than she can say for the man who sent it to her.

“I told you how many times to stop daydreaming about the commander?”

“Are you really ‘I told you so’ ing this situation?”

“Yes! Yes, I am!” Darial exclaims, nudging her leg into Anika’s side. “You’ve gotten his attention, and now you either have to woman up and tell him to space himself, or…”

“You can’t be suggesting-”

“Jorran said he’s actually kind of hot,” Darial interrupts.

“Jorran says every man with a pulse and an erection is hot,” Anika snaps back, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was your type as well,” Darial retorts.

“Well as long as underneath Ren’s helmet, there isn’t some redheaded ferret, half drowned in hair gel,” Anika says challengingly.

Darial’s eyes narrow dangerously, before she grabs the pillow from the head of the bed and whips it at Anika’s head. Anika manages to deflect it, and the poor pillow thumps to the floor instead.

“Hey! I could have a concussion still, you know-”

Darial snorts with derision at the attempted guilt trip. “I quite like the way the General styles his hair. If I’m going to be seeing him more, I don’t want you making snide remarks.”

Anika’s mouth drops open. “I-You-What- _Hux!?_ You _want_ to see _Hux_ more?”

Darial’s face grows self-conscious, and she drops her eyes down to the sheets of the bed, picking at them nervously. “He asked me to attend the officer's dinner with him.”

“How much is he paying you?”

_“Anika!”_

“He’s a schutta,” Anika insists. “You know his reputation, right?”

“He’s always been nice to me, and he assured me he’ll be a gentleman,” Darial replies.

“I’m sure he’ll be very gentlemanly, helping you out of your clothes and everything.”

Darial gives a defeated, exaggerated sigh. “Whatever. Just give me a chance to give him a chance, okay?”

Anika makes a noncommittal noise that is half groan, half irritated wail.

**Days Later**

It’s been days since Anika’s seen Matt, but she has to settle for trusting the commander. She hopes he’s safe, wherever he is. She hasn’t had a great deal of time to worry about it, since she received yet another switch in work assignments. It’s been keeping her more than busy.

The commander’s new shuttle needs equipment installed, and he’s apparently requested Anika handle it personally. She was informed by her new supervisor, who was promoted to replace Patty. Her former boss’s whereabouts are unknown, and nobody seems too keen to ask questions. Anika tries not to think about where the woman ended up. But if she had attempted to kill Commander Ren, it’s probably somewhere worse than even Anika’s imagination can fathom.

Every day she slinks into the hangar, only to relax when yet another shift passes without the commander himself being present. She’s free to work on his shuttle in solitude, running diagnostics and installing relay systems. She occupies her wait time by checking out the top of the line engines, though she doesn’t know enough about them to dare to poke around much. She’s cross-trained in a lot of things, but engine maintenance isn’t one.

Anika’s about to call it a day, her shift winding down and her stomach growling for dinner. The navigation computer updates are about finished, and she just wants to check that the nav charts have been fully updated before leaving the hangar.

She’s packing up her toolkit when it beeps, catching her attention. Anika furrows her brows when she sees a flight plan is already loaded into the system. _Huh…_

She examines it, beyond confused. Why would a flight plan already be in the system? The shuttle hasn’t even departed the hangar yet, and she seriously doubts Commander Ren has already planned a mission in it. Surely he’d wait for her to clear it for use?

Anika frowns, torn. Something seems off, but she’s reluctant to run to the commander about it. How sinister could a harmless flight plan be? _I should tell him… He told me to come to him with my concerns…_

But the memory of Ren’s massive frame looming over her is too recent. Just remembering the way he’d held her, his hand caressing her throat, causes her nerves to dance with excitement. Does she really want to have another meeting with him? _No, not when avoiding the issue altogether seems so much more my style…_

_I’m sure it’s just a bug or something. I’ll clear the flight plan out, and if it’s back when I reboot the system tomorrow… I’ll say something then. Yeah. That’s fine._

Anika clears the flight plan out of the nav computer, shutting it down for the night. Then she hurries out of the hangar, shuffling around in her bag to find her commlink. Darial’s hot date with the General is this evening, and Anika wants to see her friend off to it. _Or troll her relentlessly, same difference._ She sends a message off to see if she has time to drop into Darial’s quarters before she leaves.

She’s barely looking where she’s going as she walks through base, when she hears Matt’s voice.

“Hey, you kicked my wrench!”

Anika looks up as a stormtrooper passes her, bumping roughly into her shoulder. Matt’s kneeling on the ground next to an open panel, his face indignant as he stares down at the floor. Anika follows his gaze, spotting the wrench.

She’s surprised to see Matt, figuring she would have gotten a message from him as soon as he was able to reply. But clearly he hadn’t bothered, and had left her messages ignored. Seeing him working like normal makes her stomach sink, the possibility of his rejection stinging.

Had he not answered her messages because he didn’t want to speak to her? Was it his way of backing out of whatever happened between them?

She picks the wrench up, hearing Matt grumble under his breath. “Jerkface.”

“Welcome back,” she greets him coolly, walking over to hand him the tool.

Matt looks up, the scowl relaxing from his features. “Thanks.” He takes the wrench, only to toss it into his toolbox.

Anika shifts her weight from foot to foot, unsure what else she should say. Perhaps she shouldn’t ask where he’s been, but that doesn’t stop her from wanting to prod him. “Long time, no talk.”

Matt pushes his glasses up his long nose, his eyes meeting hers briefly before darting away again. “I was busy.”

“Were your datapad and commlink also broken?” Anika cringes at the tone her voice comes out in, something accusatory. And yet, she does have a right to call him out, doesn’t she? He’s left her messages unanswered for days. _If he was back to regular duty, he could have at least sent a quick reply…_

Matt stands, rubbing at the back of his neck as he still avoids looking at her. “I’m sorry?”

She narrows her eyes. “Sorry for what?”

Matt finally catches her glare, and he looks genuinely perplexed. “For…not answering your messages?”

“Very good,” Anika retorts, tone snarky. “I’m glad you’re alive and all that.”

She moves to stride passed him, her pride taking over. She knows she’s being immature, but something about the way he isn’t even trying to explain himself feels like a slight to her. _He could at least feed me some excuse for where he was. He isn’t even bothering to do that._

Matt reaches out to grab onto her arm, halting her before she can storm off. “I know you’re mad.”

Anika whirls on him. “Mad? Why would I be mad?”

He drops his hand, huffing a sigh of frustration. “Because you were worried about me, and because you think I owe you an explanation. But I can’t give you one, and I’m not going to lie to make it seem like I can.”

She frowns, dropping her gaze from his soft brown eyes, and his honest expression. He’s managed to make her indignant anger vanish, and now Anika just feels slightly embarrassed. Was she really that easy to read?

“How…how did you know I was worried?” she argues petulantly, in a last-ditch attempt to keep from caving to his puppy eyes. _Damn you for being so cute… You’re making it really hard to be mad at you…_

“Because you like me,” Matt states matter-of-factly.

 _Oh, nope, there it is again. Yeah, I’m still pissed._ “Okay, I like you? My mistake. Clearly I shouldn’t bother wasting my time liking someone who doesn’t even reply to my messages! You know I was scared someone murdered you? And you come back to work and don’t even message to say ‘Hey, Anika, no worries, I’m alive’ and that’s really rude-”

“I like you too.”

She is stopped mid-rant by his confession. She stares at Matt, taken aback by the blunt way he’s admitted his feelings. His eyes are surprisingly confident, even as his cheeks are once again tinged pink with a blush.

“You…do?” she asks dumbly. Matt nods, gaze locked on hers. She sighs, unable to stop her eyes from travelling down to his lips. She remembers how good it had felt to kiss him. She finds him so attractive, in the tallest, strangest of ways.

She looks away, spotting the door to a storage unit a few feet down the hall. _I swore I wasn’t going to do that again… Oh, hell._

Anika grabs Matt’s orange vest, attempting to tow him across the hallway. She’s relieved when he complies, obediently following where she leads. The door opens for them as they approach, and she pulls him through, smacking her free hand onto the control once they’re inside.

The door slides closed behind them, leaving them alone in the small storage space. Anika catches the nervous look on Matt’s face for just a moment before she stands on her tiptoes. She snakes her arms around his neck, urging him down to her so she can press her lips to his. She keeps the kiss light, aware of the way Matt’s body tenses against hers.

After only a moment, she pulls away to give him an out. “If you’re not comfortable-”

Matt’s arm loops around her waist, pulling her back against him. Her eyes flutter closed when his soft lips capture hers again, hungry but hesitant. She can tell by his kiss that he’s not the most experienced, but he seems to learn from her quickly. His kisses are sweet, gentle with restraint.

Anika feels a rush of longing for him the longer they kiss. He’s different from anyone she’s kissed before. There’s something there, straining for more, even as he holds back. In fact, her hands are the first to roam. She lets her palm slide down from his neck, over his chest. She can feel muscle through the material of his baggy top, and she traces downwards to his toned stomach. _Woah…_

Matt’s tongue slips against her lower lip, capturing her full attention. She parts her lips, brushing against his tongue with her own. It’s like a switch flipping, his trepidation falls away as he presses into her mouth to taste her. She swirls the tip of her tongue around his, inviting him in further.

Anika feels a lurch in her belly, turned on when Matt’s hand finds her throat. He holds her softly, keeping her face tilted up to his. His thumb rests against her pulse, and Anika’s mind reminds her how Commander Ren’s leather glove had felt there.

A moan escapes her. She isn’t sure if it’s from the thought of the commander, or Matt deepening the kiss even more. Either way, his mouth pulls her from the memory of the commander. Her thoughts are hazy as she clings onto Matt, fighting to balance on her tiptoes against his tall body.

She likes that he isn’t rushing past this, that he isn’t cutting their kiss short. Other men would already be fighting to pull her clothes off, but Matt lingers at her mouth, content with her lips.

 _I want him… I want all of him…_ Anika breaks away from his mouth to nuzzle under his jaw, kissing his neck. His skin is hot against her lips, the pale flesh tinged with blush that disappears under his collar. She likes listening to his breath catching, the little noises he traps in his throat as she covers his skin with her affections.

Anika tugs at his shirt, fumbling with halfhearted attention at the buttons before giving up. She sucks gently on his earlobe instead, a hand falling to the button of his pants. _I wonder if he’ll let me…_ Her mind is filled with her desire, picturing what she can do if Matt lets her undo his pants.

She’s distracted by the sudden, loud rumble. She pulls away in alarm, looking around the supply room as the shelves lining the periphery tremble. A box topples from where it was sitting near the edge, spilling plastic meal cards all over the floor when it lands. As soon as it started, the shaking stops.

“What the fuck…” Anika mutters, taken aback.

Matt doesn’t even seem to care. “It’s just a quake…” he mumbles, distracted sounding. “A fluctuation in the weapon’s magnetic field…”

“Is that what causes those?” Anika asks. She had just assumed the planet was prone to seismic activity, but could it be the weapon they’d built on it that was to blame?

Matt doesn’t seem like he wants to humor her curiosity, pulling her face back to his impatiently. A moment later, and she forgets what she was curious about anyway. He’s growing more confident by the second, his tongue darting between her lips to tease hers.

But his hands are now both confined to her waist, settled there as if he’s unsure he should explore more. _Touch me, touch me anywhere. Touch me everywhere, fuck…._

She moans when he dares to nip at her lip with his teeth, and then it’s like he heard her thoughts. Matt’s hands drift slowly, roving down over her hips. His grip drags against the fabric of her pants, drifting back up to lift the bottom of her shirt. _Yes…_

Unfortunately, Matt freezes when the shaking starts again. It’s different this time, the floor rocking underneath them. It’s stronger than before, she can actually hear it now. A noise like something roaring towards them.

“That actually is a quake,” Matt says, voice surprised. Anika pulls away to search his face, but he doesn’t meet her eyes. He looks alarmed, entirely focused on the noise that is growing louder. The floor shakes harder, and Anika reaches out to grab onto Matt’s arms for balance. The planet beneath their base sounds like it’s trying to rip itself into pieces.


	7. Ch. 7

“Is this bad!?” Anika exclaims, concerned. The shaking grows move violent, the walls around them groaning as the entire base is contorted in harsh vibrations. She’s never experienced one like this before, unsure if she should be fearful or not.

“Get down!”

Matt squashes her to the ground, his body covering hers and pushing her down beneath him. The full force of the planet’s energy hits them, and Anika cries out in fear. She tries to look up, but Matt grabs her head, forcing it down under his chest.

One of the shelving units lets go, the fastening to the wall failing. The shelves tumble, the contents falling around them in a chaotic shower of boxes and supplies. Nothing strikes her where she’s sheltered under him. _Good thing he’s the size of a small shed…_ She can barely hear herself think over the rumbling.

It’s only a moment before the other shelves follow suit. Anika hears Matt grunt sharply when one of the freed metal panels collides with him, before clattering to the floor. She winces with concern for him, hoping he isn’t hurt.

When the shaking finally abates, they’re surrounded by a messy pile of supplies and collapsed shelves. Matt lets her up, lifting his weight up from where he was practically smashing her into the ground.

“Are you okay?” she asks immediately, twisting around to survey his face. His glasses are askew, barely clinging onto his ears.

“I’m fine,” he insists, but his expression is tense. 

“I’ve never felt a quake that bad,” Anika mutters.

Matt grabs her hand, pulling her to her feet. “I need you to get to the nearest evac station.” He urges her towards the door, helping her step over the junk littering the floor.

“What!? Why?”

They emerge into the hallway, only to hear the sound of a distant alarm blaring. The emergency lights are flashing on the walls. Matt’s talking again, but her mind is racing over why the alarms are sounding. She never did bother to learn the different alarm sounds, and wouldn’t be able to tell a fire alarm from her alarm clock.

“If we need to evacuate, I want you-Anika!”

Anika is too distracted, looking around at the people stumbling out of rooms further down the hallway. Matt tugs her arm roughly, forcing her to focus back on him. 

“Look at me, now,” he orders. Her mouth falls open in surprise at his commanding tone, but it succeeds in making her listen. “Get to the nearest evac station. If the planet’s lost stability, I need you to be on the first shuttle out of the system. Do you understand?”

“Matt, what the-”

“Do you understand!?” he demands roughly.

Anika stares back into his brown eyes, now nearly hostile with determination. She nods. “Yes…”

“Good. Go.” Matt doesn’t spare another word, marching away from her and towards the command center. She waits only a moment before turning to head the other way, following his directions.

**Later**

Anika walks back to her quarters slowly, ruefully rubbing at her elbow. It’s quite sore, and likely going to be covered in a bruise in a few hours. She had been one of the first people to arrive at the evac station, but then a second, equally strong quake had hit.

Apparently, that was all it took for others to panic and draw the same conclusions that Matt had. People had swarmed to be close to the emergency shuttles in case evacuation was ordered. Once the large room filled, the ones left in the hall had begun trying to push their way in.

Luckily, she’d ran into Darial’s coworker, Jorran. He’d at least helped her stay upright, so she didn’t get trampled. But Anika can’t help but feel a bit perturbed. Why hadn’t Matt accompanied her to the evac station? _Where had he run off to?_

Whatever the problem was, they announced they had resolved it about an hour after the first quake. The announcement cut through the crowded evac station, diffusing the panicked energy as people began heading back to their workstations or quarters.

But Anika isn’t calming down, despite the reassurance from command that the base is perfectly safe. Rather, she has something stuck in her brain. If there had been a malfunction in the super weapon… that wasn’t something Matt should be working on. Only the most specialized of engineers worked on the weapon, not just any random technician… So where had he been headed? What was he hiding?

Anika hates it, but her suspicion of Matt grows. Why had he assumed the planet had lost stability, and might need to be evacuated? What did he know, to make him draw that conclusion? Was it possible the quakes had been caused by yet another act of sabotage?

Anika heaves a sigh as she finally reaches her hallway. She tries to stop her current train of thought, an uneasy feeling in her gut. But that train has already left the station.

 _Why wasn’t Matt’s device shown on the network in the hangar bay…? He said he was going there… Unless he deleted evidence off both the network and the access log…_ She shakes her head, not wanting to think that about Matt. _But…_

What did she really know about him? _He didn’t want to tell me where he transferred from… And he wouldn’t explain where he’d been, when he disappeared for days after the shuttle exploded…_

Anika stops in front of her door, sighing. Her attraction to Matt aside, she has to admit it. There is something odd going on with that man, and it doesn’t stop at his too-blonde hair.

She opens her door, shuffling into her room as she still rubs at her aching elbow. But she stops when the lights brighten to reveal her teddy bear, hanging from a bar on the light panel. Someone’s suspended Mr. Beary with a rope, and Anika’s eyes widen when she sees bright paint smeared in messy letters on the wall.

**_sniTches geT sTiTches_ **

_Wow… Is that supposed to intimidate me? Teddy bear violence. What a badass._

Anika crosses the room, rubbing her finger in the paint. It’s already dried on, and she groans. The First Order better not deduct from her paycheck for damage to her quarters. She has enough to be anxious about, without having to worry about a short check.

She sighs, plopping down onto her chair. _Snitches get stitches…that’s so corny and overused._ She takes out her datapad, using it to snap pictures of the bear and paint. But she hesitates on who to send them to. Someone knows she ratted out Patty, or at least that seems to be the most likely conclusion. Could she trust her new supervisor?

Anika sits the datapad down and groans with frustration. Apparently, whatever was going on here, didn’t end with a single saboteur. Whoever else was in on it was threatening her. This is so beyond anything she wanted to be involved in. She had been perfectly happy, repairing what needed repaired and collecting her salary.

She sighs with defeat, remembering Commander Ren’s words. _From now on, you come to me with your concerns._

This counted as a concern, right? At the very least, it suggested the problem was far from taken care of. Anika picks the datapad back up, beginning a message to Commander Ren and attaching the photos.

**Hi, Commander Ren. You said I should come to you with my concerns, so I felt I should show you what I found in my quarters this evening. My guess is this doesn’t end with Patty, something more is going on here. Whoever else is involved must know I told you, and left me that message on the wall. They clearly don’t understand rules of capitalization, because they just randomly capitalized the T’s and it’s going to drive me crazy. They didn’t even capitalize the beginning of the sentence, why capitalize the T’s?**

Anika stops typing when she realizes she’s gone completely off track. She sounds like a raving weirdo. She holds the screen, trying to highlight the text to delete it and start over. But a moment later, the “Message Sent” icon flashes on the screen.

_Kriff…_

Stupid datapad, the screen had been touchy and acting up ever since she dropped the thing in the sink. Anika sets it down, letting her face thud onto her little table. She can’t believe she sent a message that stupid to the Commander of the First Order. _I am perpetual humiliation, in human form…_

She considers messaging Matt, but doesn’t bother to reach for her device again. Common sense is telling her she might not be able to trust the man she’d just been locking lips with. There were too many unexplained questions she had about him and his whereabouts. And his hair.

Anika’s stomach gives a gurgle, and she realizes how hungry she is. She still hasn’t eaten dinner, and she had been starving hours ago when she got out of work. She decides to head to the cantina, or at least Starkiller Base’s sad version of a cantina. The food there is marginally better than the cafeteria, and she could use a drink after everything that’s happened.

She sorts through the tangled pile of clean clothes she’d dumped on top of the small dresser attached to the wall. Anika never was good with folding… or putting things away… She makes a face as she manages to extract a shirt and pants that match, something other than the uniform she’s tired of wearing for the day.

She changes her pants, before pulling the uniform top off over her head. It’s at that point that her door slides open, and she freezes, wide eyed, at Commander Ren striding into her quarters.

A moment too late, and he seems to realize what he’s walked into. “Shit.”

The sound of the commander swearing might actually be amusing to her, if she weren’t entirely mortified. Anika’s hands slap over her bra, and she turns away in time to see Ren doing the same. He spins around to face her door. Her face is bright red with a blush as she scrambles to find the neck hole of the clean top.

“I’m sorry, I should have knocked-”

“No, no, it’s fine, really-”

“That was rude of me to just barge in-”

“Really Sir, no worries!” Anika insists, mentally wishing for death. _Where’s the event horizon of a black hole when you need it?_

She turns back around when the top is covering her, tugging it down and fidgeting nervously. Commander Ren’s still facing the doorway, his black-clad back to her. She notes the way his head barely clears the top of the doorway.

“Um, I’m good, now,” she mumbles.

She sees his hand raise into the air, gesturing uncertainly. “You’re…decent?”

“Yes, I’m perfectly decent,” she reassures, cheeks scorching.

Ren turns around, and she stares at the mask. It stares back at her. _Oh kriff, not this again… Is he waiting for me to say something? Is he just thinking? Ugh. Why did he come here so fast? I only wanted to warn him…_ She fidgets anxiously, reminding herself that he could be listening to her thoughts.

The commander unfreezes finally, storming forward to examine the paint on the wall. She squeezes out of his way, shifting back towards the door of her quarters to try to leave space between them. But then the doorway darkens, blocked by a mass of black and metal, and she stops. One of his Knights is hovering there in the opening, and she’s unwilling to get any closer to him.

Anika has seen the Knights of Ren from a distance, but in person this one is downright menacing. If she thought Commander Ren’s mask was intimidating, then this one’s mask is from an actual nightmare. It looks like a black metal skull, but lacking a mouth. His armor is dented and scorched in places. As she stares at him, he tilts his helmet to the side, stepping through her doorway.

Anika quickly retreats back towards Commander Ren, nearly bumping into him. Her room is not big enough to have all of these terrifying, masked men crowding it.

“This paint is already dry,” Ren observes. “Likely it was done several hours ago.”

Anika tears her eyes away from the Knight to give her Commander a meek nod. “I was probably at work.”

“I’ll check security feeds, but I doubt we’ll find anything,” the commander muses, voice rumbling low.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Anika says quickly. She hadn’t meant to make her commander come investigate personally, and now feels stupid. “I’ll be fine, really Sir, I just thought you’d want to know-”

“Your room is clearly not secure,” Ren cuts her off harshly. “I’ll arrange high security accommodations for you on the executive level. Take tomorrow off work to move your things, the new quarters will be ready by morning.”

Anika’s mouth falls open as she stares at Commander Ren’s mask in shock. The executive level is where the highest officials have their quarters. It’s not a place for someone like her, a run of the mill technician. “That’s-That’s so nice of you, Commander,” she stutters out. “But you really don’t have to do that, I’ll be fine here.”

“Ap’lek will stay with you tonight,” Ren continues on, as if she hasn’t said anything. “He’ll make sure whoever did it, doesn’t get back into your room.”

Anika frowns, stomach sinking. “Who’s Ap’lek?”

Ren raises a hand to gesture back with his thumb, at the perfectly still Knight. Anika scrambles to try to refuse the offer.

“Oooh, um, I don’t think that’s necessary,” she stammers. _Like I’m going to be able to sleep tonight, with Murder Mountain hulking over me?_

“It is necessary. He’ll stay in the hall.”

Anika stops herself from huffing with disappointment at the commander’s decision, nodding instead. ‘Oh, okay… Well, I guess we’re going to become friends, right Ap’lek?”

She looks to the Knight, the oily cloak that covers his shoulders nearly filling the doorway. She puts a hopeful smile on her face.

Silence.

“Super…” she whispers faintly.

**Ten Minutes Later**

Commander Ren has stormed off, seeming to be in an even worse mood than he arrived in. She assumes he’s left the Knight to guard her, but she would rather not have to check. Unfortunately, she can’t just stay in her room all night. Anika can’t ignore her stomach growling anymore, she is absolutely starving.

She grabs her datapad to message Darial. It’s possible her fancy dinner date with General Hux was cancelled due to the quakes, she thinks. So she invites her to the cantina if she happens to be free, before working up the courage to step out into the hallway.

Ap’lek is standing there, his weapon held at the ready. Anika tries to avoid looking at the sharp blade on it, trying to meet his mask. But that isn’t much better, and she ends up looking nervously around the hallway instead.

“So, I’m really sorry for the inconvenience, but I haven’t really eaten since breakfast,” Anika begins. “I am going to get some dinner, before coming back here for the night.”

Silence.

“You can…come with? Or you can stay here? Whatever you prefer, really,” Anika tries to offer.

Silence. _Shocking. Is this even a guy? Or are the Knights of Ren droids with missing vocabulators…_

Anika huffs with irritation, giving the Knight an exaggerated shrug. “Okay, so I’m going to…go.”

She turns and starts down the hallway, a bit relieved when she doesn’t hear him following. Perhaps he’ll let her have some privacy, and just lurk around outside her door. That would be ideal, she thinks, turning around to look back at him. But Anika jumps when she sees he’s right behind her.

The man moves silently, nothing on him making a sound. Somehow, that makes him even creepier. Anika faces forward again with round eyes, obstinately focusing on getting to the cantina. She pretends she’s alone, until the alarmed glances of people passing her in the hall make it impossible.

_Nothing to see here, folks, just taking a walk with Murder Mountain…_

The cantina is pretty full when she arrives, as it’s late enough to be prime drinking hour. Anika has no problem reaching the bar, however, as people skitter out of her way. Ap’lek looms behind her like a homicidal shadow, and nobody wants to be within striking range of him.

She drops down at the bar, able to partially relax when the Knight takes up a position at the end of the row of stools, near the wall. Anika orders food and two drinks. She figures if Darial doesn’t show up, the second one can serve as some liquid courage to deal with the walk back to her quarters with Murder Mountain.

She eats her food quickly, finally satiating her hunger, before starting on a drink. She doesn’t make it halfway through it before the stool next to her is pulled out. Anika smiles with relief as Darial sits next to her.

“You made it!”

“The dinner was postponed,” Darial explains, leaning over the bar to shoot a curious glance towards Ap’lek. “Why is he in the cantina?” she asks in a low voice.

Anika shrugs, not wanting to explain just yet that she’s the cause for the Knight’s presence. She’d much rather focus on relaxing. “Long story. Here,” she says, sliding the second drink towards her friend.

But Darial just stares at the beverage, before shaking her head. “No, thank you.”

Anika blinks in confusion. “What?”

“I don’t want to drink,” Darial says, smiling. “Thank you, though.”

“…But you always have a drink with me when we come to the cantina,” Anika protests. Her brows crumple when she notices something is off with Darial. But she can’t quite place it, something just seems different in the way her friend is holding herself.

Darial only continues to smile, carefully pushing the glass back so it isn’t in front of her any longer. “I’m sorry?” she asks.

Anika narrows her eyes suspiciously. “Okay…” She picks up her glass, deciding to down as much of it as she can. She needs something to settle her nerves. She’s drinking quickly when Darial speaks again.

“Have you decided to have sexual intercourse with Commander Ren?” she asks, tone lightly conversational.

Anika chokes on a mouthful of the spirits, coughing suddenly at the question. She recovers, wiping the trail of liquid that has spilled down her chin, to give her an incredulous look. “What!?”

Darial looks confused, frowning. “I’m sorry, I just meant to ask if you'll be accepting his reproductive advances?”

Anika opens her mouth to reply, but can’t seem to find words. _What is up with her…_

“Commander Ren is so high up within the First Order, he’s very powerful. Surely that makes him appealing?” Darial presses earnestly.

“Why are you talking so weird?” Anika asks bluntly, her face growing disturbed looking. “And since when do you care about how powerful people are? Kriff, is that why you’re dating Hux? Because he’s high up?”

Darial frowns. “Of course not. I love Armitage.”

Anika sits the glass down with a sharp clink on the bar, staring at Darial like she’s grown three more heads. “Are you on drugs? Have you been chewing spice?”

“Is it too soon in the progression of a relationship to refer to love?” Darial questions with confusion.

Anika stands up, the bar stool giving a terrible screech as she pushes it back quickly. “I’m…I’m going to go. I can’t… deal with whatever…whatever the hell this is,” she says, alarmed. _Has someone scooped Darial’s brain out and scrambled it? What is wrong with her!?_

She doesn’t even know what to think about her friend’s sudden, bizarre behavior. Darial seems to realize she’s messed up, standing with a concerned face.

“I’m sorry, I’ve said something wrong,” she tries, reaching out to catch Anika’s arm.

“Yes, a lot of somethings,” Anika snaps, wiggling free. “You’re freaking me out.”

“I only meant to encourage you to get the D,” Darial says sadly.

“What the fuck!?” Anika spits out.

“You know? Acquire the copulatory organ?” her friend tries again.

If Anika stands there one second longer, her eyeballs are going to pop out of her skull and roll across the floor. She turns, fleeing the cantina as fast as she can.


	8. Ch. 8

_What was that… Why was Darial being so weird?_ Anika realizes she’s practically running back to her room, but she doesn’t slow down. She can’t shake the feeling like something was terribly wrong with Darial, though her friend had physically looked fine. But how she’d been talking was so very unlike her.

She stops when she gets to the door to her quarters, shuffling out of the way when Ap’lek catches her attention. He’s apparently had no trouble keeping up with her frantic escape from the cantina, looming right behind her. He steps by her to enter her quarters now.

Anika follows, speechless as the Knight of Ren checks her room and refresher. When no one jumps out to murder her or any innocent stuffed animals, he strides back to the exit. She watches him step back out into the hall, the door sliding closed behind him. _Good riddens, Murder Mountain…_

Alone, she thumps down onto the bed. _There has to be some explanation for how she was acting…_ Anika considers spice more seriously, or perhaps snuff. But Darial had always been very responsible, not the type of person to party it up with drugs. Frustrated, Anika grabs her datapad to message Jorran, inquiring if Darial was acting abnormal during her shift in the medbay. 

Anika has to fight the urge to message Commander Ren yet again as she waits for Jorran to reply. _What would I even say? My friend is acting weird? That’s hardly a problem I can bother the commander with… I can’t just annoy him every time something odd happens…_

She briefly considers Matt before making a face. She doesn’t want to message him, either. Not since her earlier suspicions that her fellow technician might be hiding quite a few secrets from her. Anika realizes she doesn’t have anyone else to go to. She doesn’t really have any other friends within the First Order. Having a problem she can’t run to Darial with only makes her feel so much more alone.

Her datapad dings, and Anika opens up the reply from Jorran. According to him, Darial had been acting fine at work.

 _Okay, so… I’ll just see if Darial is back to herself tomorrow. And if not, I’ll just…_ She groans, unable to complete the thought. What would she do?

Anika rolls over, smashing her face into the pillow. Right now, it seems like her tried and true approach to problem solving is going to be her answer for tonight. _Fuck this. I’m ignoring my problems and going to sleep._

**Morning**

Anika wakes up to three messages, and makes a face as she opens the first one. It’s from Darial.

**_I’m sorry if I seemed strange last night. Are you coming to breakfast this morning? Please give me a chance to explain._ **

Anika feels partially relieved. Darial sounds normal enough in the message, at least. She could use some caffa before moving her stuff into her new quarters, and hopefully Darial would explain everything over their usual Muja muffins. If her friend was herself again, and done inquiring about Commander Ren’s copulatory organ, Anika might even venture to get some advice from her regarding Matt.

She checks the second message, seeing it’s from, lo and behold, Matt.

**_I’ll be gone for a few days. Not dead._ **

Anika frowns, feeling torn. On one hand…It’s almost sweet of Matt to message her so she won’t worry. But on the other hand… He’s disappearing again, after the unexplained quakes. Is it possible they are another act of sabotage? But why sabotage the entire base, if the goal was just to eliminate Commander Ren?

Anika’s brow crumples as she considers just how little Matt had known about repairs. Perhaps his job as a technician was just a cover. _But a cover for what…_

The third message contains information on her new quarters on the executive level. Anika navigates away from her inbox, deciding to check her work schedule before jumping in the shower. She’d been assigned to clear Commander Ren’s shuttle for use today, before he’d told her to take the day off.

She lurches off her bed when she sees the shift has been removed from the schedule, along with a note in the system. Ren has overridden the need for equipment checks, and the shuttle is scheduled for a mission… today.

**Minutes Later**

Anika’s ran halfway to the hangar before she realizes the buttons on her shirt are off by one. She had gotten dressed in such a haste that she messed them up, but she doesn’t want to delay long enough to fix them. If she hurries, she can hopefully double check the navicomputer before the commander takes the shuttle.

 _Why didn’t I just tell him about the flight plan!? Ugh I hope he hasn’t left already._ She really doesn’t want to be blamed if there is a problem with the commander’s brand new shuttle.

Anika hurries into the bay, relieved to see the ship still sitting there. She rushes forward, climbing the loading ramp only to pause at the sound of the bay door opening again. She creeps backwards a step, leaning to peer around the edge of the metal hull.

General Hux strides into the room, an officer at his side. A small number of stormtroopers swarm in behind him, moving along the side of the bay to form a loosely huddled group. Hux turns around, speaking to someone coming through the door.

Anika freezes at the sight of Commander Ren entering the space, realizing immediately that his helmet isn’t on. It’s held in his hand, and for the briefest moment she can almost see his face. But then he turns, and all she can make out for sure is that his hair is dark. It’s as black as the suit he wears, and long, almost skimming his shoulders.

She gulps nervously, retreating into the shuttle and heading towards the cockpit. _Please don’t be mad at me Commander, I just need to make sure your ship is fine…_

The navigation computer takes forever to boot up, and she fidgets anxiously. There’s no way she’ll be able to sneak back out of the hangar, so she’s going to have to explain herself. _Why is this thing taking so long to start up…_ She just updated the system, it’s a brand new processor… It shouldn’t be taking this long.

 _Come on, come on…_ Anika fights the urge to slap her hand into the screen, shooting nervous glances back towards the loading ramp. The computer finally turns on, and she swears aloud when she sees the random flight plan is back. _What the…_

Anika straightens, frowning. She’s going to have to tell Ren that he can’t take the shuttle, at least not until they can figure out what the bug is in the system. She turns to leave the cockpit, stepping through the hatch. But she stops there, at the sight of the Commander standing in the hold.

She almost feels a twinge of regret at the realization he’s put his helmet on once more, his face hidden before she got a chance to see it. But then she notices his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Commander Ren looks furious, and he takes a step closer as she blinks at him. 

_I can’t tell him the truth, that will just piss him off more…_ Anika hates herself right about now. The past version of her, that had neglected to warn the commander that something was off with his ship, is a real jerk.

“Um,” Anika stutters. “I can explain.”

“Please. Do,” Ren growls.

“I saw you were taking the shuttle on a mission, and I just wanted to…to…” she trails off when she can visibly see his chest heaving, the muscles of his arms clenching, even through the heavy material of his suit. _Holy boma beast, I’m going to die…_

He looms closer, and Commander Ren has never intimidated her this much before. She can feel his rage, and it somehow makes him appear even more terrifyingly large. Anika struggles to pull in her breath, but it’s like Ren’s temper has sucked the oxygen from the room.

“You wanted to what?” he prompts her. “Sabotage it first?”

Her eyes widen in horror at the accusation. “What!? NO, Sir!”

One large step and he’s upon her, his large hand curling around her throat and pulling her closer. Anika stumbles in his grasp, rising up on her tiptoes and fighting the urge to claw at his wrist. Resisting would do absolutely no good, and she tries to comply as he forces her to come within inches of his mask.

“It would be so clever of you,” Ren breathes, voice a low rumble. “I’d be so distracted with your lust, your foolish little urges…Why would I look beyond the arousal in your body to see anything else? Clever…It’s you, isn’t it?”

Anika shakes her head frantically, before fighting to form words. _You’re giving me entirely too much credit, I really am just a horny idiot._ “No, Sir, I swear to you, that’s not it! Please, I needed to check because there was an unauthorized flight plan in the nav computer!”

Commander Ren is silent for a moment, before the leather around her throat relaxes slightly. “Continue,” he snaps.

“Yesterday, I noticed it and cleared it out. I was going to double check the system today to make sure that fixed it, but you cancelled my shift,” she babbles quickly, nearly incoherent. “But then I saw you’re taking it on a mission. And I just needed to make sure it was gone, because I didn’t want you to take the ship if there was anything wrong with it!”

“And did that fix it?” Ren prompts coolly.

Anika shakes her head. “No, Sir, it was still in the computer when I rebooted it.”

His hand drops from her neck. She tries to settle her nerves as the commander steps into the cockpit, entering his credentials into the computer. A moment later, a noise of irritation filters through the mask. He steps back through the hatch, jerking a thumb towards the navigation station.

“Do you have any idea why a brand new navicomputer would have that kind of error, technician?” he demands.

She licks her lips, reluctant to say the word. “Um…” _Sabotage…_

No sooner has the word formed in her thoughts, than the main hatch slams closed. Ren’s head whirls towards the noise, and he storms towards the now sealed exit. Anika watches him attempt to pry it open with alarm, only to jump when the hatch behind her follows suit.

There is a mechanical sound as the door to the cockpit locks itself closed. They are now stuck in the shuttle’s main hold, locked out from the hangar and cockpit alike. Ren’s head slowly turns towards her as the ship begins vibrating, the engines starting up. _Oh, fuck…_

“Move!” he orders, stomping back towards the cockpit. She jumps out of his way so he can approach the door, attempting to force it open to gain access.

The engines lurch to life, and Anika fumbles to stay on her feet as the ship moves suddenly. She grabs onto a hand hold on the metal wall, mind panicking. Her alarm only grows when Ren pulls out his lightsaber, the red beam crackling to life in the small space. Anika pulls herself back farther, staring with fear at the notorious weapon.

Her grip on the handle tightens as they pick up speed, and she realizes they must have left the hangar behind. Where are they going? She hadn’t even bothered to look up what the coordinates led to on the flight plan, she has no idea… But whatever the problem is, it is a lot worse than what she had initially noticed. The ship is on full auto-pilot, meaning that system must be hacked as well.

Commander Ren bashes the hatch, rewarded when the broken, sparking door finally slides open to grant them access to the cockpit. The window greets them with a view of the black expanse of space, stretching ahead of the ship. 

The commander throws himself at the controls, only to snarl in frustration a second later. “I can’t disable auto pilot, I’m locked out,” he snaps.

Anika’s ears prick to the sound of the hyperdrive initiating, and a moment later she is nearly thrown down when they jump to lightspeed. The ship stabilizes as the blur of hyperspace fills the view, and she’s able to find her footing again.

Ren moves from where he was holding on to the pilot’s seat for balance, approaching the navigation computer. “Can you bypass the login credentials?” he asks. “It’s locked me out of everything.”

Anika nods. “I can, but-but that won’t do any good, if we’re stuck on autopilot. It’s going to complete the set course-”

“I need control of my ship back,” Ren growls. “Can you get me that?”

She shakes her head, still clinging onto the handle despite the fact that their flight is now smooth. _This…this can’t be happening. Where are we even going? A black hole? A hypergiant? The unknown regions? Kriff, this is all my fault… This can’t be happening…_

“Anika.”

She’s pulled from her thoughts by the way the Commander’s tone has changed. It’s somehow softer, despite the harsh vocabulator of the helmet. She focuses on him, on the black space where Ren’s eyes lurk behind his mask.

“This is happening, and I need your help,” he tries again, his tone suggesting forced patience. “I need control of the ship. How do we accomplish that?”

“Well…I can break the autopiloting system, but that will trigger a reboot if done while it’s in use,” Anika suggests tentatively. “We probably don’t want to try that while in hyperspace.”

“Will it reboot to default manual piloting?” Ren questions.

She nods. “Yes, Sir.”

“Then get ready. As soon as we drop from lightspeed, I want you to try it.”

**Not Much Later**

Anika wakes up with a groan, her head burning and aching. She blinks, her eyes focusing on the metal ceiling of the ship’s main hold. The lights up there are flickering erratically, and it only makes her headache worse. She winces her eyelids back closed, confusion taking over her thoughts. Why is she laying on the floor?

“Are you okay?”

Anika’s eyes snap back open at Commander Ren’s voice, and she turns her head to see him kneeling beside her. His hand is stretched out, but he slowly retracts it to his side.

“What happened?” she asks, shifting uncomfortably. One of the bolts from the floor is digging into her back, and she pushes herself up into a seated position. She feels woozy for a moment before recovering.

“I thought you might have been seriously injured, but you seem to be fine,” Ren explains slowly. “I think you just passed out during the crash.”

_Crash…!?_

Anika’s head throbs, her memories resurfacing in a rush. They’d exited hyperspace and rebooted the ship, successfully getting control back. But something had gone wrong… They’d dropped from lightspeed too close to a planet, some unnamed globe of neon greens and brilliant blue. Despite Ren’s attempt at changing their course, they had been pulled in.

“What was that?” she asks, confused. “What made us crash?”

“The gravity in orbit was much stronger than it should have been. It dragged us in,” Ren answers, standing. “…Yet here on the surface, it seems typical for a planet this size.”

He extends a hand, and Anika hesitates for only a second before taking it. The commander helps her up, his free hand hovering behind her back for a moment as she wobbles on her feet. But the dizziness is retreating, despite the throb in her head. Did she bump it when she passed out?

“…That sounds unnatural,” she comments.

_If the gravitational pull was strong enough to overpower our engines, we shouldn’t even be standing right now… This makes no sense._

Ren’s mask inclines in a slight nod. “I agree. It would appear our course here was designed for us to crash land on whatever this world is.”

“I’ve read about theoretical gravity well weapons…Something like that could be to blame, but…” Anika looks away from the commander, realizing his words imply he doesn’t know their location either. “You don’t know where we are?”

“No. We won’t be able to get into the navicomputer until we restore full power,” Ren explains. “The ship suffered some damage during the crash, only life support systems are running. Not that it will do us any good.”

“What do you mean?” she asks quickly. The longer she’s conscious, the more her sense of dread is growing. _Can’t he have any good news to share!?_

“We can’t get a signal out, I’ve already tried. Something is blocking emergency transmissions,” Ren answers.

“How long have I been passed out!?” Anika asks. 

“A few minutes. I was about to help you regain consciousness, when you came to on your own.”

“Did you check the relay system!?” she presses, mind jumping quickly between thoughts.

“Not yet.”

She darts by Commander Ren, headed into the communications room, mind a flurry of panic and attempts at problem solving. The relay system looks fine upon inspection, and she turns to see Ren watching her conclude her investigation from the hatch.

“I don’t understand why our emergency call isn’t getting sent,” Anika mutters. “The system seems fine…”

“Perhaps whoever wanted us to crash, also didn’t want us to be rescued,” Ren suggests.

Anika drags her eyes away from the commander, focusing on the metal floor between them. _This can’t be happening…_ Her chest feels tight, the familiar feeling that warns her when one of her bouts of anxiety is about to paralyze her lungs. _This isn’t… I can’t…Nope nope…Nope…_

“Anika, I need you to remain calm,” Commander Ren orders quietly.

“…Nope…Nope,” she mutters, shaking her head. _I am NOT stuck on some backwater planet with a broken ship and a grumpy Commander Ren, NOPE!_

“Denial isn’t going to help,” he retorts, as if reading her thoughts.

 _But denial and sleep are my favorite coping mechanisms. Nope, nope, nope…_ Anika vaguely realizes that she’s flirting with hysterics, her heart racing like it can run away from the situation. Commander Ren’s chest heaves with a buzz from the mask, suggesting he’s sighed.

She stiffens as he comes forward, capturing her shoulders in a firm grip. Her gaze flickers over the mask, unsure where to focus. When Ren speaks again, it’s slowly and deliberately, as if he is holding back irritation.

“You _are_ stuck on some backwater planet. Our ship _is_ broken. But I will be considerably less grumpy if you stop loudly chanting ‘Nope’ in your head.”


	9. Ch. 9

Anika can feel her lower lip jut out in a childish pout, but nods anyway. “Okay,” she whispers meekly. She forces herself to focus, to resort to approaching the disaster with logic rather than blind panic. “I can do a diagnostic check, identify which systems need repaired…”

“That does us no good, if we try to leave and get hit with another gravitational field like the last,” Ren points out, dropping his hands from her shoulders.

“True, but these are brand new engines,” Anika says, eyes widening with hope as she realizes something important. “They’re capped at 50% output! If we remove the safety constraints-”

“Why is my shuttle’s engine power limited!?” Ren demands, indignant. His hands curl into fists again as his agitation seems to return.

“It’s-It’s a safety parameter, it’s just the default protocol for any small shuttles with the new style engines-”

“No one told me,” he argues petulantly.

“Most pilots couldn’t handle the forces generated-”

“I’m not most pilots,” Ren growls.

“Okay, I’m sorry? I didn’t personally establish that safety protocol, Sir,” Anika insists. “But the point is, we can double the power. Would that help?”

He considers it, the tension easing out of his shoulders, before nodding once. “It should be enough to escape whatever generated the additional gravity. Do you think you can repair the damage?”

She frowns. “Well, it depends… I’m going to need to go outside to assess everything,” she admits, trepidation growing.

Is it even safe to go outside? What if they don’t have the necessary tools for what she needs to fix? Worse yet…what if a critical piece of equipment is broken? _Or what if a krayt dragon is waiting outside to eat me…_

Commander Ren squeezes by her to read one of the instrument panels. “Atmospheric sensors say the air is breathable,” he shares. “High levels of airborne particulates, probably pollen. There’s rebreathers if you are worried.”

“Right,” Anika says, trying to work up the motivation to head towards the exit. Should she take a weapon? _As if I would know what to do with one anyway…_

“Come,” Ren orders, leading her from the room. “We’ll check internal systems first.”

Anika accompanies him to the engine room, making note of the repairs needed there. It looks like something is damaged related to venting, and several critical pieces of equipment shut down on emergency measures rather than burn out. That should be easy enough to fix, if she can identify what caused the venting to fail in the first place.

She shares her observations with Ren before they head into the main hold. Anika is nervous to go outside, but straps one of the rebreathers to her belt in case she needs it. Ren doesn’t seem too concerned with taking one, dropping down to attempt to coax the lock on the exit hatch to release. When it doesn’t want to budge, he stands, lightsaber in hand.

Anika makes a noise, rushing forward. If he bashes the door to get it open, they’ll need to repair that as well before the shuttle can be space-worthy. _I’d rather not add things to the list…_

“With all due respect, Sir, can I try before you break it into pieces?” she ventures.

**Minutes Later**

Anika tries to focus on what she’s doing, the tiny tool barely fitting into the locking mechanism. She’s kneeling on the ground, trying to get the lock to release without damaging anything. But Ren is breathing right behind her, hovering over her as she works with his impatience. All she can hear is each inhale and exhale through the mask.

_That helmet makes him sound like a Hutt breathing…_

“Is that so? Have you heard a lot of Hutts breathing?” Ren snaps.

Anika bites her lip, working faster in a bid to get the door open as quickly as possible to end this awkward conversation. “Um… well, no. I’m sorry, Sir.”

“We always seem to end up here, don’t we?” the commander taunts. But she hears him pacing away from her, giving her much needed space. “You apologizing for the inappropriate things you think?”

“I’m sorry for always having to say sorry, Sir,” she says, turning around to give him a properly apologetic look. _I need to think less annoying thoughts, otherwise he’s going to leave my ass on this planet…_

The commander stares at her from across the hold, dark mask giving away no clues as to his current mood. But when he speaks again, his voice drops into a dangerous tone. “Oh, don’t worry about that. I think I quite like the sight of you on your knees, asking for forgiveness.”

Her mouth falls open in shock, the tool sliding from her hand to clatter noisily onto the ground. Anika turns around, fumbling to pick it up. Her cheeks are hot as she tries to focus, ignoring the soft sound coming from behind her. _Is he… He’s laughing! Flipping laughing at me, like this is the funniest thing ever._

Her wounded pride overwhelms her common sense for just a moment. _Go ahead, chuckle it up, Hutt helmet._

The thought fills her brain before she can clamp down on it, and Ren’s laughter stops. “Watch it. I’d hate to have to delay our repairs, just for the chance to punish you,” he threatens.

He might as well have spoken to directly between her thighs, the reaction in her body is so immediate. Anika licks her lips nervously, trying to ignore the arousal now clamoring for attention. “Sorry, Sir…”

Her mind is struggling to interpret his threat of punishment, perverted suggestions wanting to pop up. _Not now, ugh…_ She tries to smother them all down, but Ren makes a noise regardless.

“As entertaining as your over-active imagination is, are we any closer to getting out of this ship?” he demands, drawing closer.

Anika makes a face, thinking that his taunting isn’t helping to speed things along. She’s about to give up and invite her superior to slice the door open. But she doesn’t need to, as one final twist of the tool seems to do the trick. It unclicks, the lock finally releasing.

“Got it!” she announces, standing and dusting her knees off. She hits the control pad, freezing in place as the door slides up. The sight outside is bizarre.

The sky is a pale yellow, but it’s nearly blocked by the overgrowth of life around them. They’ve crashed in some kind of strange, alien forest. Commander Ren starts down the ramp, and Anika trails slowly behind. All around them, unique plants are stretching up well overhead, the dark dirt covered in smaller growths.

The vegetation is an assortment of colors, most bright green, but some blue or even deep purple. If she looks for long enough, Anika can spot every color of the rainbow. The sunlight glitters off the giant petals and tubes that it strikes, refracting into odd patterns. The plants are all in odd shapes, nothing looks like the trees or shrubs she’s seen on other worlds. Rather they are surrounded with large, tapering spikes, or gigantic funnels that open up to the sky.

“Where…are we…” she muses, following Ren as he steps down onto the dirt. Nothing surges up from the planet to eat him, so she figures it’s safe enough for her.

“I have no idea,” Ren replies. “Stay close to me. We don’t know what sort of apex predators might live here.”

Anika nods, her gaze darting around as she considers that. The nearest plant is moving, and she peers a little bit closer curiously. It’s tall, nearly twice her height. The top of it is a vivid orange color, dome shaped and perched upon a meaty stalk. The underside is fluttering, dark pleats vibrating in the air.

“Are those…” she trails off, searching for the right word.

Ren seems to be examining it as well, his mask tilted up towards the structure. “Gills,” he supplies. “I believe this is all fungal growth.”

Anika wrinkles up her nose. “Like…mushrooms?”

“Exactly like mushrooms. That’s probably what the sensors were detecting,” Ren answers. “Fungal spores.”

“Oh,” Anika remarks. “I’m glad we’re just breathing in tiny, tiny mushroom babies…”

“If it causes an allergic reaction, we’ll have to use the rebreathers,” Ren says, shrugging one of his giant shoulders.

“Right,” she agrees weakly, commencing checking the exterior of the shuttle. She tries to ignore the banging in her head, focusing on making sure the hull is intact. The commander’s nonchalance about the situation is not reassuring, and she really regrets not getting any morning caffa before this horrible experience started. 

When Anika moves around to the rear of the ship, she’s able to see through the fungal forest that surrounds them a bit more. They’ve damaged some of the life forms with their descent, scooping a trail out of the growth that she now cranes her neck to look down.

There in the distance, amidst a cluster of overgrown blue fronds, she spots what looks to be another ship. “Do you see that?” she asks Ren.

He pauses near her, mask fixating on the ship in the distance. “Yes. Likely we aren’t the only ship that has crashed here.”

There is quite a bit of damage to the hull from the crash, but nothing that looks too terrible. That is, until her eyes land on the external part of the alluvial dampeners. They’re completely missing, apparently sheered away from the ship during the rough landing.

“Well, Sir. Unless we want ion emission to back up in the hyperdrive and fry it, we aren’t going anywhere,” Anika sighs. “We need to install new dampeners, and that’s not a standard repair part included in a shuttle.”

Commander Ren is silent, and Anika feels herself tensing up as she waits for his response. Surely, he’s about to throw one of his infamous temper tantrums? She’s just told him there’s no way for them to get off this planet.

Anika turns slowly, hoping he isn’t a moment away from taking his anger out on her. She’s surprised to see he appears calm, his mask still turned towards the ship in the distance.

“Could you retrofit scavenged dampeners from another ship?” he asks.

 _Kriff, why didn’t I think of that? Duh._ “Yes, if they’re the right model! I’m sorry, I should have suggested that myself,” Anika confirms.

The commander makes a small, dismissive motion with his hand. “It’s alright. These aren’t your typical work conditions.”

His tone surprises her, something comforting leaking through the vocabulator. She searches the mask, wishing she could see Ren’s face. Would she see kindness there, like she heard in his words? _He did send me a teddy bear when I was hurt… And chocolates when I lost someone…_

Anika feels nervous, but that is hardly unusual. She’s always nervous around the commander, always a babbling mess of a subordinate. But this time, it’s not due to his fearful presence. Rather, she finds herself wondering… _Is there a soft side to Commander Ren? Would he show it to me?_

The thought of being treated with tenderness from a man most people feared would murder them…It sends an entirely different kind of thrill racing through her. The mask, the gloves, the head to toe black had always intrigued her for how terrifying it made him seem. But Anika finds herself more interested in what’s beneath all that, rather than the scary persona.

Ren shifts suddenly, moving away from her. _I’m always forgetting he can read my thoughts… Shit…_

“Let’s check the wreckage,” he suggests.

**Later**

The ship they spotted from their crash site ends up being much farther than Anika thought. They’ve been walking for a while, and the humid air is beginning to get to her. She longs to take off the stiff uniform shirt, made even more uncomfortable by the fact that it’s damp with sweat. Even her undershirt is soaked. But she doesn’t dare to parade around a bunch of mushrooms in her bra.

She shouldn’t feel this overheated, she thinks. The humidity might be overbearing, but the temperature itself isn’t hot enough that she should feel so flushed. Anika tries to focus, traipsing along behind Commander Ren. He’s weaving through the stalks of the fungi, leading them closer to the ship.

The growth is getting denser the farther they get from their own crashed ship. Anika’s also picking up on strange noises from the environment around them. Buzzes and creaks, chirps and something like sandpaper scraping. But she can’t see any animals moving, her vision obscured with thick blue fronds that flutter in the damp air.

“Watch your step,” Ren orders.

Anika looks down at her feet in time to see the ground slope sharply downwards, and when she looks back up, metal meets her eyes. They’ve arrived at the wreckage.

“This has been here a while,” the commander observes, trailing along the side of the ship.

Anika follows, spotting some markings as they approach the back. “Looks like a cargo vessel,” she mentions, frowning. _Cargo ships probably won’t have the parts we need…_

They reach the engine exhaust, and she squints to try to see. She has to stand on her tiptoes, craning her head before she can make it out. Anika sighs when her thoughts are confirmed. The dampeners are entirely the wrong size and specification for their own shuttle.

“I don’t think I can make those work. We need something that can handle those engines when we crank up the output,” she muses.

Ren’s rounded the rear of the ship, however, and she trails after him. He raises an arm, pointing out further into the jungle. She narrows her eyes, trying to make out what he’s seeing.

“I believe it’s another crash site,” the commander explains, cocking his head. “It looks like the jungle is growing over something large and metallic.”

Anika kind of sees the shape he’s referring to, though his eyesight must clearly be better than hers. “This planet might be littered with ships,” she replies thoughtfully. “Which I guess is good for us? It’s just a matter of finding the right one, and hoping the dampeners are in good shape.”

“We can use the ground sensors on our shuttle to scan for wreckage. They should be able to estimate size and shape of the crashed ships, so we can target the best candidates,” Ren answers.

Anika nods, agreeing with his logic. But part of her wants to push onwards now, to check the site he’s identified. “Why don’t we just check that one, though? We’re already over here,” she points out.

“Haven’t you noticed the light getting low?”

She frowns, looking up. The sky has turned a burnt orange shade, rather than the dusty yellow when they’d first emerged from the ship.

“Oh…” _That would explain why I was having to squint._

“We should head back before night sets,” Ren suggests.

She nods eagerly, noticing the sounds around them are growing louder.

**Nightfall**

It’s almost too dark to see by the time they make it back to their shuttle, the sky tinted red as night takes over the planet. Though the air has cooled down, Anika still feels like her skin is too warm. She attempts to roll up her sleeves as they approach the ramp.

Something large flickers out of the corner of her vision, distracting her. She searches the periphery of the area, able to focus on it when it flashes once again. Whatever it is, it blinks intermittently. A second flash comes from deeper into the jungle, almost like it’s responding to the first.

“What are those…?” she wonders aloud, hesitating at the bottom of the ramp.

“Does it matter? Night isn't the time to explore a strange world,” Ren remarks, starting up the ramp.

Anika frowns, curious about the lights, but follows him. For all she knows, it might be a trap. _Probably some giant alien, using flashing lights to lure in unsuspecting dumbasses. Like me._ She enters the shuttle after Ren, deciding she’d better stay close to him and his weapon.

The entire planet is making her feel suspicious. Something about the weird life forms, the creepy noises, even how they ended up crashing there… Anika feels paranoia, like they’re in a trap she hasn’t fully figured out yet. _I can’t wait to leave this place. This planet blows._

Unfortunately, it looks like the lights have failed in the main hold. It’s pitch black inside, and she only knows Ren has shut the hatch by the sound it makes. The closed door might protect them from anything lurking outside, but it also seems to cut down on air flow. Anika notices immediately, missing the cooler air from outside.

She squints in the dark, unable to make out where the commander is. “You can’t…um…see in the dark, can you?” she asks curiously.

“…No, why?” he replies after a moment, sounding suspicious.

“I’m just really overheated, but I didn’t want to… um… make things awkward,” Anika explains.

“Oh.”

She considers that announcing such a thing probably made it more awkward than if she’d just been discreet. But she doesn’t care, happily unbuttoning the uniform top and stripping it off. Her skin feels better immediately. The clothing from base was designed to trap heat, insulating against the chilly air on the cold planet. But here, that design had made her skin feel like it was suffocating. The undershirt isn’t nearly as oppressive, thankfully.

Anika isn’t quite tired yet, her mind still working over what they need to accomplish to get off the planet. But she dreads that she’ll eventually need to sleep. The shuttle isn’t designed for long flights, neglecting to include a dormitory of any kind. They’ll be stuck on the floor.

She furrows her brow when she hears him shuffling through one of the storage bins that’s fastened to the wall. A moment later and his lightsaber hisses to life, casting a flickering red glow about the hold. He searches for another moment, using the light of his weapon.

“Here,” Ren turns, handing her a blanket and flashlight. “Conserve the flashlight batteries as much as possible. We don’t know how long we’ll be here.”

She nods, but he turns off the lightsaber quickly and she realizes he probably didn’t see the motion. “Thank you,” she adds awkwardly.

Anika doesn’t think she’ll need the blanket, but she can use it folded up as a pillow. _The row of seats might be long enough to lay down on… And more comfortable than the floor._

“Is it okay if I lay on the seats? I don’t know if you wanted to sleep there-” she begins, trying to be considerate. But Ren cuts her off quickly.

“Go ahead. I’m not sleeping.”

“What!? Why not?” Anika asks, taken aback.

“I’m not sure if I can trust you,” Ren replies evenly. “It’s still possible you are the one who sabotaged this shuttle in the first place.”

 _…You have got to be kidding me._ Anika drops the blanket to stare into the darkness, narrowing her eyes uselessly. If she can’t see Ren, then he can’t see her glare. But she makes the face anyway, discontent that he’s suspicious of her. They need to be able to trust each other to work together, that much she’s sure of.

“Why would I sabotage your ship, and then stick around to be trapped on it when it all goes to hell!?” she asks, frustrated.

“I’m accusing you of being a saboteur, not a _good_ saboteur,” Ren growls lowly.

Anika rolls her eyes with a huff. “Can’t you just, like, shove into my head and see that I didn’t do it? _Sir?_ ” she pushes, her heart speeding up when she hears the attitude filling her voice.

She shouldn’t speak like that to him, not unless she’s asking for a harsh reprimand. But she’s so damn annoyed, and too _warm_ , and whatever tiny bit of a filter she’d had is gone.

“I could,” Ren hisses. “But I haven’t.”

“Why not?” Surely that could resolve this issue? _What’s stopping you from poking around in my skull to find the truth?_

Commander Ren is silent for several long moments, before he finally answers. He speaks almost too low for her to hear, despite there only being a few feet of space between them. “…I don’t know…”

Anika’s eyes scan her black surroundings, wishing she could see him. She can’t read his mood at all, can’t tell if that quiet answer was threatening or uncertain. For a moment, she thinks about flipping on her flashlight. But what good would that do, while he still hid under the mask?

“Just do it,” she breathes. “Just look in my head so we can move on.”

Her commander is quiet again, her anxiety building every second he doesn’t answer her. She clenches her hands, trying to stop them from trembling. _Surely, it isn’t that bad, right?_ Yet she’d heard rumors about what Ren could do, when he was in someone’s mind… _Please don’t hurt me…_

“Fine,” Ren finally snaps. “But remember you asked for this.”

Anika frowns, waiting in suspense. When it happens, she is barely aware at first. But then her mind feels like it’s been pulled sharply, and nausea rises at the bizarre sensation. It’s like her body is interpreting what’s happening in her thoughts as actual movement, triggering vertigo. She staggers back a step to brace against the wall.

Ren’s yanking her into her memories, forcing her to replay them. There’s that morning… waking up, seeing his flight scheduled. Rushing to the hangar. Checking the navicomputer. Then her thoughts lurch again, and Anika’s remembering working on his shuttle. Installing new equipment, updating it. Admiring the new engines, echoes of relief that Commander Ren isn’t showing up to watch her work. He spins through her shifts, not finding anything. _See, I told you…_

Anika pants, overwhelmed at how quickly Ren shuffles through her mind. Days backwards, and he’s pinning her against the table in the meeting room. His hand in her hair, forcing her to face him. The arousal replays in her body, nerve endings tense with excitement. _Wait, stop…_

But Ren doesn’t stop, he pursues that sensation. Tracks it backwards through time, connecting it with even older memories that lurk in her brain.

He stumbles over the memories of her fantasies of him. They blur together as Ren doesn’t seem to be able to sort them out, they’re all a tangled mess. She’s played them out in so many ways, her imagination carrying itself away as she dreamed of her commander dominating her, taking her-

_No! Not those, no, wait-_

It’s a messy onslaught. Flashes of desire, images that flicker and fade, all of them living inside her brain. But her body responds like it’s real, hot with need as he drags her back through the recollection. He seems to detect it, focusing in on her body, on how thoughts of him affected her-

_Fuck! Please, stop!_

Ren retreats from her mind so suddenly, she would fall over if it weren’t for the wall in back of her. Anika plants her palms on the metal, trying to take deep breaths. Her heart is racing, but she can feel the steady floor beneath her once more. Having him in her mind was disorienting, and embarrassing. _Why did I tell him to do that…_

The commander is silent, she can barely even hear him breathing. For one long moment, she has the delirious thought that he’s left her alone in the ship without her noticing.

“C-Commander?” she ventures hesitantly.

Anika’s eyes widen, desperately trying to see despite the lack of light, when she hears a strange sound. It sounds like something mechanical unlatching. She jerks when something heavy thuds onto the floor. _What the…? What was that?_

Her breathing catches when she hears him take a step, and she realizes Ren is now right in front of her. “Sir…?” she exhales nervously.

She freezes when his fingers trace down her cheek. Ren finds her chin in the dark, gripping to turn her face up. Anika feels like she can barely breathe, uncertain what to make of this situation. Is he mad at what he found? Annoyed? Or is he going to taunt her, and make her apologize again?

Her heart might as well stop when she feels his breath ghost across her skin. It’s warm, and that is the only clue she needs to realize he’s taken the helmet off. She’s been close enough to Ren to feel his breath against her face before, but it had been cool, filtered through the mask. The sensation this time is so much softer…

The leather of his glove slides, tracing to her neck. His thumb strokes her cheek once, slowly. Has she forgotten how to breathe? Anika feels like she’s been holding the same lungful of air, paralyzed, for an eternity. But then Commander Ren’s hungry lips meet hers, and the neediness of his kiss steals the oxygen from her lungs, too. She’s breathless, kissing him back immediately. _Who needs air, anyway?_


	10. Ch. 10

He kisses her aggressively, invading her mouth with his tongue, his hand wrapping around the back of her head to hold her close. Anika’s surprise fades, giving way to fervor. It’s all she can do to yield to him, to try to match his motions even as he devours her lips. Her own eagerness surprises her. How can she be so turned on by a man, without even knowing what he looks like?

She raises a hand, searching out the commander's hair. She’d seen it earlier in the hangar, black and messy, and wants to feel it. When she finds it, she tangles her fingers in the strands, finding some strange pleasure in knowing at least that part of him. But her touch skims lower, longing to feel a single feature of the face she’s reaching up to kiss.

Ren growls, and her hands are both flung backwards against the wall. Anika pulls away from his mouth, gasping with surprise at the abrupt interruption. She tries to pull free, only to find he’s pinned her forearms there with the force. Her belly lurches with nerves, equal parts arousal and fear, as Ren claims her mouth once more.

He nips at her lip, and the sharp moment of pain makes a strangled noise leave her throat. The commander just presses his broad body against hers, smashing her into the wall. His hands roam her, lips demanding more from her, their noses clashing messily. She battles to capture his lower lip, sucking on it hungrily.

Something about his kissing is sparking lust in her like she’s never felt before. He’s consuming, without patience or hesitation. She sinks her teeth into his lip, and Ren snarls in response. She’s never kissed someone like this before, never had her arousal turn into something so close to violence. _It’s so different from…_

“Matt,” she gasps, horrified. The thought of him makes her stomach sink, picturing his warm eyes and cute face. She feels guilty immediately. _What… what am I doing!?_

At the sound of another’s name exiting her mouth, Ren steps back from her. Her wrists are released, the force disappearing to drop her hands free.

“I-I’m sorry,” she stutters out. “I-There’s someone-I don’t know…”

He says nothing, and she struggles to catch her breath, wishing he’d speak. Her lips feel swollen, nearly raw from his passion. Should she say more? She isn’t even sure that she and Matt are a thing. Maybe she’s stupid for stopping him, over another man that she’d only kissed.

She opens her mouth, fighting for words to explain herself. To explain that she isn’t necessarily taken, but that she hadn’t ever meant to do this, either. That this sudden violent lust had taken her by surprise, that she feels dizzy and feverish and-

It doesn’t matter. The hatch slams closed, signaling that Commander Ren has left the shuttle.

**Later**

_…Is he coming back? He has to come back! He’s not getting off this planet if he doesn’t come back…Where the hell has he gone!? Is he that pissed at me?_

Granted, she had just said another man’s name while kissing him. That was a serious no-no… Anika clicks her flashlight on, getting up off the seat she’s been sitting on for however long since the commander stormed out.

His helmet is nowhere to be seen, and neither is his lightsaber. _What if he finds another ship that works, and just takes off and leaves me here!?_

He wouldn’t do that, would he? Anika searches the storage bins, until she finds the one with blasters stored, clipped neatly into place. She frees one, having no idea how to use the thing. _How hard can it be? Point and shoot, right?_

She takes a deep breath, approaching the hatch. Then she stands there. Time stretches on, and she gets no closer to opening the door to the outside. _Can’t you just come back and spare me having to go out there… Damnit Ren…_

The longer she stands there, hesitating, the more she’d like to slap his helmet right off him for walking out… _Or bite his lip again…_ She could’ve explained, it really was a simple misunderstanding. …Or was it? Anika knows she likes Matt…doesn’t she? She has no idea what she was doing with Commander Ren… She’d never dared to let herself consider it seriously, until it was already happening.

“Ugh!” She slams her hand into the hatch control, if only to escape her own confusing thoughts.

The sounds of the planet at night immediately grow louder, some low-pitched crackling, gravelly sounds meeting her ears. There are distant calls, some high pitched, some sounding like far away screaming. _I fucking hate this fucking planet…_

Anika shines her flashlight on the ramp, descending slowly. Her other hand holds the blaster, fingers sweaty on the grip. Something makes a loud, cackling laugh of a noise close by, and she spasms with fear. Her hand slides on the blaster as she spins, directing the flashlight at the jungle life near the ramp.

“What the fuck was that…” she breathes, eyes wide with terror. But she sees nothing there, just the overgrown mushrooms and spiky cones. The ones with gills are all fluttering, moving rhythmically in the night air. _Why do I feel like the mushrooms are watching me?_

She searches with the dim beam of light a moment longer, but the terrifying, throaty cackle doesn’t happen again. _Ooooh, fuck fuck, fuckity fuck…_

“Commander Ren?” Anika calls out. _Can you maybe stop being an impossible fuck, and come back to the ship?_

Her voice came out weak, and she has to try again to project it better. “REN!? Are you out there?” she yells.

Something roars in the distance, and her mouth clamps shut. Fear makes her heart pound, her already clammy skin growing sweaty once more. _What if he’s dead? What if something’s out there, snacking down on Commander Ren’s bits and I’m alone here?_

Anika forces herself to continue down the ramp, but hesitates before she can step onto the dirt. “COMMANDER REN!” She shouts again. The chattering, buzzing, and chirping of the wilderness is her only response.

“Night time isn’t when you explore a strange world!” she rants, using a mocking tone of voice to recall his earlier words. “I’m Commander Ren, and I’m OFF EXPLORING A STRANGE WORLD AT NIGHT TIME!”

Anika scans the surrounding forest with the light, wishing it would all just shut up for a minute. She’s so on edge, she’s nearing panic, and it’s ridiculously noisy. Her flashlight falls on something insanely large, her eyes fixating to try to discern details. It’s got a massive shell on its back, and is moving slowly. She can’t quite make it out between the stalks, but she raises the blaster preemptively.

“Ren…?” she calls one last time. “Ren, Sir, get your giant, moody ass back here, please!?” She’s dreading the thought of having to venture away from the ship to look for him. Foolishly, she thinks if she just insults him enough, maybe he’ll appear.

The shelled creature crawls within the beam of light, and she sees large, curling appendages waving from beneath the shell.

“What the fuck is that…” Anika mutters weakly, finger tightening on the trigger.

“Are you going to shoot a snail?”

She screams, whirling at the voice right next to her. Commander Ren catches her wrist, stilling the blaster before she can direct it on impulse at his chest.

For one moment Anika shakes in his grasp, fear not wanting to let go of her body. Then she snaps, whirling to point the flashlight at him accusingly. It only glares off the metal on his mask, reflecting right back into her face. “Where have you been!?”

“Underneath the ship,” Ren retorts. He releases her, tugging at the blaster instead. Anika lets go, and he pulls it from her grip. Ren holds it up into the beam of light, making a noise.

“The safety is on. You couldn’t have even killed the giant snail if you tried,” he remarks dryly.

“You’ve been. Underneath. The ship. This entire time!?” Anika grinds out.

“Aren’t you pleased my giant, moody ass was not exploring a strange world at night time?” he retorts.

“You could have said something four heart attacks ago,” she practically shouts at him.

“Four heart attacks seemed about enough,” Ren mutters, turning to stalk up the ramp towards the hold.

“Look, about what happened-” Anika begins, launching quickly into the mental apology she’d already prepared. But Commander Ren doesn’t give her a chance.

“I wasn’t thinking clearly. Let’s drop it.”

She follows him up the ramp, frowning. “But…”

“Drop it,” Ren orders harshly, gesturing at the open hatch. She enters first, stepping aside to make room for him behind her. The door closes once more, muting the jungle noises.

Ren stalks away from her, towards the cockpit. Anika sighs, finding the blanket where she’d dropped it earlier and sitting it on the first seat in the row. She lays down, propping her head on the blanket and extinguishing the flashlight to conserve the battery. She’s already probably used it too much, but childishly blames that on the commander.

 _He didn’t even give me a chance to explain… Does he think I was rejecting him? I just don’t know what to do, it’s not fair to Matt… is it? I told him I like him…_ But she has to admit, she also liked Commander Ren’s kiss. While it was slightly terrifying in how close to unhinged it felt, it was also thrilling. He hadn’t held back. It was like all control was gone, he was wild, and she… loved it.

The guilt returns when she thinks that. Anika rolls, attempting to find a comfortable position and to stop her thoughts. Maybe Commander Ren is listening, or maybe he is being obstinate. Her mood has turned so foul, she hardly cares. Her skin is still hot, and she can’t seem to find a way to lay that doesn’t make some part of her feel overheated.

_…I never thought I’d want to go back to Starkiller Base, but… I’d take a trash heap over this planet._

**Morning**

Ironic that she was wishing for a trash heap, given that Anika wakes up feeling like reheated garbage. Her back aches, the muscles of her thighs strangely sore. Her head pounds with her pulse. She’s still feverish feeling, a sensation that’s apparently become her new normal on Planet Hell.

She sits up, rubbing at her eyes, a foul expression on her face. Commander Ren’s rustling through the storage bins again, and she jerks when he tosses a food pack at her.

“You need to eat something, and rehydrate,” he orders. “I’ve already determined the wreckage nearest us that will most likely have the parts we need.”

Anika scowls when he opens the hatch, allowing foggy morning light to fill the space. “Did you even sleep? Or did you spend all night being crabby?”

Ren’s mask turns to her. “Watch it,” he warns. “I’m still your superior.”

Anika rolls her eyes, tearing open the food. His attitude is pissing her off. “Were you my superior before, during, or after you jammed your tongue down my throat?”

“All of the above,” Ren replies threateningly. “I’m not going to tolerate insubordination.”

“I’ll insubordinate you if I want to,” she retorts petulantly, narrowing her eyes at the mask and chewing far more angrily than she needs to.

Commander Ren is silent, and some, distant part of her brain reminds her that is probably a bad thing. Yesterday, it would have scared her. It’s entirely possible he’s considering murdering her, but she can’t seem to care. _So sticky…why is the air so sticky…_

“…What has gotten into you?” Ren asks quietly, now sounding more intrigued than irritated.

“Not your copulatory organ, that’s for sure,” Anika snaps bitterly. She grabs one of the emergency canteens that he’s left near the seats. The water meeting her lips make her realize how thirsty she is, and she drinks greedily.

She’s guzzling down water when Ren removes a glove, peeling it off to reveal the pale skin of his hand. He comes forward without warning, pressing the back of his hand to her forehead. Anika tries to flinch away, but he catches her with his other hand, holding her still.

She blinks up at his mask, confused. “What are you doing?” she asks.

“You’re running a fever,” he observes. “…Do you feel strange?”

“I feel annoyed. And hot.”

He drops his hand from her skin, and the mask cocks to the side as he surveys her. “Anything else?”

She considers that, frowning, before releasing some of the angry thoughts buzzing about her mind. “I hate this planet. I want to borrow your lightsaber so I can chop apart every stupid fucking mushroom I see. And the giant snail. Fuck that snail.”

“Hmm.”

“What?” Anika attempts to drink more water, only to realize she’s drained the canteen. _I’m still so thirsty…_

“You seem to have even less common sense than usual,” Ren observes, as though studying her for science. “And you appear far more aggressive.”

“Aggressive? Maybe I caught something from you,” she suggests rudely, before frowning. _Why am I taking digs at Commander Ren? He could murder me with his mind, this is not smart._ “…I am acting weird, aren’t I?”

He nods once. “I think you may be infected with something.”

She considers that. Enough logic remains in her brain for her to realize her behavior is unusual. The fear she’d felt yesterday, and last night, is gone. Now she’s just one hot, sweaty ball of irritation. No sense of self preservation, just angry and bitchy. _It’s like PMS on steroids…_

“Well, if that’s the case, why aren’t you infected too?” Anika asks. “You’re also on Planet Hell, so shouldn’t you have what I have?”

Ren sighs. “I don’t know. I feel fine, as of right now.”

She cocks her head, narrowing her eyes. “To be sure, maybe you should take that mask off. I can feel you for a fever.”

The mask stares at her, and he doesn’t budge to remove it. “Nice try,” he remarks flatly, sounding unimpressed. “But I don’t think we need to deal with that right now.”

“You’re seriously going to keep that thing on this whole time?” Anika pushes incredulously.

“If you’re sick, the last thing we need to do is argue-”

“You can lick my tonsils, but I don’t get to see your face?” she interrupts him angrily.

“Stop it,” Ren grinds out. “I need you to try to control yourself. You’re being ridiculous.”

“I know what you are, but what am I?” she snaps, before flinching. “…Kriff, what the hell is wrong with me…”

“I’ll find you something for the fever in the medbay. Let’s hurry up and get the parts we need, so we can get you off this planet,” Ren suggests.

Anika nods, biting down the snarky remarks that want to bubble from her mouth. Deep, deep down…Underneath the sweaty rage, some part of her mind is horrified at how far she’s pushed Commander Ren. _I better hope he doesn’t get whatever I have…_

If it’s managed to make her this angry and aggressive feeling, she doesn’t even want to picture what it would do to Commander Ren. _Mushroom World would not make him into a fungi…Fun guy…_ She can’t bring herself to laugh, rolling her eyes instead. She’s even irritating herself.


	11. Ch. 11

**Early Afternoon**

Anika pauses during their hike through the jungle to level a kick, aiming for the top of a little toadstool shaped mushroom. When it snaps off, she kicks it a second time to send the top chunk of it rolling across the ground.

“For the last time, _stop kicking the mushrooms!_ ” Ren grinds out from ahead of her.

 _He sounds super annoyed. Welcome to the party._ She stomps along behind him, still feeling terrible. The medicine he gave her on the shuttle took some of the fever down, but she still feels warm. Her body aches all over, skin overly sensitive. Despite draining a second canteen worth of water, Anika feels incredibly thirsty.

“Are we there yet, Sir?” she whines, ducking beneath the draping membrane of some green growth.

“No.”

“Are we almost there?”

“Yes.”

“You’ve been saying we’re almost there forever,” she remarks.

Commander Ren doesn’t even answer her, but she sees his hands curl into fists, his shoulders tensing up. She’s testing every last bit of patience he must have, that much she’s sure of. _He must actually like me, to have not killed me yet. That’s sweet._

A bit more walking, up a hill that is slimy with some sort of mold, and they crest the top to see the site they’re hoping to scavenge parts from. It’s a group of three shuttles, all brought down in the same clearing. The closest one is right at the bottom of the hill, the other two somewhat visible in the distance. Anika frowns when she recognizes the symbols on the side of the vessel. 

“These are old Republic ships,” she notes curiously.

“Indeed.”

The commander starts down the hill, towards the closest ship. She follows, boots sliding on the slimy ground. Her mind is finally able to fixate on something other than her discomfort, which helps.

“They look like they haven’t been here that long. Where do you think the pilots are?” Anika asks.

“Not here.”

She makes a face at her commander’s back, and the clipped answers he’s giving her. Any number of insulting things to say spring to her mind, but Anika bites her tongue. She needs to focus on the goal, here. _I just need to get off this planet… Without Commander Ren’s lightsaber shoved up my-_

“Don’t step on those,” Ren says harshly, stopping her before her foot can land on a broad, fleshy petal sprawled across the ground. “They look predatory.”

Anika moves her foot, stepping clear of the thing instead. The ground in this little valley is covered in whatever it is. They look like pale, chunky flowers, laying flat against the dirt. Each one is wide, big enough across that she could lay down on it and still have space. The edges of each petal are lined with narrow, wispy filaments that project up, wavering in the air.

Anika makes a disgusted face at the life form, skirting around it and its friends to follow Ren to the Rebel ship. They round the crash site to find the stern, and she groans when she sees the damage done there. The dampeners are missing, the metal gouged from where someone apparently ripped them out of the vessel.

“Someone had the same idea we did,” she says.

The commander looks angry, if she had to guess based on body posture. _Since he won’t show me his face. Why would he kiss me, but not show me his face? I mean, does he expect to always have sex in the dark?_ Her core spasms with pleasure at the thought, entirely too strongly. In fact, now that she’s paying attention to it… What is going on with her body?

Anika heaves a sigh, but it fails to make her feel better. The sun is only making the moist air seem thicker, like each breath is a chore. Commander Ren stares at the ship for another long minute, before appearing to snap out of it.

“We’ll check the others before heading back,” Ren orders.

She marches after him obediently, struggling to control the urge to kick at random things like a misbehaving child. She studies Commander Ren as they head deeper into the valley, her gaze taking in the broadness of his back. _How are his shoulders so wide… I could climb him like a tree…_

She holds back an aroused groan, eyes widening as she realizes something very bad is happening. And yet… she can’t stop imagining him under that menacing suit. Pale skin, dark hair… _Who cares if he doesn’t let me see his face. Fuck a face, literally, he can fuck my-_

Anika winces, forcing herself to stare stubbornly at the ground, watching where she’s stepping. _What is happening to me!? Ugh… Stop it…_

Yet she can’t stop. Her imagination is way too amped up, urged on by a feverish fixation. What would have happened, if she hadn’t said Matt’s name? Would Ren have continued his violent assault on her? Her body responds positively, liking that thought. Anika scans his muscular frame from behind before she catches herself again, heaving a sigh.

_Stop checking out Commander Ren… stop checking out Commander Ren…_

She tries to think of something else. Anything else. She searches the jungle around them, meaning to take in the scenery. But it only makes her angrier, reminding her of their terrible situation. She squints her eyes at the sight of flesh-colored, tall fungi clustered nearby. Yep. _Those mushrooms all look like-_

The commander stops suddenly, and she nearly runs into him. “What are you doing!?” Ren snaps.

“N-Nothing,” she insists. _Trying to not undress you with my eyes, Sir… Looking at the phallus shrooms instead, Sir…_

His helmet cocks off center as he stares at her, taking a step closer. “If you’re feeling worse, you need to tell me.”

“Nope. I’m good,” Anika bluffs.

His hand comes to under her chin, turning her face up to look into his mask. Arousal flushes through her body intensely, making her gasp, lips parting. She feels like she’s ready to rip her nails into his pants, shred them apart to reach- _Fuck! Stop it, Anika!_

“Y-You don’t want to do that right now, Commander. Trust me,” she stutters out, her fingers wrapping around his thick wrist. _Oh, kriff, is everything on him thick!?_

Whether Ren has read her mind, or can literally see the arousal on her face, she has no idea. But he drops his hand from her, stepping back quickly.

“Oh.”

That’s the highest pitched his voice has ever managed to sound, she notes. “Right,” Anika breathes. Her eyes fall down his body, lingering at the bottom of that stupidly long top he’s wearing. She has the urge to drop to her knees and wiggle up under it, to paw at his crotch like some demented, horny gremlin. _I always knew it. I’m going to die of horniness._

“That’s a new symptom,” he remarks quietly.

“Sure is…”

“The infection must be increasing your sex drive, similar to its effect on aggression,” Ren theorizes. “It also seems to be progressing rapidly…”

“We should hurry,” she suggests. _Otherwise you’re going to have to tie me up… Actually, maybe we should take our time…_

“Hurrying sounds like a plan,” Ren agrees. He starts for the second shuttle, the one they’re halfway to. 

But Anika looks off to the side, where the third shuttle is sitting a distance away. “Why don’t I go check that one? To save time?” She doesn’t add that it would also give her some space to hopefully cool off.

Ren hesitates. “We should stay together.”

But Anika’s already stubbornly marching to the third ship, trying to walk off the newest, most awkward symptom. “It’ll be fine, Sir. I’ll yell if something tries to eat me,” she calls back to him.

**Not Long After**

Anika isn’t sure if Commander Ren’s had any luck with his shuttle, but hers has exactly what they need. She gets to work quickly, relieved she brought the proper tool. She’s loosening the bolts to release the first dampener, focused on working quickly and getting off Planet Hell. But her hands are a little shaky, her mind distant. Her tongue is dry with thirst, and it doesn’t feel like the fever reducer is even working anymore.

“Well. What have we found?”

She jumps at the male voice, distinctly different from Commander Ren’s tone. Anika turns around, her grip on the wrench tightening. Three men stand behind the shuttle, watching her. They’ve snuck up on her, and something about their appearance reassures her they don’t mean well.

“I don’t want any trouble,” Anika says warily. 

The middle one grins, but it’s not the friendliest expression. The longer she surveys the men, the more she realizes they look sickly. Their faces are flushed a deep red, a rash creeping up their necks. She would bet there’s more rash underneath their dirty scavenger clothing.

“You crash here too?” the oldest looking one asks, stepping forward. “We’re almost done fixing up our ship. Maybe we’ll give you a ride.”

Anika takes a step back, bumping into the metal hull behind her. “Um. No, thanks.”

The guy in the middle laughs, his smile growing wider. “Aw, don’t be like that,” he taunts.

Her patience snaps, and with it, the fragile bit of control she’d been clinging onto. Her temper rises as quickly as her voice. “Do you not understand Basic? I said no,” she snarls. “Fuck off, you Gamorrean nutsack.”

The smile falls from his red, sweaty face, and the man lunges for her. In any other situation like this, Anika would have run. If the decision was fight or flight, she was firmly a flight kind of girl. But the resurging fever has burned her last shred of self-preservation, and she finds herself raising the wrench when the guy dares to come at her.

She cracks the man across the face, pleased when he staggers back and she sees blood. She raises the tool to hit him again, surprised by the violent urge. She’s never really hurt anyone before in her life. _First time for everything._

But his companion is too quick, and she cries out when he snags her arm, bending it painfully back. The wrench comes free, falling to the dirt. She struggles, attempting to kick at him, but he’s much stronger. Anika can only flail and scream when the man begins dragging her, backwards towards the open garage bay of the crashed ship.

He tugs her up through the garage door, hand sliding up near her chin as he manhandles her. She angles her jaw, rewarded when she can sink her teeth into his hand. His strangled yell only makes her chomp down harder, coppery blood meeting her taste buds.

“Bitch!” he grunts, shoving her hard. She loses her balance at the way he flings her, colliding with a repair bench and falling.

“She’s feisty,” the older man remarks appreciatively as he joins them in the garage. _Gag._

Anika scrambles to her feet near the workbench, scowling at the two men that block her exit. The one she bit is raging, his expression near murderous. The other one looks like he’s having fun, and he takes a leering step closer. She hasn’t managed to hurt him yet, but her eyes fall to the repair bench. _Don’t want gizka brains to feel left out…_

Someone’s left tools dumped in a mess across the bench, and she grabs up a screwdriver. The uninjured man creeps closer, eyeing the tool in her hand.

“It doesn’t have to be like this,” he suggests. “We all need to burn off some steam, that’s all.”

 _The only person I want burning my steam off is Commander Ren. Or Matt. Or both._ She’s going to need to file that away for a future fantasy.

“No. Not after she bit me,” the other man interjects. “I’m killing this little bitch after we have our turns.”

Anika growls aggressively, fingers tightening around the screwdriver. She’s ready to throw herself at the man recklessly, but she doesn’t have to. They are interrupted by a scream from outside, all of them turning to look back towards the garage door.

The third man who had remained outside suddenly appears, slamming into the wall across from the open door. He crashes into a heap on the floor.

“What the…” the man closest to her breathes, and it’s her turn to smile.

“You guys are _so_ screwed,” Anika laughs.

Commander Ren appears, stepping up into the garage of the ship. He says nothing, just stands there like a hulking mass of fury. _Oh, that is so hot…_

The man nearest Anika grabs at the tool bench, taking a torch and charging the commander. He makes it halfway there before Ren moves, raising a hand in the air. The man is swept upwards off his feet, the torch clattering onto the metal beneath his toes. He splutters and chokes, hands grasping at his own throat as if he can claw the force off.

Commander Ren’s head tilts, his fingers and thumb drawing closer together. The noises stop, the man’s already reddened face turning purple.

“ _Fuck_ this,” the last man swears, eyes round with fear. He takes off running, shoving passed Anika towards the front of the vessel.

 _Oh, not so fast!_ “Where do you think you’re going!?” she shouts after him, taking off to chase him. She’s operating in a blind, feral rage, and follows him through the ship’s compartments.

He scrambles to open the main hatch, leaping out of the ship into the jungle. Anika pursues, hopping down and racing across the dirt to try to catch him. Logically, she has no chance of stopping the man. He’s much taller and stronger than her. _What am I doing…? I hate running._

She hesitates, coming to a stop and panting to try to catch her breath. Her clothes are soaked in sweat thoroughly now, and she feels like her insides are a dehydrated sponge. The man keeps running, right onto one of the translucent, meaty flowers that sprawls across the ground.

Anika’s jaw drops open when the whole structure snaps up, folding in half the moment his foot falls in the center. The man is caught as the petals seal closed, the filaments tying together neatly at the edges. Most disturbing is that she can still see him inside, flailing. _That is…not right. That is so not right._

She stares, horrified, as his motions continue, growing less frantic. Commander Ren comes to a stop next to her as the man falls still.

“I hate this entire planet,” Anika says weakly.

“I agree.”

For a long moment they’re both silent, watching the grotesque thing begin moving rhythmically. It’s sloshing about, the petals slowly tinting pink, then red. Commander Ren turns from the sight as if to head back towards the shuttle, but stops. His glove raises to her face, hovering near her mouth.

“You’re bleeding. Are you hurt?”

“Oh, no. I bit him,” Anika explains, waving towards the man-eating fungus flower.

**Evening**

They get the dampeners back to the ship, and Anika starts work on repairs after another canteen of water. It does little to quench her thirst, but she feels better now that escape is in sight. Most of the repairs are simple enough, and she does those first along with removing the safety constraints on the engines.

Installing the dampeners, however, is challenging because of their location. They’re tucked behind the hyperdrive, and she’ll need to strain around it to reach them. She sets up her flashlight to give some extra light before looking around the engine room. The commander has ducked out, apparently. _Where did he go? Ugh, I can’t stand this humidity anymore._

Anika peels her shirt off, following with the undershirt to leave only her bra. Her skin looks flushed, practically swollen with blush. The muscle aches have stopped though, that much she’s grateful for. _Of course, that could be a bad sign…_

She has to lean over one of the metal guard pieces for the engine, but finds the metal is cooler than her skin. She sighs, letting herself practically lie against it. It feels soothing as she gets to work loosening the remains of the old dampeners out of place.

“You should take another dose of the fever red-“

Commander Ren stops short, and Anika pauses in her work to look back towards him. He’s hovering just inside the hatch to the engine room. It’s then she realizes how ridiculous she must look. She’s sprawled out, ass up, topless, laying on top of the hyperdrive.

“I uh… I got hot.”

The commander says nothing. She spots the medication in his hand. “Did you bring that for me?” she tries asking.

He’s still silent, and Anika turns herself into a more modest position, reclining on her back instead. But that results in her exposing her front, and a noise issues from his mask at the sight of her chest. He jerks, so slightly that it’s barely noticeable. But her eyes fly to his hips, to the way he shifts them, suggesting sudden discomfort. _Ooh…_

Anika wets her lips. “…Sir?” she asks, toying with the strap of her bra.

“Don’t-Don’t do that,” Ren stutters in a growl.

She pouts with irritation. “Why not? I’ve been wanting you all day.”

If she had any ability to feel embarrassment, she’d be cringing right now. _Who am I? I don’t say things like that._ But she doesn’t care that she’s acting unusual. Her brain is a rabid mess screaming for an outlet.

“You’re sick,” Ren snaps. She lets the strap slide down her shoulder, lips parting at the angry noise of frustration it draws from her superior. The cup of her bra is barely hanging on, hiding her nipple from view.

Ren drops the container of medicine, storming towards her. Anika gasps when he grabs her hips roughly, dragging her down the curving metal guard. He pulls her thighs against his body, only their pants in the way. She’s all too happy to wrap her legs around his hips, arching her back and pulling him towards her. His fingers travel down, digging into her bottom, groping her flesh hungrily.

Anika’s eyes slide closed in bliss. _Yes, yes… I need this… Make me feel better…_ She opens her lids, reaching out to search for the buckle to his pants. Ren stiffens, his hips abruptly jerking back from where they’d been pressing into her a moment before. He releases his hold of her rear, grabbing her hand to stop her.

“Your chest,” he says weakly.

“What about it?” Anika asks hazily, trying to shake his grip. She snakes the fingers of her free hand up his thigh, searching, but he growls.

“ _Look_ at your chest,” Ren hisses.

She rolls her eyes, looking down at the tops of her breasts. But her brow crumples at the sight of the rash there, curving up her cleavage, spreading itself over her skin. _That’s not good…_

“I think I’m infected too,” the commander admits. “Though it doesn’t seem to be advanced yet.” He pulls away from her, attempting to gently untangle her legs from his waist.

Anika makes a noise of protest, trying to cling onto him. _Wait! I’ll feel better if you just-_ She searches his mask with pleading eyes, but he must not be as far gone as she is. Ren loses his patience, prying her legs from around his waist and staggering back once free. _Asshole!_

“I have to get you off this planet, not fuck you in the engine room,” he snarls furiously.

“Does it have to be an either-or situation?” she argues.

“That’s it.”

She scrambles back in alarm when he grabs for her, but the commander doesn’t let her get away. He grabs her arm, towing her from the engine room.

“What are you doing!?” Anika demands, jerking her arm angrily.

“Injecting you with an anti-fungal and a sedative,” Ren snaps.

“You don’t even know that it’s a fungal infection,” Anika points out hotly, mostly for the sake of arguing. They’ve both reached a flash point in their tempers, she can tell Ren is about as livid as she’s been. _I knew it. He’s not a fungi when he’s sick…_

He tugs her into the tiny medbay, shoving her down to sit on the table. “We’re on a planet overrun with fungus, anti-fungal is a reasonable guess,” he rants, yanking open drawers until he finds what he’s searching for.

Anika yips in pain when he injects her without warning. “Okay, but you can’t sedate me,” she snaps out. “You need me to install the dampeners-”

“I’ll figure it out,” Ren interrupts. “I’ve done it before.”

A more sensible version of her would be curious about that. Why would the Commander of the First Order do his own service work? Anika doesn’t even question it though. It’s not important. All that’s important to her overheated mind is that he rejected her poor attempts at seduction, and it makes her cantankerous. She hops down off the table when he tries to come near her with the sedatives.

“I don’t want to be sedated,” she insists, narrowing her eyes at the visor of his mask. 

“Too bad. If I get distracted by you, we’ll end up dying here,” he says, prowling closer. She dances back, out of the medbay.

It’s like a childish game of tag, and he’s It. She feels compelled to be difficult for him, to punish him for not giving her what she wants. She gains ground, backing down the narrow corridor. Ren makes a noise of irritation, stopping his pursuit.

“You’re forgetting that I don’t have to use sedative to knock you out,” he threatens. “I was just trying to do it the nicer way.”

Anika stops, eyes widening with understanding. “Wait-”

Everything goes black.


	12. Ch. 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should put the tiniest of warnings for pushy, unwelcome advances.

Anika’s eyes snap open to see a white ceiling above her. Her mind is fuzzy with the residue of a long sleep, and she blinks up at the shiny panels several times with confusion. _Huh…Where are the mushrooms…_

She recognizes the ceiling at about the same time she becomes aware of the discomfort in the crook of her elbow. Anika looks down to see a bruise marking the spot around an IV, some sort of clear liquid disappearing into her veins. _How did I get back to base…?_ She is clearly in the medbay, but how?

The last thing she remembers is… _Oh, kriff…_ The last thing she remembers is propositioning Commander Ren in the engine room of his shuttle. The humiliation that had been completely absent at the time now returns, tenfold. _I can’t believe I did that…_ Anika lets her head fall back onto the pillow with a huff.

“If you’re feeling better, I need to inform Master Ren.”

Anika shrieks at the deep voice speaking up from right beside her, recoiling away. She nearly topples off the slender metal gurney, throwing an arm out when she feels the bed wobbling on its wheels. She only succeeds in smacking the stand her own IV is attached to.

One of the Knights of Ren is standing beside her, and she had somehow failed to notice him until he spoke. He shoots a hand out to grab the stand, steadying it before it can topple to the ground.

“Th-thanks,” she stutters out, trying to stop herself from physically shrinking away from his presence. She doesn’t know which Knight this is, but his helmet is at least slightly less terrifying than Ap’lek’s. He isn't quite as tall, but seems broader. He also isn’t carrying a blade that she can see, though he has a blaster rifle peaking up from where it is slung over his back.

The knight only inclines his head in return, a small nod of acknowledgement. Then he goes back to silently standing beside her. Anika attempts to hide how nervous he’s making her, refraining from fidgeting on the cot. _Nothing like waking up to Murder Mountain: The Sequel…_

Mercifully, the curtains across from her feet slide open and she sees a friendly face. Jorran enters, casting a guarded look at the Knight.

“Are her vitals improved?” the masked terror asks.

Jorran takes a look at the med droid hovering near the wall, tapping on the screen until he sees what he's looking for. “Looks like it. We’ll be able to release her soon,” he answers.

“I’ll let Master Ren know.”

Anika and Jorran exchange tense looks while the Knight excuses himself. After a long minute passes, Jorran ducks his head out of the curtain to check that he’s left before letting out a long exhale of relief.

“Good riddens. That guy was creeping me out,” he complains.

Anika makes a noise of understanding. “How long has he been hanging out here?”

“Eighteen hours.”

“What!?” she demands incredulously. _Have I really been out that long!?_ Jorran approaches her arm, removing the catheter from her vein.

“We had to keep you sedated during treatment,” he explains, tone sympathetic. “It’s a good thing the Commander brought you in when he did, your white blood cell count was off the charts.”

Anika raises her eyebrows, not having a clue what that means. “Um…non-medic speak?”

“Your infection was bad,” Jorran replies. “Your body was reacting really strangely.”

 _You have no idea…_ She hesitates a moment before venturing to ask about Ren. “Did Commander Ren get treated? He said he thought he might also be infected.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t have to keep him overnight,” Jorran explains. “We were worried you might go into anaphylactic shock.”

“…Shit.” She knew enough to know that sounded bad.

The commander must have been successful in installing the scavenged dampeners himself, then. Anika wants to shrink down into the blankets pooled around her waist at the thought of how she’d been acting right before he knocked her out. 

Jorran hands her a little cup of pills and a glass of water. She eyes them curiously. “It’s just a final dose of meds for the infection, and something to boost your immune system.”

Anika takes them, swallowing them down with lots of water. She’s still unusually thirsty, but otherwise feels back to normal. “Did I miss much while we were gone?”

Jorran’s eyes widen comically as he plops down onto the stool next to her gurney. “Kriff, you missed a ton! General Hux about burst a vein when Commander Ren’s vessel took off and went missing. You know that one in his forehead that always pops out?”

She laughs. “I know exactly the one you mean. I would’ve thought Hux would be thrilled to have Commander Ren gone. All they do is fight.”

Jorran shakes his head. “No. He was pissed, screaming about sabotage. Was it sabotage? What happened?”

Anika chews at her lip nervously, looking away from his scrutinizing face. She isn’t sure how much she should share, or more specifically, how much Ren would want him to know. “I’m not sure,” she finally answers. “We ended up crashing on this terrible planet.”

“Ren said it was predominantly fungal life forms?” Jorran replies. She nods. “Well, whatever infected you, it attacked fast. You would’ve been sprouting mushrooms out of your eyeballs as soon as you died.”

Anika’s mouth falls open at the graphic mental image that provides her. “…Thank you. I needed to picture that.”

He frowns apologetically. “Sorry… I’m just glad you’re okay.”

She gives him a small grin. “Thanks. That’s sweet of you.”

Jorran shifts awkwardly. “I mean, I am glad you’re okay because you seem like a nice person, but…I’m really glad you’re okay because the Commander demanded we fix you, or else.”

“Or else what?”

He holds his hands up, fingers splayed out in an exaggerated shrug. “I don’t know? He didn’t say, and I didn’t have fun imagining. He just stormed in here with you in his arms, in one hell of a pissed off mood.”

Anika makes a face. “I’m sorry.” _His pissed off mood was at least half my fault, after all…_ What would have happened, if his infection had been as advanced as hers? She recalls the way he’d tugged her legs around his waist, his fingers digging into her with hasty lust… _At least I would have died happy._

Jorran sighs. “We should get some food in your stomach before you take off, and make sure you keep it down alright.”

She nods in agreement, realizing her belly does feel painfully hollow. When Jorran returns a few minutes later with food on a tray for her, she scarfs it down hungrily. It’s not any more appetizing than the typical meals on base, but she doesn’t care. Hunger has a way of making everything taste a little bit better.

“Has Darial come in for a shift since I’ve been here?” Anika asks curiously, draining her second glass of water. Surely her friend would have been worried about her. She’s surprised Darial wasn’t hovering as close as the Knight when she woke up.

Jorran shakes his head, however. “No. She worked yesterday morning…” He looks around before reaching back to draw the curtain closed more snugly. “Can I tell you something though?”

Anika sits up straighter on the cot. “…Yes?”

He glances around suspiciously, seemingly uneasy about what he’s about to say. When he speaks again, Jorran lowers his voice down conspiratorially. “There was something off about her the last time I saw her.”

She swallows nervously. She’d been so focused on being stranded on that strange planet, and repairing the shuttle with Commander Ren, that she had nearly forgotten. But now the disturbing encounter with Darial refreshes itself in her mind, and she leans forward.

“Off?”

Jorran fumbles for words for a moment. “I just mean…She didn’t-She wasn’t… Acting right? I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Like talking really strangely?” Anika ventures.

He nods. “Yes! She was saying really bizarre things, it was like she had a personality transplant.”

“That’s how she was the last time I saw her, when I messaged you to ask about it,” she explains. “…I wonder what’s up with her?”

Jorran shrugs, but his eyes betray his worry. He drops his voice even lower to continue. “I don’t know, but it’s freaking me out. She just kept talking about how much she loved Hux-”

Anika interrupts him to make an exaggerated gagging sound.

“-I know, they’ve only been on two dates!” Jorran agrees, rolling his eyes. “And she has tried twice now to get me to meet her somewhere private.”

Anika furrows her brow, considering that. “What do you mean?”

“Well the first time, she wanted me to check the medical supplies inventory for something with her, even though we had plenty of it here in the medbay? Then the second time, she was pressuring me to come to her quarters to discuss something,” Jorran explains.

“But you didn’t go?”

He jerks with a shiver. “No, hell no. It gave me the creeps. I’ve got this icky vibe about it.”

Anika frowns, looking down to pick at the sheets covering her legs. _Ugh, this isn’t good…_ “I was hoping she’d snap out of it, whatever it is…”

Jorran edges closer, leaning down to whisper to her. “She isn’t the only one acting weird…”

Anika searches his gaze, finding fear lingering in his eyes. It sends a chill dancing down her spine, and she shudders. “What do you mean?” she breathes.

He jerks his head in a gesture towards the curtains that separate them from the rest of the medbay. “My supervisor, the head doctor,” he admits, so quietly that she is practically lip reading to understand him.

 _Shit…_ This is the last thing she wanted to hear. What could be to blame for first Darial, and now the supervisor of the medbay acting strangely? Anika feels like she can’t catch a break. She’s lucky to have escaped that planet with Ren, and now she has to try to deal with…whatever this situation is.

“What do we do?” she asks Jorran quietly.

He gives her an appraising look. “Well, I was thinking…If you and Commander Ren are… close, maybe-”

“We aren’t close,” she interrupts.

“It sort of looked like you might be close, with him carrying you in here like a bride and hovering over me while I tried to get your fever down,” Jorran argues quickly.

“I mean-he was probably just concerned-”

“Mmhmm, so concerned that he kept stroking your hair while you slept,” Jorran retorts sarcastically.

Anika’s mouth falls open at the mental picture of Commander Ren playing with her hair. She’d already accepted based on their interactions that the Commander was interested in her sexually. If he’d been a little bit sicker, they’d probably be half dead on Planet Hell, fornicating on every available surface. But the way Jorran described Ren’s behavior in the medbay, it sounded nearly…affectionate. Jorran gives her a small, smug smile of victory at her speechlessness.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he concludes. “Look, if you have an in, we need to use it. Tell Commander Ren. Maybe he can look in their heads like he does with prisoners. They could be under mind control or something.”

She raises her eyebrows skeptically. “Mind control?” she repeats doubtfully.

“I don’t know! But telling him is better than doing nothing,” he insists urgently.

Anika sighs, but she has to agree. They should do something, and right now she feels like the only person she can trust is Commander Ren.

“Fine. I’ll message him when I get back to my quarters,” she concedes.

Jorran looks relieved, pacing back from her to nod. “Good. Thank you.”

**An Hour Later**

Anika slips out of the medbay late at night after being discharged, and is halfway to her quarters before she remembers she is headed the wrong way. Her new room is on the executive level, and the commander had apparently already had her belongings moved there for her. Jorran had informed her, and a quick check of her messages showed Ren had sent her the same reminder.

She comes to a stop in the hall before sighing with resignation, and turning in an about face. She’s tired enough that she had been walking on autopilot. Anika heads back the way she came, searching for an elevator to take her up several floors. She isn’t going to feel comfortable on a level mostly inhabited by superior officers, but she just wants to lay back down.

Whatever they used to sedate her is lingering in her system, and Anika suppresses a yawn as she sets eyes on the nearest elevator. She’s almost to it when Matt’s voice stops her.

“Anika! You’re back!”

She spins around at the sound of him, spotting him rushing down the hallway towards her. He’s wearing his uniform, his glasses perched precariously at the end of his nose. Matt gives an awkward wave when he approaches, coming to a stop in front of her.

“I’m back,” she replies, unable to stop the small grin from spreading across her face. He looks excited to see her, and something about it makes her feel giddy. “You’re back, too.”

“What?” he asks, his brows crumpling with confusion above the lenses.

“You said you were leaving for a few days, the last time you messaged?” she reminds him.

“Oh, right!” Matt replies, grinning. “Yes, I’m back, too.”

 _Oh, wow…that smile… Wait, get a hold of yourself._ Despite how adorable she finds Matt’s smile, she has to remember that she’d been suspicious of him not long ago. She needs to keep her guard up around him. _And there’s the fact that I kissed Commander Ren…_

Anika shuffles her feet hesitantly, unsure what to do. Her initial happiness at seeing Matt is slowly being replaced with guilt. _Should I tell him about me and the commander?_ Did she have to tell him? They weren’t necessarily an exclusive thing… Before she can squirm with guilt any longer, Matt speaks up again.

“Where were you headed?”

“Oh. My new quarters,” she answers. “I got assigned a new room, it’s a whole story.” She waves a hand, trying to avoid having to explain it in detail.

Matt, mercifully, doesn’t push her for more information. “Oh, okay. Can I accompany you there?”

She smiles at the sweet offer. “Sure.”

The elevator comes immediately, the doors sliding open to an empty carriage. It’s late, and not many people are out other than the ones working night shift. Anika steps into the space first, followed by Matt. The doors slide closed as they begin rising.

“I’m pleased to have accidentally encountered you this evening,” Matt says.

She smiles even as her brow furrows, happy at his admittance but confused by the way he’s phrased it. Anika turns around to look at Matt, but immediately freezes when he steps close to press his lips against hers. Matt’s nose bumps into hers, his lips warm and urgent.

Whatever thought had been in her mind disappears, as Matt tilts his head to get a better angle at her mouth, his arms circling her to pull her against his body. His kiss is different than she remembered it. It’s less patient, all of his shyness gone. It’s nowhere near as needy and violent as Ren’s kiss had been, but still… _Different…_

There is a mechanical noise as the elevator stops, the doors sliding open. Anika tries to pull from Matt’s kiss, ducking and wiggling free of his arms. She doesn’t want to miss her floor and finding her new room.

“Come on,” she urges, stepping around him to get out of the elevator. Matt follows, and she begins to tease him. “Can’t you wait until we get some privacy?”

He grabs her arm to halt her from continuing down the hallway. Anika searches his face, but the teasing doesn’t seem to bring out his humor. Matt’s brown eyes are intense with something, focused on hers. His grip is a little too hard on her wrist, his fingers pressing into the bone.

“I desire you,” he says quietly.

Anika licks her lips nervously, taking a step back. _Um…_ He doesn’t free her from his hold, letting her pull against him uselessly.

“Matt, let go,” she says quietly, giving him a forced smile. _You’re kind of freaking me out a little…_

He seems oblivious to the fakeness in her smile, stepping forward to catch her other arm. Anika jerks against him, trying to retreat. She’s uncomfortable, regretting agreeing to this. But Matt only holds on, entirely too strong for her weak attempts at shaking him off to work. This isn’t like him.

“What are you doing?” she questions, uneasy as his grip slides down to capture her hands. He forces her towards his tall frame, bending to kiss her once more.

Anika freezes as his tongue shoves into her mouth insistently, making a noise of protest. This isn’t at all how Matt had kissed her before. Something is off, something is… _Wrong… He tastes wrong._ Bizarrely, she can’t help but notice a strange taste on his tongue now that it’s firmly against hers. She wrinkles her nose up, yanking her mouth away from his as she tries to place it. It reminds her of the taste that lingered in her mouth the last time she was sick with the flu.

“Matt, wait a minute,” she pleads, yanking once more at her hands. Stumbling backwards from him doesn’t work. He only pursues her, tugging her roughly towards his chest. _What the fuck is wrong with you!?_ She’s beginning to panic now. “You’re hurting me.”

Matt doesn’t show any sign of wanting to release her, instead trying to trap her with his mouth again. When she turns her head away, he drags his lips along her jaw. _What do I do? How do I get out of this…_

“I’ll accompany you to your room,” Matt says, sounding determined.

“No,” Anika protests, trying to sound firm. “No, I just want to go to bed-”

“Anika!”

She gapes at the sound of Commander Ren’s voice yelling her name, sounding furious. For a moment, she's paralyzed with uncertainty over what to do. But then Anika recoils from Matt. This time, he lets her step back. Matt’s hold drops from her as he turns to look towards the source of the intrusion.

Commander Ren is storming down the hallway towards them, his lightsaber ignited in hand. Anika’s eyes widen in a panic. Had he seen her kissing Matt? Or, more correctly, had he seen her trying to _not_ kiss Matt? Why is his weapon lit? _Oh fuck, what is happening!? No, no, no!_

“Sir-” she stutters.

“Get away from him!” Ren growls.

Anika steps in front of Matt, trying in vain to put herself between the two men. The commander’s breath is heaving from his mask, he sounds like he’d ran to reach them. She raises her hands in a placating gesture, desperate for a way to settle the situation.

“Commander, Sir, please, it’s not what you think!” she insists. Except that it probably is exactly what he thinks… _Is he jealous!? Or did he see me struggling? Fuck, what have I done!?_ She doesn’t need to see Ren’s face to tell that he’s pissed.

Ren snarls when he reaches them, jerking his head. She’s shoved sideways across the hallway by the force, coming to a stop when she bumps into the wall. Anika can only stare, her mouth dropping open in horror, at what happens next.

Commander Ren doesn’t even hesitate, lunging for Matt. Matt tries to stagger back when he seems to realize the other man’s intent too late. Ren catches him by the shoulder, halting his retreat. His right hand drives upwards, burying the sparking crimson beam of his lightsaber deep into the bottom of Matt’s sternum. The tip of it emerges out of Matt’s back, between his shoulder blades.

Everything seems to pause for a moment as the saber crackles through Matt’s flesh, before Anika’s scream fills the hallway.


	13. Ch. 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for...grossness? Lmao

Her scream persists until she runs out of air in her lungs, cutting off only so she can gasp for a breath. Commander Ren yanks the lightsaber back out of Matt’s chest, and the blonde man stumbles back. Anika takes an unsteady step forward, reaching out, her mind a whirl of disbelief. Matt’s hand clutches at his wound, tearing at the burnt edge of his uniform shirt.

She lurches forward another step towards him, but Commander Ren catches her arm easily. He tugs her back, at the same time something strange begins to happen. Matt’s skin is bubbling, his shape warping as his mouth drops open to gape.

Her eyes widen in disgust and horror as the features of Matt’s face collapse in, his entire body spasming before collapsing. She’s left staring at what’s left, laying there on the floor in a messy pile. Matt’s clothes are intact, but spilling out of them is what looks like… lumps of flesh.

Anika looks away from the disgusting pile of remains to Commander Ren’s mask, desperately trying to understand. He stares back at her silently, his hand still cautiously hanging onto her arm. Her eyes dart quickly, back and forth between his unreadable mask and the flesh-colored pile of jello in Matt’s uniform. She can’t make sense of anything she’s just seen.

“Don’t freak out,” Ren says slowly, deactivating his lightsaber.

She stares at the blonde mop of hair that’s left on the shiny black floor, above the melted looking remnants of Matt’s face. Anika gags, stomach acid coming up her throat to burn before she tries to choke it down. A low moan starts in her chest.

“Anika, don’t freak out-” the commander tries again.

Anika is far past a rational response. She tries to rip her arm free from Ren’s hold, the moan rising into something like the wail of a very confused banshee. She can’t stop, her eyeballs feel like they are bulging out of her skull as she tries to process why Matt has become a pile of human blubber on the floor.

“Shit,” Ren swears.

Anika’s wail picks up in both pitch and volume as she pulls desperately at her arm. She wants to be free, to run screaming from whatever she’s just seen. Commander Ren waves a hand, however, and she is silenced by the abrupt onslaught of unconsciousness. The last thing she remembers is falling backwards as her vision goes to black, the commander’s arms catching her.

**Later**

Anika wakes up on something soft, her fingers brushing against silky blankets a moment before her brain catches up. Her eyes open to a shiny black ceiling and she sits up suddenly, disoriented. The motion makes her dizzy and she digs her fingers into the fabric until the nausea abates.

 _Where…am I?_ The room is dark, lit by only a dimmed light down a hallway. But she can make out enough to tell she’s in sleeping quarters.

“Easy, now. You’re okay.”

She jerks at the sound of Commander Ren’s mechanical voice, her eyes flying to the foot of the bed. He’s sitting across from the end of the mattress, perched at the edge of a loveseat. He is leaning forward, his arms resting on his knees, mask staring at her.

“W-where am I?” Anika stutters, pulling her feet up and away from him. She’s trembling like she’s scared, why does she feel so shook up? What just happened?

She scooches back, terror overtaking her when her memory catches up with her. The commander’s lightsaber glowing demonic red as he stabbed it into Matt’s chest. Matt crumpling to the floor in a disgusting pile of- she gags, nearly tossing the contents of her stomach at the vivid recollection. _He killed Matt…He killed Matt!_

Ren sees the obvious panic breaking out on her face. He stands, palms of his black gloves held out as if to try to settle her.

“I need you to try to listen,” he says carefully.

Anika gives him a fearful look before crawling quickly for the side of the bed, her eyes darting down that hallway towards what looks to be the door. She throws herself off the mattress, trying to flee Commander Ren and whatever the hell is going on.

She doesn’t make it far though, as he cuts in front of her. She practically bounces off his chest, recoiling when he grabs her arms to keep her upright.

“Let me go, Sir, please just let me go,” she pleads desperately. “I won’t tell anyone you-you-” _He what!? Turned Matt into a pile of goo!?_

Commander Ren is herding her backwards, prowling towards her and giving her no choice but to retreat towards the bed. The door, and freedom, is behind his intimidatingly large black form. Anika sobs when her legs bump into the frame of the bed.

“You’re okay, I’m not going to hurt you,” Ren insists, stopping in front of her.

Anika searches his mask, tears overflowing pitifully down her face. _He’s lying, he’s going to kill me, he’s going to kill me like he killed Matt-_

“I’m not going to kill you. Anika, please. Just sit down,” he says, lowering his voice in an attempt to sound soothing. It fails to work.

“You didn’t have to-Why did you-How could you do that!?” she gasps, shaking her head like she can shake the memory loose. “Why would you kill Matt!?”

“I didn’t kill Matt.”

Her mouth falls open as his denial, and she takes a breath that sounds more like a sob. “I-I saw you!” she exclaims. “I saw you stab him and he-he… I don’t understand…”

She drops her eyes from his mask, searching the too-shiny floor of the room and shaking her head minutely still. Back and forth, back and forth. _Why would he do this… How did he…How did he do that to Matt’s body!?_

“If you just sit down, I can explain,” the commander insists.

Anika looks longingly at the door at the end of the hallway, but she knows she’ll never make it. Commander Ren is too fast, and too strong. She’ll never get past him, not when he can literally stop her with his mind. She feels like she’s trembling from head to foot, her head spinning again as she breathes entirely too fast.

“I promise you, I have no intention of hurting you,” Ren says quietly. “I can help you understand. Sit down, Anika.”

She lets herself drop gracelessly onto the bed, looking up with hopeless eyes at the commander. A noise filters through the mask, like a deep sigh of relief. But he hovers there, seeming to hesitate now that he has her seated.

“I’m not sure how to do this, but…” Ren trails off before huffing. “Matt isn’t dead.”

“I saw Matt die, _I saw you_ kill him,” Anika insists, clenching her jaw in a desperate bid to not let renewed sobs escape her. _None of this makes any sense!_

“You saw someone that looked like Matt,” Commander Ren tries to explain. She furrows her brow in confusion, but he says nothing else. Rather, he raises his hands to his helmet.

For one long moment, they hover there on either side of his mask. Anika’s breath catches as she realizes what he’s about to do. _What…Now!? Now you do this!?_ What did it matter what his bloody face looked like!? He had just stabbed someone she thought she cared about, right in front of her eyeballs and-

There’s a mechanical noise as he presses his fingers into the mask, the jaw part jutting out. Then Commander Ren raises the entire thing off his head, and her thoughts vanish. Black hair falls loose, into a mess around his face. He lets the helmet drop with a thud onto the floor.

Anika’s staring at his face, her bottom lip slowly dropping to hang open. His features aren’t nearly as new to her as they should be. _No, that can’t…how is that…_ But she recognizes those full lips, that long nose, those brown eyes… _What the fuck…!? WHAT THE…_ The pale skin, even the freckling of moles across his cheek… His face is… It’s… Minus the blonde hair…subtract the glasses that never fit right… _No…fucking…way…_

“Matt isn’t dead, because I’m Matt.” Commander Ren’s voice is tense, but without the effects of the mask…

Shivers dance up her spine and down her arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps at the undeniable realization. It’s definitely Matt’s voice that comes from Commander Ren’s mouth…

“What…the fuck…” Anika breathes, unable to find any other words. She blinks, trying to focus, but her head is swimming. Her breathing only accelerates as she desperately tries to catch enough oxygen in her lungs.

Ren’s eyes flicker between hers, uncertain. His lower lip quivers once before he presses his lips together in a stern line. “I can explain.”

Anika moves, dragging herself backwards on the bed. If she can just put space between them, maybe she can breathe. Her head is a swirling mess, and she can’t think, she just needs space. She practically crab crawls across his sheets, because she realizes now, this is Commander Ren’s, no, _Matt’s_ bed… no Matt was dead, wasn’t he- _No no. No no no. Commander Matt’s bed…no no…_

He follows her, face concerned. “You need to slow your breathing!”

She just shakes her head frantically, unable to articulate a single thought. Ren kneels on the bed, reaching for her. “I can help you, come here,” he insists impatiently.

Anika just squeaks, shaking her head more spastically at the thought of Ren-Matt touching her. She runs out of real estate, reaching the edge of the bed but not slowing her pace. She topples off the edge in a pile of limbs, taking half of his silky, black blankets down with her.

Anika hears him swear, voice deep with frustration, before her vision turns fuzzy. Black fuzz dances across her eyes, obscuring more and more. _NO! No no, nonononono-_

Ren appears before her in the static, his expression one of worry and irritation. “We’ve been through this before, chanting ‘no’ is not going to help anything,” he grumbles, reaching for her. But the darkness wins out over her sight, as she promptly passes out on the floor of Commander Ren’s quarters.

**Minutes Later**

When she comes to again, it is on a significantly more mussed up bed. Ren’s tucked her in, the blankets wrapped around her like a messy cocoon. Anika blinks, her eyes focusing on a med droid hovering above her head. The flashing red lights on it are offensive to her brain, and she reaches out to swat at it aggressively.

“Woah-okay, you don’t have to smack it,” Ren orders from somewhere close.

The med droid retreats with a series of offended beeps, and without it blocking her vision she can see Commander Ren standing next to the bed. The fear has mostly left her system, but she feels weird now. She crumples her eyebrows as she searches his face, confused to note that he looks… _Nervous?_ It’s so strange to see Matt’s face above her commander’s uniform.

He’s taken off his black gloves, his hands clenched tightly together as he holds her gaze for a long moment. Anika’s own expression gradually sours into something accusatory. _Why hasn’t he just killed me yet? He’s probably standing there planning how best to end me-_

“Hot chocolate?” Ren asks, nodding towards the side of the bed.

Her eyes widen incredulously, but she follows his gesture to see a mug of the beverage sitting on the little nightstand. _What!?_ “Uh, n-no…” she mumbles.

 _“You’d really like some hot chocolate,”_ he insists.

You know what? She’d really like some hot chocolate. Anika reaches out, wrapping both hands around the mug to pick it up. It’s warm in her cold fingers, and she brings it to her mouth to sip hesitantly. It is nice, she thinks, the chocolate soothing.

But she lowers it when her brain catches up to her actions. _Did he just make me…?_ She gives Ren a confused glare when he steps a little closer, his mouth working as if he’s searching for what to say. She has a million questions, and some start to spill out of her lips.

“Why you kill Matt?” Anika blinks. No, that wasn’t how she wanted to phrase that. It’s like something is getting scrambled between her brain and her tongue. She tries again.

“Why did you kill Matt?” _There, that’s better._ “How are you Matt?” The mug seems to raise itself to her lips as she takes another sip of the chocolate. She can’t stop studying his face, the familiar expressions of Matt showing there in fleeting glimpses.

“If I am Matt, then you must realize that means I didn’t kill Matt. I know what you saw is confusing, and this-“ he gestures at his own face, which now looks like he’s concealing guilt. “-isn’t helping.”

“But you did a murder and gave me hot chocolate.”

For some reason, that is the most perplexing thing to Anika. _If he isn’t going to kill me…_ Was this typical for Ren? Did he have all his girlfriends watch him kill people and then bring them back to his bed for snuggles and hot cocoa? _What the fuck…_

“I-I did…” he admits, moving as if to sit near her feet. When she flinches, he stops. He paces away instead, circling the bed.

Anika realizes she’s drained the mug and moves to sit it back down. But her arm muscles feel weird… Loose, like she’s super relaxed… _or drunk…_

“What did you do to me?” she asks suspiciously. Her words keep coming out half slurred if she doesn’t focus on pronouncing them properly.

Ren sits back down on the loveseat across from the bed, and now she is positive that’s guilt on his face. “I…Gave you just a little bit of a very mild tranquilizer,” he admits.

“You drugged me.”

Ren winces, and she sees a familiar pink blush of embarrassment tinge his cheeks. She’d come to adore that blush on Matt, but seeing it beneath Ren’s harsh black hair, while he’s still wearing the combat suit… It’s bizarre.

“I’m sorry,” he admits quietly. “I need you to be able to stay calm long enough for this conversation.” He drops his gaze to his hands.

 _His hands…_ Anika stares at them, feeling dumbfounded. How had she not noticed? She’d seen Ren’s hands before, she should have recognized them. Both he and Matt had the largest, palest hands she’d ever fantasized intimately about… _And they are both the size of trees…and they both have that odd, angry walk… Am I stupid for not realizing? I must be stupid._

“You aren’t stupid,” Ren breathes. “I should have told you sooner, Anika. I am sorry.”

“To be clear,” she begins, speaking slowly to get the words right. “Are you sorry for drugging me, murdering someone, or lying about your identity?”

“…Most of that,” he replies. When Ren looks up again, his eyes catch hers and she can’t look away. They’re nearly pleading, desperate. “When you admitted your fantasies about me, I just… I wanted to…” he trails off, and that pink blush darkens.

 _Don’t find him attractive now…Stop that…_ But she can’t help it, remembering her lips against his throat, feeling the heat of that blush on his skin. She tears her eyes away as she realizes she’d tugged the Commander of the First Order into a supply closet to molest him… _And he let me… He let me tug him around by the vest and shove him into a closet…_

“But then when you kissed me as Matt, I…I realized you might actually like me,” Ren continues, once again staring with determination at his hands. “Not because of my reputation as the Commander, just…for me.”

His voice is so soft and tender, Anika feels her heart speeding up. _Ugh, no. He lied to me, and made me feel bad for liking two different people when it was the same damn person! No! He is not pouting his way out of this._ But he looks so damn cute, sitting there hanging his head. _Stop it, Anika, he just drugged you and force fed you hot chocolate… But I do love hot chocolate…_ She huffs with frustration at her own conflicted feelings.

The longer she stares at Ren’s pouting lips and messy black hair, the more she finds her totally justified anger dwindling. She licks her lips, a combination of the tranquilizer and sudden nerves making her feel like her head is in the clouds. “I did like you.”

His head snaps up at her words. “Did? You _did_ like me?”

She blinks before realizing she’s accidentally used the past tense. “I-I mean, I do, I just-I’m so confused right now…”

Ren’s eyes look pained for a second before he covers it up, his expression locking into something unreadable. “I understand…”

“I mean you just killed somebody…And they turned into a pile of human colored mush…And I don’t understand how they looked just like you…” Anika rambles, trying to explain.

Ren leans forward. “That was something impersonating me. When it died, it reverted to its true form.”

She raises her eyebrows with skepticism, trying to let that sink in. Her brain feels like it can’t handle much more, however. Regardless of how much tranquilizer or hot chocolate he gives her.

“…Who the fuck? How the fuck?... _What_ the fuck?” _All of the fucks._

“This is much more serious than you realize,” Ren sighs, standing up. “We’re at war.”

“I know that,” Anika insists. Does he think she’s ignorant of the First Order’s situation? “With the Rebels.”

Ren shakes his head once, however. “No. With the blobs.”

She tries to hold back her laughter, and fails. Snorting, choking noises issue from her throat with the intensity of her giggles, a grin breaking out on her face. He must be joking with her, right? This is all a farce? But when Ren’s expression stays completely serious, her laughter dies quickly.

“Oh…You’re being serious,” Anika realizes.


	14. Ch. 14

“Yes,” Ren says tersely. “We were attempting to negotiate a peace treaty with their empire when the relationship…soured.”

“With the blob empire?” Anika clarifies. When he nods, she smothers a snort of laughter that tries to escape. The tranquilizer seems to be affecting her oddly, and she feels loopy. “I’m sorry, there is a species actually named the blobs?”

“Of course not.” He stands and begins pacing the sleeping quarters. “They have a proper name, but it’s a mouthful. So we just started calling them the blobs, because in their natural form… Well, they look like blobs.”

“With blobby feet and blobby heads?”

“Anika.”

Her lips twitch as she attempts to force them into a serious expression at his warning tone of voice. “It was a serious question,” she insists, shuffling over to the side of the bed. She stretches her legs down off the side, but stops before she can stand. She feels woozy still, and ends up staying seated.

Ren stops his pacing to fix her with a stern look. “This isn’t funny. Their true form might be amorphous, but they can turn into anything, disguise themselves as any species they want.”

“Oh.” She doesn’t know what else to say, still drowning in disbelief. _This is absolute nuttery…_

“When the sabotage first started, I thought perhaps one or two had infiltrated. I took up the disguise of a technician hoping to find them out,” he continues to explain. “But now, I think the problem might be much worse. The entire First Order is at risk. Our ranks could be overrun with blobs.”

“Blobs pretending to be people, you mean?” Anika says slowly.

“Yes.”

“That sounds bad.”

“Very.”

Anika frowns as she considers that, the sinister implications shaking the silly feeling she’d been experiencing. _If he wanted me to take things seriously, maybe he shouldn’t have drugged me!_ She sighs, looking away from the commander. If they could look like anyone…

“Fuck!” She sits up straighter, eyes widening with horror as she realizes… _Darial!_

“What is it?”

Anika raises her eyes to Ren, any trace of humor now gone from her mood. “My friend-Darial- she was acting weird the last time I saw her. Kind of like how…how fake Matt-fake you, was acting. Before you stabbed him. And he melted.”

“Darial…” he repeats, looking thoughtful. “Is she your medic friend?”

Anika nods. “Yes.”

“That’s the one Hux is enamored with…” Ren says, his pacing restarting. Anika follows him with her gaze as he makes laps back and forth in front of the bed. “First her, and then you…”

“When she was acting weird, she kept asking me questions about you,” she admits.

He stops again, eyes darkening intensely. “What kind of questions?”

“…If I was going to…Um. Sleep with you,” Anika answers, having to look away from his narrowing eyes. Her cheeks warm with a blush. “She seemed like she was really pushing it, and mentioned how you were high up and powerful.”

“That makes sense.”

“It does?” she raises her eyebrows. _On what planet does any of this make sense?_

“Darial would be in a position to get information from Hux, as you would be in a position to get information from me,” Ren explains quietly. 

“Oh…” Anika swallows nervously before venturing the question that’s been hovering in her mind. She almost doesn’t want an answer, fearing the worst. _Please, no…_ “Darial… I mean the real Darial, is she…?”

She can’t bring herself to complete the question. She doesn’t even want to say aloud the worst outcome, that her friend is dead. Ren’s eyes turn sympathetic as he seems to understand what she’s asking. He comes forward, kneeling in front of her to study her face. Anika tenses up at the sudden proximity, nervous to have the Commander so close to her while his eyes look so soft.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry,” he admits.

Anika drops her gaze, chewing at her lip in an attempt to not begin crying. _What if Darial is dead? What if she’s been dead, and I didn’t know something was wrong? Why didn’t I say anything after she was behaving strangely at the cantina, why didn’t I-_

“Stop,” Ren says gently. Her breath catches when he reaches out, taking her hand in his. “We don’t know much about their biology, or how they mimic the people they copy. But one of our top scientists thinks there might be a mental link, something that allows them to access memories or information.”

Anika stares at her hand, looking small and weak in the vastness of his. While she’s looking, Ren strokes her knuckles with his thumb. Slowly, once, twice. It reminds her of when she’d admitted she liked him, when she thought he was just a newbie radar technician. That was the first time they’d kissed… Something about the memory makes her squeeze his hand with hers. When she looks back up, his eyes are darkened with a mixture of emotion.

“If there’s a mental link…” she muses quietly. _Then…_

“Then it’s possible your friend is still alive,” Ren confirms.

“If she is, we have to save her,” Anika pleads, searching his gaze. “She’s my only friend, and she’s a really good person, and-”

“We’ll do everything we can,” he assures.

She’s taken aback at just how tenderly he speaks to her, despite the fact that she’s seen this side of him before. Matt had spoken to her like that, it was only Commander Ren who was always impatient and gruff. How strange that it was two sides to the same person. _He acts so different when he doesn’t have that helmet on…_

“I’ll go now and have the imposter taken into custody,” he decides. He drops her hand, pulling her from her reverie.

She realizes she’s been staring into his eyes for too long, and looks away quickly. “Jorran mentioned the head doctor in the medbay was acting weird too. You might want to grab him also,” she suggests. “Do you think blob Darial will tell you if real Darial is still alive?”

“I doubt she’ll cooperate, and I haven’t had a lot of practice getting into their minds,” the commander admits. “It’s…difficult. Their mental framework is different from most species. But if I can break through, I could get something from her.”

Anika nods. “If Darial’s alive, she has to be somewhere on base still. If we even knew a general area to search…” she gives up, sighing. 

“I’ll have my Knights search the base,” Ren offers, standing. “For now, I need you to stay here. They’ve targeted you, you can’t be out on your own.”

Anika looks around, frowning. “Don’t I have my own quarters?”

“I’d prefer you be here, where I know you’re safe. No one can access my suite without me,” he insists, tone growing almost business-like. “I’ll be back. Try to get some rest.”

She nods, watching the commander retrieve his helmet and gloves and start for the hallway. “Wait!” she cries out, suddenly panicking.

Ren stops, giving her a questioning glance. Anika fidgets under his scrutiny, searching for a way to explain her sudden fear of him leaving. What guarantee does she have that the person walking back through the door will really be him? She’s already terrified that she might have lost Darial forever. She doesn’t want to lose…whatever he is to her, as well.

“How do I know it’s you when you get back, Sir?” Anika asks finally.

He frowns. “You know, you don’t have to call me Sir in private anymore...”

Anika gulps. Somehow, the prospect of not calling her commander Sir anymore makes her even more nervous. Perhaps because she’s sitting on his bed while he blushes again, looking down sheepishly at the helmet in his hands. _Who knew Commander Ren would blush so much…_

“Um. What would you like me to call you in private?” she asks.

He shakes his head minutely, before raising his eyes to hers. She takes a quick breath at the guarded look he gives her. _Force, he’s pretty…_

“Just Kylo is fine.”

“So how do I know it’s really you, and not another freaky, fake blob-you?” Anika pushes. The last thing she needs is to kiss another alien imposter pretending to be him. The thought nearly makes her gag.

“They can’t use the force,” Ren says after a moment, gesturing with his hand towards where she sits. The blankets that were left in a crumpled pile on the bed straighten, back into smooth layers on the mattress. “Therefore a fake me wouldn’t be able to use it, either.”

_Great. I’ll just demand you force juggle with your mind to prove it._

**Night on Base**

Anika can’t sleep. She tried laying down on the couch, but couldn’t seem to relax. Too much has happened in too little time. And some part of her is resistant to just taking a snooze in Kylo Ren’s bed, even with what she now knows. Her brain can’t stop running over every memory of her and Matt, trying to shove Kylo Ren into his place. Her experiences with Matt were nothing like what she would have imagined being around the Commander to be… Had he let his guard down when pretending to be a technician like her?

Her face feels hot as she realizes all the times she’d talked about Ren…to Ren. _Kriff, I told him that I thought about him to get off. In detail._ Her cheeks are scorching as she makes a miserable face. Only she would somehow get herself into this situation. She’d always had a knack for being oblivious, but this…this was next level.

_Literally the only human being in the entire base that I talk about Commander Ren to…and he IS Commander fucking Ren. Brilliant._

Suddenly the absence of Matt’s device from the hangar bay access log makes so much more sense. Did he even have a separate device for his “Matt” persona? Or had she been messaging Ren directly every time she thought she was talking to her fellow technician? Matt’s sudden disappearances make sense now, too…

_He might as well have slapped me in the face with his lightsaber. I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out…_

Then again, who in their right mind would assume a lowly technician to secretly be the Master of the Knights of Ren, in a blonde wig? Anika has to admit she much prefers his natural hair color to the blonde. Though she might miss those oversized glasses. Somehow, they had looked adorable on him… _Is it okay to call the commander ‘adorable’?_

Anika gets up from the couch, wandering randomly through Ren’s quarters. The dizziness is abating enough that she feels steady on her feet as she explores. His quarters are fairly expansive, complete with a sitting room, a small dining nook, and a kitchenette off the hallway. It might even be nice, if it weren’t for the fact that everything was in shades of black.

She opens his bathroom door, only to let her jaw practically hit the floor. _He has a fucking tub!?_

Never has a plumbing fixture looked so magnificent. It isn’t just any tub, Anika nearly groans with arousal at the sight of it. It’s a soaker tub, deep and glorious in its capacity for relaxation. She wants nothing more than to fling her clothes to the floor and dive into Ren’s tub, especially after everything she’s been through recently. But she resists, loath to make this entire bizarre experience any stranger by having Ren return to find her passed out in a bubble bath.

She forces herself to shut the door again, roaming out to the living area. There’s a console near the hatch door that the cleaning droids must access the suite through. She approaches it, tapping her finger on the screen and waiting for it to load. Anika’s surprised to see a…menu.

 _Not only does he get a tub, he also gets room service?_ She’s been eating gruel and soggy sausages with the rest of the masses, while the officers and commander apparently get the gourmet treatment. _Bullshit._

Anika swipes through the options, her eyes widening as she goes. No wonder he’d been so disgusted with cafeteria food. She chews at her lip, debating her options before selecting the special. If Ren had a problem with her ordering food to his quarters, maybe he could try some tranquilizers himself. She’d be happy to stab a needle of them in his ass, as some form of petty payback for the panic attack he gave her. _He at least owes me dinner after lying to me for so long…_

Of course, if she is being honest with herself, Anika has to admit she understands why he’d kept up the disguise. If he was undercover to discover who was secretly a blob, he couldn’t just out himself the first time a girl kissed him. And yet, she can’t help but feel cranky with him for his deception. _Whatever, I can be petty if I want to be petty…_

**Later**

The hatch opens, and a serving droid rolls through with her food on a fancy platter. It smells delicious, and Anika thanks the droid when she takes the tray from it. Only to scowl a moment later when she lifts the cover and sees…

“Mushrooms,” she spits out the word like it’s the worst swear word imaginable.

 _This has to be the universe telling me to go fuck myself._ The food looks fantastic, except for the fact that her least favorite fungus friend is sliced and sautéed over the top of it. Anika grumbles under her breath, carrying the plate to the trash can to scrape off the offending topping. She’d actually enjoyed mushrooms in food, but that was before her nightmarish crash landing on their home world. _I may never eat another mushroom again…_

When she’s thoroughly picked them off the meal, she curses as she plops down at the little dining table. The serving droid gives a sad dwooo-ing sound.

“It’s not your fault,” she reassures it, looking up to see it still hovering there by the hatch. Anika cocks her head however, noticing something odd when she looks at it more carefully. She abandons the meal to approach it, dropping down in front of its tread.

“What’s that wired into your chassis?” she asks curiously, following the wire. It’s hanging loose, clearly indicating either something unusual or poor maintenance.

The droid gives a series of beeps and whirs, and she drops her hand at what it says. “A camera!? Where?”

A moment later, and she’s identified the device. It’s been wired into the poor droid’s battery, but she’s able to get it loose without damaging its operating system. The camera is small, and as soon as she disconnects it from the droid, the light in the corner of its lens dies to black. _What the hell…_

**Much Later**

Anika deactivated the droid, keeping it and the camera to show to Ren whenever he returns. It’s ridiculously late at night. Despite her best attempts to keep herself up waiting for him to come back, she’s starting to yawn more and more frequently. She finally gives up, shuffling into the bedroom and staring at the black sheets on Ren’s bed. _Kylo’s bed._

Anika sighs. _Kylo._ It’s going to take some getting used to thinking of him that way. He is no longer her intimidating masked supervisor, nor is he her awkward but cute coworker. Now, he is some mish-moshed amalgam of the two.

She shuffles over towards the mattress, sitting at the edge. _Nothing to see here. Just crawling into Commander Ren’s bed…perfectly normal thing to do…_ She lays down awkwardly on her side, as close to the edge as possible. She can practically feel the indent where Ren must sleep, dead in the center of the bed. _Wonder what he wears when he sleeps…_

There’s a mechanical noise as the door to his quarters slides open, and Anika jumps up so fast she tweaks a muscle in her side. She rushes towards the door, faltering to a stop when Ren rips the helmet off his head and hurls it into the wall of the living area. The black paneling is left dented, his helmet clattering to the ground. _Uh oh... he is pissed..._

The barrage of questions she was about to pepper him with suddenly seem less important, as Ren fumes, fists clenched. “We grabbed the medic, she’s locked up now in interrogation. But we weren’t able to catch the head doctor. He somehow got tipped off and is hiding out, somewhere on base. The Knights are searching for him,” Ren snaps out.

“O-oh,” Anika stutters nervously. He looks murderous, and she _definitely_ should not find that as attractive as she does.

“I confirmed it is a blob impersonating your friend, but I wasn’t able to break into its mind,” he continues ranting. “I can try again in the morning-Why are you still up? It’s 3 am and you’re still recovering. You should be resting.”

Her eyes widen at how quickly his voice changed from angry to concerned. Anika fidgets under his sudden, worried scrutiny. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Ren’s brow furrows. “Do you feel okay? I can get another med droid in here.”

“N-no, that’s alright-”

“Why is there a deactivated serving droid in the corner?” he asks suddenly, and she follows his gaze to where the poor droid that brought her dinner is crumpled over.

“Oh! Right, I forgot. I ordered food, and the serving droid that brought it had a camera planted on it.”

Ren’s expression shifts right back to furious within a second. “A camera?”

Anika walks over to the table she’d left it on, holding it out to him. “This.”

Ren snatches the small device from her hand, growling with irritation. “They failed to mimic you, so now they’re going to attempt to spy on me. This just keeps getting better.”

“It looks like they were using the droid to broadcast the signal, so-” Anika is cut off when Ren squeezes his hand, crunching the camera into pieces in his fist. Her jaw drops when he opens his fingers, releasing the broken bits in a shower onto the floor. _…Please smash me like that…_

Her cheeks redden at the depraved thought in her mind, as she drags her eyes away from the pulverized bit of technology. Surely that thought was just leftover from the mushroom toxin… _Yeah, the mushroom toxin…that’s it… Certainly not the fact that he is sinfully hot when he’s angry._

“We’ll have to find out who worked on that droid last in maintenance,” Ren growls, yanking his gloves off and hurling them at the couch.

She nods, mutely agreeing.

“You should get some rest for tonight,” Ren declares, grabbing a datapad off the table before letting himself drop heavily onto one of the chairs. “Tomorrow I’ll see if we can get a track on the device the droid transmitted to.”

“Right…” Anika agrees, hesitating. Perhaps she’d been foolish, but she had been hoping the imposter would confess if Darial was still alive. Now she just feels disappointed at the lack of news, and still worried for her friend.

He must sense her mood, because he looks up, expression softening. The anger fades from his features. “You look exhausted. Are you sure you don’t need a med droid? Some sedatives might-”

Anika narrows her eyes, glaring at him at the suggestion. “I don’t need sedatives. Or tranquilizers,” she complains. “You can’t just drug me every time I’m upset.”

Ren, surprisingly, lowers his gaze. He almost looks self-conscious. “I apologized for that. But you were hyperventilating, and I don’t want you to relapse. You were very ill not that long ago,” he replies carefully. 

Anika sighs. “I could use a drink. Maybe that’ll help me sleep.”

Kylo sits down the datapad, heading over to the kitchenette. She watches him curiously, surprised when he pulls a bottle of Tarisian ale from one of the cupboards. It’s unopened, but he cracks the seal and pours it into a small tumbler.

She raises her eyebrow curiously when he hands her the drink. “Thanks…”

“Of course.”

Anika takes a sip, examining Ren as he stares down, studying the bottle. He looks awkward, as if he’s not quite sure what else to say or do with her here in his quarters. Then again, even as Matt he’d been a little awkward with the small talk, she thinks. She bites her lip, suddenly wanting to help put him at ease.

“Aren’t you going to have some? Might help you to relax, too,” she suggests.

But Kylo shakes his head slightly. “I don’t drink.”

Anika opens her mouth, about to ask why he would have a bottle in his room if he doesn’t drink alcohol. But the thought fades as something much more urgent takes its place. _Neither did blob Darial…_

She takes a quick step back from Ren, followed by a second, suspicion blooming at the coincidence. He looks up, confused. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m going to need you to use the force on something. Or take a drink,” Anika demands cautiously. “Or preferably, both.”

“What? Why? I’m not a blob,” Kylo argues.

“That’s exactly what a blob would say.”

“Anika-“

“Kylo.”

His first name alone sounds a little weird on her tongue, but she fills it with determination. She meets his disgruntled stare with challenging eyes, holding out her own glass. _Please, please just drink it…_

For a moment there’s tense silence, but then he shoots his hand out to take the tumbler. Anika watches as he downs it in one gulp, shoving the empty glass back at her hand.

“And the force?” she presses.

Kylo’s eyes narrow, and he holds his hand out. When he crooks his fingers in a beckoning motion, she slides forward. Anika’s feet slip right across the shiny black floor, until she nearly falls forward at the loss of balance. He catches her before she tumbles into his chest, leaving his hands on her shoulders after she regains her footing.

“Content?” he demands quietly.

She looks up at Ren’s face, swallowing heavily. His brown eyes flicker between hers, searching, his full lips in a terse line. Her own gaze can’t stop twitching downwards, wanting to linger at his lips. Anika’s palms feel sweaty, clammy with sudden nerves as she can feel something grow between her and Ren. There’s a sudden tension as he holds her close, grip unrelenting. It reminds her of that night on his shuttle, when he’d attacked her mouth like a hungry animal.

“Fake Darial wouldn’t drink with me,” Anika rushes to explain. “Do you think that’s a coincidence, or could it be a blob thing?”

Kylo is silent for a moment, long enough that she’s beginning to really feel nervous. Her eyes dart again to his lips, remembering how gentle they’d felt in the storage room, and how brutal they’d been in the dark shuttle. _I don’t even know which I liked more…_

“Let’s find out,” he suggests.


	15. Ch. 15

How silly she had been, hoping Kylo had meant to find out what kind of kiss she liked more… _Nope._

That would have been a preferable way to spend the early morning hours. Instead, she’s now trailing him as he marches along the corridor towards the interrogation cells. The base is always colder at night, and she tries to not shiver in her short-sleeved shirt. _Why didn’t I put something warmer on?_

 _Oh, right… All of my clothes are who knows where._ Anika tries to ignore the few officers and troopers they pass, even as their heads whip around to do a double take. She’s just a tech after all, and it’s probably a bit odd looking that she’s carrying a bottle of liquor as she practically runs after their commander. He doesn’t even seem to realize that he’s forcing her to scamper to keep up, his head focused straight ahead on their destination.

The two stormtroopers jump out of the way as they arrive, and Ren ignores their nods to sweep into the interrogation wing. The lighting seems dimmer in this part of the base, and Anika peers into the empty cells as they pass. They turn a corner, and she spots one of his Knights ahead.

He bows quickly. “Master.”

“Has she said anything since I left?”

“No, Master.”

Kylo snaps his hand minutely, and the cell door behind the Knight unlocks with a clang. It flings open, and Anika hesitates before following him into the small room. But she stops just inside the bars at the sight of Darial, restrained by cuffs to the wall. She’s secured at both her ankles and wrists, and she gives Anika a terrified look when their eyes meet.

Anika’s heart sinks with despair, guilty at the sight of her friend like this. She looks absolutely scared to death. Could this really be some alien faking? _What if it’s actually Darial, what if this is all a mistake…?_

“It’s not your friend,” Kylo reminds, his voice sounding stern through the mask. “You have to remember that.”

Anika tears her eyes away from the perfect replication of her best friend to nod. _It’s not Darial… It just looks exactly like Darial…_ She lifts the bottle to take a swig of the ale, wincing as it burns her throat on the way down. _It’s not Darial…Don’t feel bad for her…_

Kylo approaches the prisoner slowly, pacing forward like a lion eyeing up its prey. She gnaws at her lip nervously, trying to remind herself that Ren isn’t about to torture her real best friend. She takes a second drink, hoping it will steady her nerves.

Kylo comes to a stop before the blob, his head cocking slightly to the side as he observes her. “Are you ready to begin again?” he asks, voice threatening. 

Darial’s eyes widen, and she shakes her head, pulling at the cuffs at her wrists. “Please, please you have this all wrong!” she cries out. “Please don’t hurt me again.”

“Stop resisting,” Ren orders, raising one of his hands into the air. Anika watches the fingers of his glove splay and slowly curl, and fake Darial whimpers with pain. It’s the only sign that he is using the force to try to read her thoughts.

“Your minds are like a maze, but I promise you…I will break through eventually,” the Commander growls, stepping closer to the imposter. Anika’s breathing quickens, intimidated by how predatory Kylo seems like this. Despite all her silly fantasies, she’s suddenly grateful to have never been on the receiving end of one of his interrogations for real.

Darial winces with pain, trying to look away from Ren. When her eyes land on Anika’s, she pleads. “Anika, please, you have to make him let me go!”

She gulps, fighting against the guilt. _She’s not Darial, don’t feel bad, don’t feel bad-_

“Please, please, Anika, tell him it’s me!” she cries. “Make him stop, it’s me, Anika!”

Anika’s fingers tighten around the neck of the bottle with anxiety. It may not be her friend, but it definitely sounds just like Darial. She tears her eyes away from the scene, unable to watch.

“Please!” the imposter cries out sharply. “Anika, he’s hurting me-”

“Enough!” Kylo snaps. Darial’s head rocks back against the wall, her mouth gaping open as he apparently silences her with the force. “She isn’t helping you. No one is going to help you.”

Her face begins to darken red before he releases her, and she gulps for air. Kylo reaches out, snatching Darial’s face in his glove and forcing her to look away from Anika and up towards his mask instead. “Tell me where the girl is. If she’s alive, maybe I’ll spare you life,” he hisses.

For a moment, Darial’s eyes hold lingering panic. But then her expression shifts, so rapidly that its startling. Her eyes narrow, her chin lifting defiantly as she meets Ren’s mask with a glare. The last worm of guilt wiggles loose from Anika’s chest, as she suddenly sees proof this isn’t her friend. She’s never seen an expression so filled with hate on the real Darial’s face.

“It doesn’t matter if you spare my life,” the imposter hisses. “Kill me, and there will be a hundred more. You are outnumbered.”

Kylo drops his hand, taking a step back from her. “Outnumbered?” he repeats.

Darial smiles slowly, but she says nothing. Kylo waits another moment, before the cell flashes red. Anika flinches as his saber is suddenly ignited, held barely a millimeter from the imposter’s cheekbone. The smile falls from her face, her eyes twitching downwards towards the spitting beam of light.

“You’re surrounded,” she taunts. “All of the First Order’s warships and weapons, all built for nothing. You can’t defend against us.”

“You’ve invaded the base?” Ren demands quietly.

“Oh… more than that,” Darial breathes, her face glowing red from the lightsaber. For a moment, silence falls in the cell. Anika searches Ren’s mask, but she can’t figure out what he’s thinking. He’s frozen with tension, the only sound the crackling of his weapon.

 _How much more could they have infiltrated? The entire First Order?_ Anika might not be in a command position, but even she knows this is bad. Very, very, very bad…

Kylo steps back finally, turning off the lightsaber. Fake Darial relaxes slightly as he turns his back to her, pacing across the cell towards the bars. Anika steps forward, daring to speak to the blob. “I need to know where the woman you’re impersonating is. Is she alive?”

The prisoner turns her face towards her slowly, almost lazily, before smirking. “Poor Anika. Are you scared you’ve lost your only friend?”

Anika tries to control her temper, but the alcohol has made her blood heat up in her veins and she feels anger flare at the mocking. It’s perhaps partially due to the fact that it’s true. Darial was her only friend, and the idea of losing her is terrifying. She’d always been a good friend, and Anika feels like she owes it to her to find her.

“Do you want me to tell you what Darial really thinks of you?” the imposter continues. “Clingy, needy Anika with her immature little fantasies and her blabber mouth. Darial only befriended you because she felt bad for you, because you’re too annoying for anyone else to-”

Ren whirls around angrily, striding forward. “Stop lying, befo-”

He’s cut off by the sound of Anika’s free hand connecting with the woman’s face as she slaps her as hard as she can. The blob is shocked into silence, glaring at her as a handprint blotches red on her cheek. Anika feels like her head is buzzing with a combination of fury and the buzz of liquor. _You blobby bitch…_

“I didn’t ask for your bullshit. I asked where my friend is,” she demands, her hand stinging. 

Blob Darial rolls her eyes as if she’s bored. “You’ll never find her.”

Anika tries to curl both of her hands into fists, only to realize she’s still hanging onto the bottle of alcohol. She lifts it, looking between its label and Darial’s face. The woman cuffed to the wall frowns, her own eyes darting down at the bottle.

“You never did have that drink with me…” Anika taunts.

“Don’t.”

She isn’t imagining the sudden nervousness in the imposter’s eyes, the new tension in her voice. Darial shifts, wiggling her wrists inside the cuffs, pressing back into the wall. Her eyes keep flicking towards the bottle of liquor. _We may have something here…_

“Tell me where the real Darial is. I’m not asking again,” Anika asks, stepping closer.

The imposter wrinkles up her nose at the bottle but shakes her head. “No. Go space yourself.”

_Well, fuck it._

Anika lunges forward, grabbing her head and tilting her mouth up. Darial shakes her head wildly, trying to avoid the inevitable, but Anika persists. She tilts the bottle until it pours down into her fake friend’s mouth.

Half of it misses, splashing onto her chin and cheeks. But enough hits the target that the blob starts screaming and thrashing inside her restraints. Anika nearly drops the bottle in her haste to step back when something strange starts happening to the woman. Her skin is bubbling, boiling almost, and Anika’s eyes widen with disgusted fascination at the reaction to the drink.

The scream is silenced, replaced instead by more frothing, liquid sounds as Darial’s face collapses inward. Her body melts, oozing down out of the restraints to form a pile of flesh colored goo. The clothes she was wearing half crumple down on top of the spreading mess. Though the shirt stays bizarrely stuck to the wall, the sleeves still pinned by the cuffs. It drips with the liquefied remains of the blob.

Anika feels bile surge up her throat and she turns away, gagging. A minute of silence passes while she fights nausea, and Kylo says nothing.

But then he speaks up. “Watch out, it’s getting close to your feet.”

Anika looks down, only to yelp with disgust and jump back at the sight of the bubbling sludge approaching the toes of her shoes. _Fuck, that is disgusting, fuck fuckfuckfuck-_

“You know…” Ren begins slowly. “Usually you don’t kill the prisoner until after the interrogation yields information.”

_Is he really criticizing my interrogation techniques?_

Anika has to force herself to look away from the mess that was once a Darial-shaped humanoid to try to compose herself. Her hands are shaking, a leftover effect of adrenaline and anger. And she is frustratingly no closer to figuring out if her friend is still alive, or where she might be.

She looks at Ren’s mask, shrugging with defeat. “It’s my first time,” she points out. “With interrogating, I mean. I didn’t know it would kill her.”

The buzz of a sigh filtering through Kylo’s mask is her only response and she follows it with one of her own. He has a valid point. Now they have no prisoner to interrogate for answers. She let her anger get the best of her and made a mess of things. _Literally…_

Though… They’ve discovered something useful, haven’t they?

“To be fair, now we know more than we did,” Anika points out. Kylo turns his mask back towards her, and she takes that to be a questioning gesture. “Alcohol is the solution.”

He stares at her. “I mean…only in this case,” she amends. “In this specific scenario.”

“I guess it does give us another way to test for infiltrators,” Kylo concedes.

“REN!”

Anika is startled by the shout coming from outside the jail cell. She and Kylo both turn towards the sound.

She peers through the bars, seeing nothing for a second. But then General Hux comes into view, storming down the line of cells towards them. He looks furious. His usually heavily gelled down hair is loose and messy, half of it stuck up at a strange angle as if he’d been sleeping on it.

“You’ve gone too far this time, Ren!” he rants, hesitating at the sight one of the Knights outside the cell door. But then Hux seems to gather his courage and continues, shoving right passed the knight. Anika steps out of his way, making room for him in the small cell.

“What do you think you’re doing with my girlfriend?” Hux demands, coming to a stop in front of the Commander. “Ren!?”

Kylo says nothing, only raises a hand. He gestures with his thumb, pointing back over his shoulder at the wall. Hux looks beyond Ren, and his mouth falls open in horror at the sight. There are Darial’s clothes, crumpled on top of her boots except for the shirt still hanging like a horrendous reminder. And there is the still bubbling, still spreading, melted chunks of…

Anika gags and has to look away again. _Fuck that._

Hux’s mouth is hanging open like a fish gaping, strange choking noises coming from his throat. He looks between Ren’s mask and the mess in shock, his face tinging red.

Anika holds out the bottle of liquor, unsure how else to be of assistance. “Here, Sir. Drink this,” she suggests.

Hux stares at the bottle in her hand for one long moment, before he snatches it and lifts it to his mouth. He practically chugs the contents, gulping down the alcohol in a way that is downright impressive.

Kylo looks at her and gestures at Hux drinking, and Anika shrugs halfheartedly. “Well, now we know he’s not a blob,” she points out.

**Later**

The sun is already coming up on the icy world outside the base windows by the time they make it back to Ren’s quarters. Anika had awkwardly hovered around, trying to stay unnoticed while Kylo debriefed Hux on everything that’s happened. To his credit, Hux had quickly taken everything into stride, despite the initial shock.

They’d sent him off to the bridge, visibly inebriated, with the Knight as a security guard. Hux planned on reaching out to higher command and the Supreme Leader with news of the…unique problem on base. Then she assumed someone much higher up than her would come up with a plan to deal with the blobs. Kylo hadn’t said much about what that plan might be on their walk to the dormitory level, and she hasn’t asked.

When they reach the door to his rooms, Kylo opens it and gestures for her to enter. Anika is exhausted and stressed enough that she doesn’t even bother with feeling awkward anymore in his space. She just marches right in like she owns the place. She needs sleep, needs to shove her face into a pillow and forget all of the craziness for a little while.

Kylo pauses inside the door to remove his helmet, but Anika doesn’t wait. She shoves her shoes off as she goes, half tripping on them but not stopping until she reaches the bed. Then she crawls into the black sheets, burrowing down beneath the covers until she is surrounded by nothing but darkness.

She’s freezing, not used to being up and about on base during the especially cold early morning hours. She curls into a ball beneath the blankets, hoping Kylo soon lays down in the bed to help warm it up. The thought of that makes her stomach dance with nerves, but Anika tries to reassure herself. _You’ve already kissed him…multiple times. You can certainly sleep beside him._

The sliver of light just visible at the top of her vision, where the sheet doesn’t quite cover her head, blinks out. The room is pitched into darkness. Anika waits nervously to feel the mattress move with Kylo’s weight, or for the blankets to shift.

Several minutes later, and she’s still waiting. _What is taking him so long…_

She nuzzles her face loose from the blankets to peer around the darkened room. She doesn’t spot Kylo anywhere in the bedroom. “…K…Kylo?” she asks tentatively, half stuttering the name she isn’t used to using.

His reply comes immediately. “What’s wrong?”

Anika frowns. It sounds like he is out in the seating area. “Um. Nothing. Where are you?” she calls.

“…The couch.”

 _Why the fuck are you on the couch?_ “Why?” she asks the darkness.

He doesn’t answer immediately, but when he does, he sounds unsure. “I was trying…to give you the bed.”

“It’s your bed,” Anika reminds him, irritated. She’s tired, all she wants is to be warm and pass out. Kylo doesn’t reply, only fueling her irritation.

She shoves the blankets down with a sigh, shivering immediately when the cold air greets her again. She marches out of the bedroom, towards the living area. She wraps her arms around herself, try to conserve her meager body heat, mentally ranting as she goes. _I am cold, and I am tired, and I am sick of all this crazy shit, and I just want to sleep and I-_

She stops thinking mid-rant when she sees Kylo, as a shape darker than the furniture, spilling off of the couch. He doesn’t even have a blanket on, just a dark shirt and pants. Gone is his combat clothing, his cloak, his gloves. Everything that made him look like Commander Ren is missing, and it makes her hesitate. Despite her time with Matt, working in various places on base, and her time with the Commander, bickering on the mushroom world… she feels she doesn’t know the man sprawled out in front of her nearly well enough.

One of his legs is dangling from the side of the cushions, and the other is shoved up over the armrest awkwardly. He lifts the arm that he’s thrown over his face to look at her.

“That looks ridiculously uncomfortable,” Anika comments, aware of how unbelievably cold the hard floor beneath her socks is at this ridiculous time of morning.

“I’m fine,” he insists. “Go to sleep.”

“Just come to the bed,” she sighs.

“I’m trying to give you space,” Kylo explains stubbornly. 

_Oh, for fuck’s sake._ Anika throws caution to the wind, marching forward to grab her Commander by the arm and tugging in an attempt to dislodge him from the couch. It doesn’t work, he doesn’t even budge.

“What are you doing?” he asks, sounding unamused. But he doesn’t pull his arm loose from her grip, letting her try her hardest.

Anika growls with frustration. She tightens her grip on his forearm and tries to use her body weight for leverage as she pulls at him. “Getting you off the couch and into the bed,” she pants, leaning her entire body backwards. It does absolutely nothing. He might as well be a block of ferrocrete, she can’t even get his shoulder to move despite her best attempts.

“Are you seriously this weak?” Kylo asks.

She narrows her eyes at the tone he uses, something that sounds almost mocking. “I’m not weak, you’re just massive,” she retorts.

Kylo jerks his arm suddenly, opposite the way she’d been pulling. She’s tugged off balance and topples forwards towards the couch. Anika lets go of his arm to catch herself, one of her hands planting on the back of the furniture and the other squarely onto Kylo’s chest.

“No, you seem pretty weak to me,” he remarks.

Anika tries to not pay attention to the muscle she can feel beneath her hand, the heat practically radiating from his chest into her chilled skin. But she’s closer to him now, close enough that she can see his dark eyes focused on her. A smirk toys with his lips, and her mind blanks as she is struck with attraction. _Kriff…_

She forces herself to look away from that smirk on his handsome face, blinking and instead focusing on her hand. It’s so small compared to the broadness of his chest, and she gulps, fighting the temptation. But he feels so warm and solid, so appealing. As she is frozen there above him, he snakes a hand around her thigh.

Kylo tugs her closer, nearly upsetting her fragile balance. And part of her wants him to, wants to be pulled down on top of him. But she’s also still freezing, and just as stubborn as him. _I just wanted to sleep, not hump him on his couch… Why is he so sexy…?_

Kylo’s eyes narrow as he seems to grow curious. “What was that?”

Anika frowns. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You were thinking something.”

She makes a grumpy face, feeling petulant. His reading her thoughts is an extra complication in an already messy dynamic between them. “Maybe I was thinking that I’m exhausted and freezing cold, and it would be so nice to have a man in bed to warm me up,” she suggests. “But here you are, on the couch. Being a stubborn idiot.”

“Idiot?” he repeats.

Anika gulps at the growl in his voice. Kylo moves so fast she doesn’t have time to attempt to retreat. He hikes her legs up, tugging her forward and off her feet. She topples onto him, like a clumsy pile of limbs. His chest shakes underneath her with silent laughter.

She pushes off him, fighting to free herself from his entangling arms. When she is upright again, she scowls down at him.

“Fine. I’ll just go freeze to death in your bed. Alone,” she complains. Anika tries to leave him there, but he catches her hand to hold her back.

“Do you want the Commander of the First Order to serve as your personal body warmer?” Kylo asks, his condescending tone suggesting the request is ridiculous.

But when she looks back at him, his face doesn’t match his voice. His eyes search hers, something eager in their dark depths. His hand slides up, wrapping around her wrist and anchoring her there so she can’t escape.

Anika hesitates, the nerves returning to her with a vengeance. But she nods, forcing herself to murmur, “Yes.”

Kylo’s eyes flicker between hers, his lips twitching as if he’s holding back a smile. “Fine.”


	16. Ch. 16

Anika hadn’t thought far enough ahead to have a plan for the actual cuddling. Unfortunately, once they’re in the bed together they both seem uncertain how to approach it. She’d like to attribute her own awkwardness to being out of practice. Plus, she is still adjusting to him being the Commander Ren of her best sexual nightmares…She scoots down under the covers, hoping Kylo will make the first move.

Instead, he asks, “How did you want to…?”

“Um,” Anika mutters nervously. “Do you sleep on your back or side?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

She huffs slightly at his unhelpful response. She can already feel his body heat on the other side of the bed, like some homing beacon her frigid body is drawn to. “Do you want to spoon?”

“Spoon?” Kylo repeats doubtfully.

Anika furrows her brow. “Um. Yes. Spoon?” _Do you seriously not know what spooning is?_

“Just repeating the word isn’t going to help me understand what you’re talking about,” Kylo points out.

She takes a deep breath, trying to settle her raging nerves. She’s touched him before, but somehow the deliberateness of this is cranking up her anxiety. Their physical contact before had been spontaneous, not this intentional bringing together of their bodies. And Kylo seems unusually reserved, since she’d taken his hand to lead him to the bed.

“Turn on your side towards me?” she suggests, before proceeding to back up, arranging herself against him. Mercifully, he seems to understand what she’s going for and assists, contouring himself along the backside of her body.

Anika fidgets for a moment, pulling the corner of his pillow down over his arm for her head and tucking her hair out of the way. But she soon stops moving when she feels her body warming at the contact, his heat radiating into her underneath the blankets. _Oh, that’s nice…_

“Comfortable?” he breathes, and she shivers at the way his breath tickles the back of her neck. Kylo seems to mistake it for a cold shiver, and he wraps his arm around her waist to pull her back more snugly into his chest.

“Yes,” she admits quietly, letting her eyes fall closed. In fact, if she’s being honest, she’s incredibly comfortable… His mattress is so much nicer than hers, which had always felt like it punished her for daring to lay on it.

For a few minutes they both adjust, slowly finding ways to press closer to one another. She has a feeling he’s as out of practice with this sort of thing as she is. He moves carefully, as if worried he’ll cross a line she doesn’t want crossed. Though maybe this is normal for a first time, she wouldn’t really know. Anika hadn’t cuddled much with men much before, had never had the type of relationship where they would stick around for it.

His arm tightens around her, almost like he’s locking her against him. In the dark, she can forget about him being the Commander. He just feels warm and human, the steady sound of his breathing easing her nervousness.

Anika finds his hand on her waist, tracing her fingers over Kylo’s. When he doesn’t stop her, she continues. Up and over the back of his hand, finding the soft hair and muscle of his forearm and slowly exploring it. Eventually she retreats back, tracing the outline of his fingers, up and around each long digit, feeling the shape of each nail and knuckle.

Anika can actually hear when he swallows nervously, her own breath catching when he nuzzles into her hair. His breathing starts to deepen the longer she caresses him, his body relaxing against hers. The muscles of his arm relent, slackening at last.

She wonders how long it’s been since he’s been touched like this. _I never heard rumors about him having girlfriends… or even one-night stands…_ But surely there had to be someone else on the ship, another woman that he’d let close? _I can’t be the only woman he’s had in his bed here._

“Just you,” Kylo murmurs, his voice sleepy.

Anika is confused, before she realizes he’s replied to her thoughts. She considers what he’s said, understanding now why he’d been so frozen the first time she’d kissed him. Had he not kissed her back due to inexperience? Had his reputation as a raging, murderous force user on base worked too well for him?

Her sleepiness is returning, tugging at her brain. Kylo shifts, tucking her hand beneath his. Between finally feeling warm and his body pressed securely against her, Anika feels herself giving in to sleep. Her mind relents, relaxing and turning itself off.

**Late Morning**

Anika wakes up slightly disoriented, with the vague kind of headache that comes with not getting quite enough sleep. She blinks with confusion at the strange surroundings. _Where…am I? What the hell…_ She pushes up from the mattress, only to recoil in shock at the sight of Commander Ren’s mask suddenly looming over her. Anika squeaks, sliding on silky sheets as she tries to retreat. It takes a second before her mind catches up with her body.

“Sorry,” he mutters, stepping back when he sees her panicked expression.

Anika stops her sleepy escape attempt as soon as her memories from the previous day refresh themselves. _Kylo-It’s just Kylo._

“I’m sorry, I just wasn’t expecting-” she hesitates, before waving vaguely at his head-to-toe armor and cloak. “All that when I woke up. And I think I forgot where I fell asleep.”

“You’ve had a lot to adjust to, in the last day or so,” Kylo offers. “…Maybe I should have waited to put the mask on until after I woke you up…”

“No, it’s fine,” Anika tries to assure him. _I like waking up in a panic, starts the day off right…_ She suddenly can feel how messy her hair is, and self consciously tries to fix it.

“I, um, just wanted to let you know I’m leaving to meet with Hux,” Kylo explains, the mask turning from her as if he’s trying to not stare at her in his bed. “Then I’ll be going undercover as Matt again, to investigate the maintenance bay.”

“The maintenance bay?” Anika questions, abandoning her attempts to straighten her hair.

“To see who snuck the camera onto the serving droid. I want to know who is trying to spy on me,” he replies. “Ap’lek is outside my suite. He can take you to get some things from your quarters and when you’re ready, bring you to join me.”

“Oh. Okay,” Anika answers, trying to sound upbeat despite feeling morning crabby. Her body is not pleased with the few hours of sleep she’d grabbed, and it is demanding a caffa sacrifice. “Sounds…good.”

_My man, Ap’lek. Hope he doesn’t talk my ear off again._

**Later**

Ap’lek is unsurprisingly silent as he escorts her down the hallway to her quarters. Anika is still sleepy enough to not bother talking either, shuffling along behind his cloak and rubbing at a sore spot in her muscles. She feels like she’s hunched slightly due to the tension in her lower back, and can only guess it’s from the softer mattress she isn’t used to. _Or something else…Like sleeping with an erect lightsaber jabbed in my back._

Ap’lek’s head twists sharply as he peers back at her, and Anika furrows her brows in confusion. He’s barely acknowledged her existence so far, but now he’s scoping her out as if curious. Though honestly, she would have no idea if his expression is one of curiosity. The disturbing masks all of the Knights insist on wearing makes it hard to guess at their moods.

“Um? Is there… Did I do something wrong?” she asks hesitantly when he comes to a stop.

But Ap’lek shakes his head, instead gesturing at the door they’ve paused in front of. Anika stares at it before recognizing the suite number as her new living assignment. When she steps forward to open the door, Ap’lek enters in front of her with his weapon ready. She hangs around by the door of the suite, admiring how much more space her new accommodations provide. Her last room had been a cupboard in comparison.

Ap’lek checks everywhere before he clears the rooms for her. Only when he’s in the hallway and the door has slid shut does she make her way towards the closet to grab a change of clothes. All of her clothing is there, and hung up much neater than anything she’d ever accomplished. The rest of her belongings are packed neatly into boxes, and Anika feels a little bad for whoever had to move her stuff. She hadn’t exactly left her room in an organized state.

She picks out some warmer clothes and heads into the bathroom, spotting a tub. _Oh, fucking force…YES._ Being a wanted target of the blob empire was totally worth it, if it meant upgrading from a shower stall the size of a shoebox to this.

**Later**

Anika feels a little guilty at how long she took, giving the Knight of Ren an apologetic look when she finally emerges from her room. The tub had been too appealing, and she’d soaked a little too long in it. He’s standing so still that he might as well be a statue, the sharp blade of his weapon glittering in the harsh lights of the hallway.

“Sorry I took so long,” she says guiltily. “I’m sure you didn’t want to spend your day waiting around for me.”

“I volunteered,” Ap’lek says simply. Her mouth nearly drops open before she catches it.

_He can speak! Wait…What?_

“Volunteered for…for me?” she stutters awkwardly. His mask nods, and she gives him a perplexed look. Why would he want to escort her around? Wouldn’t he much rather be off… Well, she doesn’t really know what the Knights do with their time. _Torturing Rebels or massacring villages or something?_

Ap’lek says nothing else, so she counts herself as lucky to have heard anything out of him. “Well. Thank you, I guess?” she says uncertainly. “Kyl-I mean, Commander Ren, said something about me meeting him in the maintenance bay?”

The Knight only nods again, gesturing for her to follow him down the hallway. If she ignores how extraordinarily uncomfortable she feels around him, she kind of enjoys watching how people jump out of Ap’lek’s way. Maybe it’s the spikes protruding from his wrists, or the strange vibro-blade axe he carries. But Anika has never had an easier time getting down busy hallways on base. Everyone shoves to get out of the Knight’s way.

 _Must be how royalty feels. Yes, scatter before me, peasants._ They make it to one of the many elevators, and begin the long descent down to maintenance level. Anika’s glad she chose warmer clothing, as maintenance is always one of the coldest floors on base. Any levels closer to the planet’s surface have a permanent chill to the air. Since getting back from the mushroom planet, it seems to be bothering her more.

The elevator finally halts, and Ap’lek gestures for her to exit. She’s confused when she steps off and he doesn’t follow. The Knight remains on the elevator as the doors slide back closed between them.

“Over here,” Kylo calls.

Anika turns around, searching for him until she spots a peek of bright orange between two broken down droids. She skirts around them, both large demolition units, to find Kylo in full Matt persona at a maintenance console. He’s bent over it, eyes narrowed with concentration on the screen. He’s shoved the fake glasses down his nose to peer over them.

Anika comes to a stop next to him, noticing a strand of dark hair has escaped from underneath the blonde locks. She fights the urge to fix it for him. _If he keeps being this sloppy with his disguise, people are going to start figuring it out._

“Hi,” she greets him when he has yet to tear his eyes away from the screen.

“Hi,” he replies, eyebrows furrowing with frustration.

She waits another full minute, but he seems too focused on whatever he’s trying to do to realize she’s expectant. “Are you going to prove you’re you? Or should I find a bottle of alcohol?” she asks finally.

That seems to get his attention. Kylo looks over at her, expression skeptical. “Do I have to prove it every time we’ve been apart for a few minutes?”

“…Yes.”

He huffs a sigh. “If he keeps being this sloppy with his disguise, people are going to start figuring it out,” he recites.

Anika feels her eyes widen. _He can seriously hear my thoughts that clearly with the force? All the time? I didn’t even think he was paying attention._

“You tend to broadcast them,” Kylo says, tapping aggressively at the computer screen.

“My thoughts?”

“Yes. Most people’s thoughts are quieter, harder to make out from their impulses and feelings. It’s a big convoluted layer, woven over and under other layers,” Kylo explains, sounding distracted. “But with you, everything’s right there.”

“…So, you’re saying I’m simple,” Anika concludes, unsure if she should be offended.

Kylo groans, before dropping his hand from the computer screen. “No, you’re straightforward. I like it,” he says quickly, before gesturing at the console. “I can’t bypass the head maintenance officer’s credentials.”

“Here, let me,” Anika offers, stepping forward to edge him out of the way. She types the credentials in quickly, pleased when the console allows access.

“How did you do that?” Kylo asks curiously.

“I got tired of always having to hang around and wait for him to look up the information I needed, so one time I just watched him log in,” Anika replies with a shrug. “His password is password1234.”

Kylo winces, as if the simplicity of the head officer’s password personally offends him. She steps back to allow him access once more, peering around his shoulder while he brings up the repair logs. However, when he tries to look up the droid’s identification number, the system insists it doesn’t exist. _Someone’s tampered with it…_

“Whoever did it probably deleted all records of the droid,” Anika suggests thoughtfully. “Especially when they saw the camera feed go dead, and knew they’d been caught.”

Kylo makes a noise of irritation. “Another dead end.”

She glances up to see the frustration plain on his face, in the tight set of his jaw and pouting lips. It’s a cute look on him, when she doesn’t have to worry about him taking it out on equipment with his lightsaber. Equipment she'd inevitably have to repair.

“Well we might as well look around? See if there’s anything unusual?” she offers, trying to be helpful.

He agrees reluctantly, and they make their way through the maintenance level. They spot nothing other than broken equipment and sparking droids crumpled in piles. They head into one of the last work spaces, an office near the back of the wing. Anika tries to focus, but she hates silence and can’t seem to stop wondering about what his Knight had said earlier.

“Ap’lek said he volunteered to watch out for me this morning,” she remarks. 

Kylo picks up a hydrospanner, examining it before dropping it back onto a workbench. “He likes you.”

“What?” Anika asks, taken aback.

Kylo raises a hand as if to run it through his hair before he seems to remember the fake blonde mop currently perched on his head. He drops it, shrugging. “He thinks you’re entertaining, and he… finds it amusing, that I want you protected,” he explains carefully.

Anika frowns, noticing the faintest pink tinge to his cheeks as he suddenly drops his gaze from hers. “Amusing how?”

The pink darkens, as Kylo mutters, “He thinks I’m whipped.”

Anika snorts with sarcastic laughter, unable to hold it back. “That’s rich, coming from a man that calls you Master,” she retorts. _He might as well call you Daddy Ren, that’s somehow less kinky._

Kylo must still be listening to her thoughts, because he makes a disgusted expression. “Never think that again,” he orders.

“What, are you not into the daddy thing?” she presses her luck, grinning with reckless abandon. The baggy radar technician clothes and geeky vest make him seem less intimidating, and she can’t help herself. She wants to see how far he’ll let her go.

“Not with Ap’lek,” Kylo snaps, muttering a swear word when she only laughs again. She approaches him, feeling in a much better mood now that she’s gotten a chance to tease him. It feels like revenge, perhaps for all the times he’d teased and intimidated her.

“I’m sorry, daddy,” Anika says with fake sweetness, batting her eyelashes up at his still very pink face. She’s enjoying this entirely too much.

Kylo shoves the glasses back up his nose from where they’ve slid down, giving her a dirty look. “I’m sure you are, baby girl.”

Her eyes widen at the way he sarcastically uses the term, and the way it nonetheless affects her. The smile falls from her face. _Wait. No no, I’m the one doing the teasing here-_

“I bet you’re just trying to get thrown over my knee and spanked, right? That’s why you’re being such a bad little brat?” he pushes, his tone still entirely sarcastic as his eyes search hers for a reaction. Kylo seems to know it the second he’s hit a nerve.

Anika attempts to retreat at his sudden shift in demeanor, realizing her teasing has pushed him right past any shyness he’d been harboring. Some switch has flipped in him and now she’s the one on the defensive as he advances slowly, pinning her in between the workbench and wall.

“You forget that I’ve been inside your memories,” Kylo points out, expression growing predatory. His glasses slip again, and he rips them off with annoyance. “You invited me to look at them, remember?”

“I-I don’t think that was ever one of my-” she tries to deny.

He cuts her off. “Yes, it was,” he growls. “You were rubbing yourself in the shower, enjoying the hot water running down your body.”

Anika’s face is burning with embarrassment. _He saw that!?_ Kylo’s eyes are locked onto hers, something calculating in them. He steps in front of her, expression challenging. She catches it when he wets his bottom lip, her focus lingering there, before he continues.

“You came, hard, all over your fingers, when you imagined my voice asking if you were going to be good for daddy,” he says lowly.

 _Oh, kriff._ She doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to interpret his mood. She feels frozen in place, her mind stalling. She should’ve known better than to start antagonizing someone who has been inside her head. _Why, why, why am I like this…_

Anika holds her breath when he reaches out to touch her face, his fingertips tracing over her cheek lightly. “You like the way my voice sounds in the mask, don’t you? You liked imagining me ordering you around, praising you?”

She searches his gaze, arousal flaring in her body at how much he’s figured out. She might as well have written him a how-to manual in her memories. _How to turn me on, for beginners. Step 1: Be Kylo Ren._ She doesn’t even care that he’s calling her out, bringing up what he’s found invading her thoughts. She just wants him, acutely aware of how ready her body already is. Everything about him is just so… _Yummy. You’re so fucking yummy._

Kylo swallows hard, her eyes jumping to his throat when his Adam’s apple bobs. She moves, unable to stay frozen any longer. She surges forward to kiss his throat, to get her lips on his skin and suck and bite and taste him.

He groans, and Anika gasps with surprise when he grabs her by the hair to pull her off his neck. Kylo forces her head back, forces her face to tilt upwards so he can capture her mouth with his. This isn’t that sweet, tentative kissing he’d given her before. His lips demand more of her, rough and hungry. She gives in, happily, moaning without regard for how loud the sound is.

Kylo backs her up, and she stumbles. But he doesn’t let that stop their motion. Back and back, until he’s pressing her into the wall. Anika clings to him when he tears his mouth away to hike her up, lifting her so he can grind his pelvis between her thighs. She wraps her legs around him obediently, locking her ankles. Kylo returns to her mouth aggressively. He takes her lower lip between his teeth before giving her another proper kiss.

Anika can barely breath, sandwiched between the wall and his body, but she’s relatively sure oxygen is just a suggestion. Another wave of arousal surges through her core at the feeling of his hands on her ass, groping, holding her up. Then his tongue invades her mouth, and she can taste more of him. She swirls her tongue around his, sucking, playing with him.

Her hands fly to his hair, only to realize his dark hair is hidden beneath the disguise. She growls with annoyance and nips at his lips. Kylo punishes her, dropping down to sink his teeth into her neck. She winces her eyes at the sharp bite of pain, but it’s soothed away by his tongue. Her brain is a haze of pleasure as he sucks on the skin of her neck, her hips rocking in his hold.

“Fuck,” she breathes softly, focusing on how good his mouth makes her feel. “Kylo, fuck…”

He growls, and Anika jerks at the sudden loud sounds around them. Her eyes snap open to see the tools flying from the top of the workbench, hitting the floor and walls. He’s flung everything from it, and a second later he props her onto the now cleared surface.

“You pictured getting on your knees for me, didn’t you?” he rasps, tearing at her clothing. She whimpers when his hand slides up under her shirt, finding her breasts. “You thought about being ordered to suck my cock…hearing how good you are, with your lips wrapped around me.”

 _Kylo-fuck!_ She holds her breath when he plays with her nipple, not bothering to free her from the thin material of her bra. She can’t believe the things he’s saying, the husky quality to his voice. Has she ever been this turned on before?

Anika grabs that dorky orange vest and drags him down to her lips again, kissing him hungrily. One of the buckles snaps loose in her grip, the vest giving way to her. She fumbles with the baggy fabric of his pants, only able to half focus as his tongue demands her attention. _Why is there so much khaki, fucking khaki everywhe- OH. He’s… oh my…_

She tries to pull away from his mouth, to look down to see his arousal. By the feel of it, he’d be clearly visible, excessive khaki be damned. But Kylo growls with impatience and wraps his hand around her neck, holding her in place for his kiss. She parts her lips for him, forwardly palming him through his pants. _Kriff, he’s big…_

She presses her fingers more firmly against his length, doing her best to rub him until she can free him from his zipper. Kylo muffles his moan with her mouth, deepening the kiss. She makes a noise of protest when he knocks her hand away from his crotch, instead yanking her forward by the hips. He pulls from her mouth to look down, fingers making quick work of the button of her pants.

“What the fuck are you doing in here?”

Kylo freezes at the sound of someone interrupting them, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Anika bats his hand away from her pants, suddenly self-conscious, trying to peer around his shoulders to see the intruder.

The head maintenance officer is behind Kylo, just inside the doorway to the office. He gestures at the tools all over the ground. “You made a mess!” he complains loudly. “You know this is my workplace, not some den of sex!”

Anika winces with a combination of guilt and embarrassment. The poor guy has every right to be mad, and she is about to apologize and offer to pick the place up. But Kylo gives a low growl, making her hesitate. There’s an unusual amount of rage suddenly wracking his features, too much to be explained by just being interrupted.

He spins around to face the man, glaring. The head officer freezes, his eyes widening when he sees Kylo’s face. “You-You, I didn’t realize-”

“You know me?” Kylo demands, taking a step closer.

The man holds up his hands, eyes darting back towards the door. “I-No, no of course-I mean yes, I mean-wait-”

“Your kind are usually much better at lying,” Kylo remarks venomously.

“M-my kind? I don’t know what you’re-” the head officer tries to deny.

But Kylo cuts him off. “I didn’t hear you come in. Very few people can sneak up on me,” he says, tone threatening. “Even now, your thoughts are silent. I’m beginning to learn that’s an easy giveaway.”

“He’s a blob?” Anika guesses.

The head maintenance officer’s eyes flicker from Kylo back to her once, his face alarmed. Then he turns and flees the space, running out the door. Kylo immediately pursues, racing after him, his blonde wig askew and his orange vest half hanging off him. Anika sighs before running after them both. _I really do hate running._


	17. Ch. 17

The chase is far from fair, considering Kylo can use the force. The imposter makes for the exit from the maintenance bay, but the door slams shut in front of him, locking. Kylo slows from a sprint down to a prowl, the poor maintenance officer trapped in front of him.

The fake officer looks terrified, prying at the door for a moment before abandoning his effort. He tries to scurry sideways, down one of the side corridors. Kylo flings his hand out, and a broken demolition droid is thrown from where it was crumpled. It lands in front of the corridor, blocking access. The blob recoils in shock, spinning around to hold his hands up.

Anika nearly feels bad for him, he looks so fearful. He’s trembling while Kylo approaches him, his knees looking like they might give out.

“I’ll cooperate!” he exclaims. “Please, I’ll cooperate.”

“You will,” Kylo agrees, tone threatening.

“Please, sir-Commander Ren,” the blob pleads, trying his hand at flattery. “You know, I’ve come to respect you! The others-they all say Kylo Ren is a punk-they call you Cry-lo Ren-but not me! I think you’re-”

“Enough,” Kylo snarls, holding out his hand. Anika’s eyes widen when the other man slides forward, his feet dragging helplessly along the floor. When he’s close enough, Kylo snatches him by the neck. “We’re going to the interrogation wing.”

If the march across base didn’t attract enough attention at first, it definitely does when two Knights of Ren appear. She recognizes Ap’lek, but doesn’t know the other one. They flank Kylo and the prisoner, making plenty of heads turn as they pass.

 _Well, that disguise is done for. Guess this means we’re retiring Matt the radar technician._ Entirely too many people have now seen Kylo in his technician outfit, escorted by the Knights of Ren, for it to ever work again. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out a regular technician wouldn’t be followed around by half of Commander Ren’s posse. Plus, the blonde wig is completely crooked at this point, half of his dark hair visible.

Anika feels a bit disappointed over that, as she’d grown surprisingly fond of the look. Perhaps she could convince him to keep the glasses and orange vest. _A little role playing never hurt anybody…_

Another Knight appears when they exit an elevator, headed for the jail cells. _How do his Knights know to just show up? Do they have like a…hive mind, or something? And Kylo is their queen?_

Ap’lek’s mask moves towards her briefly, and she wonders if he is listening to her thoughts. Do all of the Knights have some kind of power, like Kylo? Can they all spy on people’s brains? Anika’s cheeks burn red suddenly, as she realizes everything Ap’lek may have heard. _Fuck, does he know I call him Murder Mountain?_

“Yes.”

Anika’s eyes snap wide open at the single, softly spoken word from Ap’lek’s helmet. _Oh, kriff._ She spends the rest of the walk in a state of mortification. She manages to snap out of it when they reach the corridor of interrogation cells. The stormtroopers guarding the area part, giving a wide berth to the Knights of Ren.

Kylo leads the fake maintenance officer towards the cell fake Darial had previously occupied. He stops, however, when he sees the pile of melted blob still on the floor inside the door. Darial’s clothes are also still there, saturated with the fleshy mess.

“Seriously?” Kylo asks in disbelief. “Why did no one clean this up?”

He turns around, shooting a furious glare back at the stormtroopers. Both of them suddenly become very fascinated with the ceiling, looking up and around. Anywhere to avoid being called out on neglecting to clean the place up. Kylo’s eyes narrow further, and Anika’s positive he’d be throwing at least one of the troopers into a wall if he weren’t currently trying to interrogate a blob.

The blob in question is making a high-pitched moaning sound at the sight of the remains. He starts squirming, trying to pull away from Ren. It’s futile, seeing as how he’s surrounded by the Knights anyway.

“You don’t have to do that to me,” he pants desperately. “Really, I’ll tell you anything you want to know. You don’t have to kill me!”

Kylo gives him a shove, half throwing him into the cell. “Fine. Let’s start with this question: Why are you so eager to help your enemy?” he demands.

The maintenance officer rights himself, shaking. “I like it here! I like working for the First Order.”

Anika gives a snort. They might pay decent, but no one _really_ liked living on Starkiller Base. “Well, now we know you’re full of shit,” she interjects.

“No! I know how it sounds, but this is so much better than my job before-and I like being human!” he insists. “Having a mouth is the best! Do you know how amazing your sense of taste is? I had to absorb food through my skin before, it was awful!”

Anika makes a face, trying to picture that. _Sounds like it would take forever to eat dinner._

“You like working here so much, you decided to start sabotaging the place?” Kylo pushes, stepping into the cell with the man.

He shakes his head, backing up until he thumps into the wall. “No! That wasn’t me! They just ordered me to spy on you…I put the camera on the droid, and for that I am very regretful! But I didn’t sabotage anything!”

“Who sabotaged the weapon? Or my ship?” Kylo demands angrily.

The blob shakes his head, face desperate. “I don’t know, I just do what they tell me! I’m not high up, really, my last job was processing fecal secretions-”

_What the fuck-_

“Where is the man you are impersonating? The real head maintenance officer?” Kylo interrupts the blob’s blabbering with a growl. “Is he alive?”

“Yes!” he answers immediately, sounding relieved. “Yes, I can take you to him! We have to keep them alive, to learn information. We get better at impersonating the longer we preserve mental access!”

Kylo approaches the man, whose face rapidly switches from relief to fear again. He leans down, his face inches from the blob’s. “You’ll take us to him. And if you try anything, anything at all…That-” Ren gestures back at the mess on the floor. “That will look like a pleasant death, compared to what I do to you.”

**Minutes Later**

The fake maintenance officer takes them to the fuel depot, a place almost never visited by human workers on base. It’s entirely ran by droids, consisting of a series of fuel storage systems and pipelines running into the hangar bay. It’s a large, cold space. The fuel has to be stored at very low temperatures until it’s pumped into ships.

Anika shivers as they march along metal scaffolding, squinting in the dim light. Kylo’s ahead of her, with the blob prisoner between two of the Knights. Ap’lek lingers by her side, his weapon held at the ready. _Do they think this is a trap?_

She notices Kylo’s lightsaber has appeared in his hand, her suspicion growing. _Where was he even keeping that?_ Maybe all that khaki served a purpose, after all. They take a turn, passing a droid clanking by with a spanner. They’re walking along a fuel line now, the pipe big enough that she would probably be able to stand up inside of it. There’s barely enough space to squeeze by the metal scaffolding holding it up.

“Where?” Kylo snaps impatiently, the space lighting up red when he ignites his saber.

“It’s just up here,” the blob insists.

“We checked this entire area, Master,” one of the Knights says tersely. He shifts his weapon higher, and Anika makes a face at what appears to be a giant meat cleaver. She definitely doesn’t like the look of that thing, and neither does the imposter.

“There’s a false panel! It’s right over there, it crosses under the fuel line,” the fake officer insists. “Can I show you?”

Kylo nods, gesturing with his lightsaber. The maintenance officer approaches the fuel line, squeezing past a metal bracket. Ap’lek steps in front of Anika, and she swallows nervously. _It’s fine. Even if it is a trap, the Knights are supposed to be like…badass, right?_ But that doesn’t reassure her, as anxiety grows the longer the blob feels along the wall panels.

“You’ve got five seconds, before I start taking off body parts,” Kylo threatens, sounding agitated.

“Here! Here, I’ve got it,” he announces, stepping back at a clicking sound. The blob retreats, gesturing at the panel as it swings in and out of the way, revealing some kind of hidden compartment.

He has to freeze, however, when Kylo steps forward to swing his lightsaber towards his head. The crackling beam of light pauses before it connects with the blob’s neck, but Kylo holds it there. The fake officer can only stare down at it in terror, his face bathed red.

“Trudgen, check it out,” Kylo orders, glancing towards the imposter. “For your sake, this better not be an ambush.”

“Yes, Master,” Trudgen murmurs. They all wait while the cleaver-wielding Knight moves forward, ducking slightly to get through the open panel. When he calls back his findings, Kylo relaxes, letting the saber drop from the imposter’s throat.

“Three humans, two females and a male,” Trudgen says. “There’s empty food and water containers in here. Looks like they’ve been here a while.”

“Are they alive?” Kylo asks.

“Yes,” comes the response. “Might be drugged. They look a little scared.”

 _I’m sure that has nothing to do with your two foot long freaking cleaver._ Anika tries to get closer to see who is in the hidden spot. Another Knight moves to help Trudgen, though Ap’lek stays by her. He holds his hand out, in a silent warning for her to stay back.

The real maintenance officer appears first, stumbling through the open panel. He nearly runs into the fuel line, before attempting to balance himself against it. Anika’s eyes widen with shock at the person who appears behind him. _No way…_

“Patty!” she exclaims.

Her former supervisor looks confused. “Anika?”

“I’m so glad you’re not dead,” Anika admits. She’d assumed the worst, and now feels a little guilty for not asking more questions about what had become of her boss. Patty winces, rubbing at her head.

“Um…thanks?” she says uncertainly.

The maintenance officer doesn’t seem as confused. Rather, he’s staring at Kylo, unblinking. His gaze moves between the lightsaber, the orange vest, and Kylo’s face. Then a smile appears, slowly growing bigger.

“Ah-ha, I knew it,” he says, sounding drunk. He sways sideways, grabbing again at the pipe to keep himself upright.

“You knew what?” Anika ventures, when no one else answers him.

He gives her a sloppy grin. “I knew Matt was Kylo Ren!”

“Oh shut up, Zach,” Patty snaps with irritation.

“But I called it, didn’t I?” he persists. “I said ‘That guy is definitely Kylo Ren’ and, boom!”

“We’ve been held prisoner for weeks and you’re staring at a fucking clone of yourself,” Patty says. “And that seems like the most important thing to you?”

 _That is most definitely the real Patty._ She always did have a sharp tongue and very little patience. The maintenance officer, Zach, looks perplexed. His gaze sweeps from Anika and Ap’lek, back over towards Kylo and the blob. It’s obvious when he realizes he is, indeed, in the presence of an identical copy of himself. He staggers backwards, losing his balance and landing square on his behind.

“Holy fuck,” he whispers loudly. “How is this possible!?”

“I’m really sorry,” the blob apologizes. “This must seem very unusual to you. At least I imagine it is unusual to see a humanoid that resembles yourself so strongly. My kind don’t really have that much difference in our phenotypical expression, we tend to all look alike-”

“Stop,” Kylo snaps.

The blob falls silent immediately, hanging his head. Trudgen reappears then, helping the last person through the opening. Anika gasps at the sight of Darial, hanging loosely onto the Knight’s arm. She looks half delirious, but a strange smile is on her friend’s face.

“You’ve got a big-“ Darial begins, before she hiccups. “You’ve got a big knife.”

“I…do,” Trudgen agrees awkwardly.

“Darial,” Anika nearly shrieks with relief. Darial looks at her with unfocused eyes, before giving a slow wave.

“Anika, hiiii…”

Anika can’t stop herself, rushing forward to pull her friend into a hug. Darial staggers and ends up leaning against her, and they both nearly topple over.

“I’m so happy to see you,” Anika breathes.

“I feel so high, Anika,” Darial confesses, in a whisper that is probably much louder than she intended. “Wait is that-” she pauses for another hiccup. “Is that Matt?”

“Oh, no. Matt is Kylo Ren,” Zach supplies helpfully. “Like I said, from day one,” he adds, throwing a smug look at Patty.

Darial leans back enough to give Anika a wide-eyed look. “Oh-OOOh, that makes so much sense,” Darial announces. Anika just nods, doing her best to continue supporting a decent amount of Darial’s weight. She’s moving like her limbs are made of rubber, and she suspects if she let go that her poor friend would hit the floor.

“Let’s get them to the medbay,” Kylo suggests. “Trudgen, get the imposter back to a holding cell. We aren’t done talking, just yet.”

**Later**

Kylo had left the medbay to interrogate the blob further, tossing his blonde Matt wig into the trash can on the way out the door. Anika doesn’t follow him, sticking by Darial’s side. Ap’lek remains behind, like a shadow lurking in the corner of the bay. She’s getting used to his presence. Though, she avoids thinking about all of the cringe-worthy things he’s probably heard in her thoughts during their limited time together.

Zach’s passed out sprawled on a cot, and Patty has her head buried beneath a pillow. Whatever they had been drugged with, it apparently gave her a terrible headache. Darial just seems slap-happy to have been rescued, giggling when Jorran gives her green jell-o.

“You want some, Anika?” Darial offers. When Anika just stares at the jiggly squares of green, she repeats, “A-nick-aaah?”

“Nah, I’m kind of taking a break from jell-o, and other squishy foods,” she admits. She can’t stop thinking of the melted puddle of fake Darial, and feels far too disgusted to eat anything resembling it.

Darial shrugs with a grin. “Suit yourself.”

The medbay doors fly open, slamming into the walls with how forcefully they were flung. General Hux barges in, his face a mix of relief and worry. He pauses a few steps in the door, eyes flying over the cots before landing on Darial. Then he practically runs over. Anika would typically want to roll her eyes at Hux’s appearance. But the man appears to genuinely care for Darial, so she suppresses her pettiness.

“Darial, I’m glad you’re okay,” he breathes, ducking down when he reaches the cot. He goes for a kiss, but Darial recoils from him. Hux’s expression immediately crumples with rejection.

“I’m sorry, it’s not you,” Darial quickly says. “It’s not you, it’s me.” She seems to realize how corny this sounds, giving a loopy laugh. “I just haven’t brushed my teeth or showered in days, and I um, I don’t want…you know, our first kiss to…be like that…”

The general’s already pale face finds a way to get even more devoid of color. His lips part, eyes widening with dismay. “Wait-we haven’t…? You and I, haven’t…?” Hux stammers.

Darial’s eyebrows shoot up. “Did you think we-?”

 _Don’t laugh-don’t laugh-Anika don’t you fucking laugh right now._ But she understands exactly what happened. Mostly because it happened to her, too.

“Did you think you already kissed Darial, Sir?” Anika asks, trying to make her voice sound serious.

Hux splutters, the horror growing on his face. Darial just looks even more confused, slowly lifting a spoonful of her green dessert to her mouth.

“I-I… it must have been… the imposter,” he says weakly.

“Don’t worry, Sir,” Anika tries to sound comforting, still fighting back the awful urge to laugh. “It happens to the best of us.”


	18. Ch. 18

**That Night**

Anika tries to get comfortable and go to sleep, after saying an awkward goodnight to Ap’lek outside her door. She’s shivering, however, as the base is unusually cold tonight. In fact, now that she’s thinking about it… _It’s been a lot colder lately, hasn’t it?_

Was the planet’s temperature fluctuating even lower than normal? Still, the base’s heating system should be able to compensate. It pulls excess heat from the weapon and recycles it into the ventilation system. It is quite a smart solution, actually. The base acting as a heat sink helps to stabilize the weapon, and the weapon’s supply of heat keeps everyone from freezing to death on the frozen world.

Anika burrows down under the covers further, hoping the bed warms up soon. Perhaps it is just a leftover effect from her illness. If she’d been as sick as Jorran said, it might be a while until she feels completely better.

Eventually, her toes feel slightly less frigid under the blankets. She relaxes against the pillow. If she’s being honest with herself, she’s a little bummed about sleeping alone. It had been strange at first, crawling into a bed with her commander. _But nice feeling…very nice feeling._ She sighs, tucking her hands under the covers for warmth. Kylo’s undoubtedly busy, and she doesn’t want to seem needy about staying in his room.

Several minutes go by, and Anika’s mind starts to drift towards sleep. She’s half there, unconsciousness pulling her in bit by bit, when the voices start. They’re faint, hard to understand at first. Her mind barely processes them.

“Now’s our chance.”

“He won’t be listening, he’s with the Supreme Leader.”

“It’s a disservice to talk about this without him.”

Anika fidgets on the mattress, clinging onto the sleep that still dances within her reach. She tries burying her face in the pillow to escape the sound. But the chatter is dragging her back from the void, waking her. The voices are getting easier to understand, and louder. With the increase in volume, her mind is finally able to realize something is wrong.

“Do you think he would listen? He’d be at our throats for daring to mention it-”

“-he’s compromised, his priorities-”

“Do you think it’s your place to question his priorities?”

“-he can’t be worried about her, we’re at war-”

“She’s a problem. She needs to be dealt with.”

The voices blur together in a tangle of an argument, battling to be heard. Her eyes snap open as her mind suddenly twitches to wakefulness, and all at once, the voices vanish. Anika sits up in bed, heart beating with alarm. _Whose there? What the fuck was that?_ Silence meets her ears, only her dark quarters visible around her. But Anika knows she’d heard voices. Men’s voices, and several of them.

“Hello?” she ventures timidly.

She sighs a minute later when, predictably, no one answers her. Her eyes rove the dark room as she waits to hear the voices again. A long time passes without even a whisper, and she heaves a sigh. _Was I dreaming that?_

 _Or was I hearing people in the hall?_ She throws the blankets back dramatically, ignoring the unpleasantly cold floor on her bare feet to march to the door. It slides open to reveal an empty hallway, Ap’lek the only figure outside. Anika sticks her head out, peering down the long corridor. It’s entirely devoid of anyone but the Knight.

If he’s curious about her behavior, he doesn’t show it. Ap’lek just stands there, still as ever. Against the black walls, unmoving, he nearly blends in. Anika hesitates, before working up the nerve to ask him.

“Um, hey, Ap’lek…” she murmurs. “Was there anyone else out here a minute ago? Maybe some guys talking kind of loud?”

For a moment, he acts as if he hadn’t heard her. But then he shifts, the mask shaking minutely. “No.”

 _Fuck. What was that, then?_ Anika fidgets uncertainly, realizing she isn’t exactly dressed at the moment. She’d neglected to pull on proper pants, and she does her best to hide her lower half within the doorway, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Oh-okay. Um, did you know if Ky-Commander Ren is still busy…with the prisoner, I mean?” she stutters.

“No. Master Ren is meeting with the Supreme Leader now,” Ap’lek answers.

She has to swallow against a sudden lump in her throat. Isn’t that what she’d heard in her dream? Something about he won’t be listening, because he’s with the Supreme Leader? _What the…was I dreaming about people talking about Kylo?_ But how… _Unless…_

 _Unless it wasn’t a dream._ Anika shakes her head suddenly, retreating to her room with a hastily muttered thanks to Ap’lek. Once the door slides shut, she stares at it. What else would it have been, if not a dream? _No…it had to be a dream. Just a really weird, coincidental dream. I’ve been through some weird stuff lately. There’s probably all kinds of funky dream fuel in my brain._

_Yeap. That’s it._

Anika tries to lay down, to go back to sleep. But the strange incident has left her wide awake. She stares at the ceiling, making a disgruntled face. _Why would I dream about a bunch of men arguing?_ She can’t stop trying to remember what the voices were saying. Her stomach sinks when another fragment comes to her, replaying.

_She’s a problem. She needs to be dealt with._

Could the voices have been talking about her? She sends a glance towards the front of her quarters, and the closed door that Ap’lek is standing on the other side of. An uneasy feeling creeps over her.

**Later**

She must have fallen asleep at some point, because she wakes up in a panic at the feeling of someone touching her. Anika flails, striking out at whoever has a hold of her. Her eyes are too blurry from sleep to make sense of anything she’s seeing, but she sends her fists flying.

“Woa-stop!”

Whoever it is catches her hands, and she thrashes in the attempt to break lose. Everything that’s happened, from sabotage to blobs, to that strange argument she’d dreamed somehow, has set her on edge. Her mind interprets the abrupt wake-up as an attack, until it catches up to reason and Kylo’s urgent voice.

“It’s okay-Anika, it’s me!” 

She falters mid swing, that familiar deep voice managing to break through the stupidity of her sleepy brain. “Kylo?”

“Yes! Who else would it be?” he asks, sounding irritated.

When she lets her hands drop, he releases them. Anika frowns. “O-Oh…”

She darts her eyes at the digital clock, noting that it’s late enough to be considered morning. Kylo gives a groan, dropping down to lay on the mattress. He’s laying the wrong way, his legs hanging off the side of the bed. It’s too dark to really make out his expression, but Anika can tell he isn’t exactly chipper.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hurt you, did I?” she asks.

“No,” he insists, despite the fact that he’s ruefully rubbing his eye. The very same eye she’s fairly certain she’d felt her hand connect with. Guilt lingers in her chest. 

“I’m really sorry. I wouldn’t try to hit you on purpose,” Anika apologizes again. “I had this weird dream earlier, and I think it got to me.”

Kylo sits up, and the lights in her quarters flash on without warning. Anika winces, blinking against the sudden onslaught on her pupils.

“Is that why you were asking about me?”

“How did you-”

“Ap’lek,” Kylo cuts her off curtly. “He said you were acting stranger than usual.”

She narrows her eyes at the wording. _Meaning I always act strange?_ _Rude._ “Is that why you came here in the middle of the night?” Anika questions.

“I would’ve come here anyway,” Kylo admits. “Though, I was expecting you to be in my quarters.”

She swallows heavily when his eyes lock onto hers, something in them volatile. He’s definitely in a mood, and she doesn’t know how to handle it. Is he angry? Is it at her, or something else? Should she have just assumed he wanted her sleeping in his bed? _Not everyone’s a mind reader, you know…_

Kylo must hear her passive aggressive thoughts, his eyes narrowing. Her heart speeds up when his gaze drops from her face to her night shirt, the cold air making her nipples more than noticeable through the thin material. His eyes linger there, before flitting back up to her face. She tugs the sheet up above her waist, trying to conceal herself.

“Next time, I’ll have you escorted to my quarters,” he promises lowly. “Then you won’t have to guess at what I want.”

His intense expression makes her feel nervous. For the first time since he took off his mask for her, he’s fully reminding her of how intimidating he can be. There’s something different about him tonight, something a little off balance. It’s sexy, but unsettling. A thought occurs to her, but she hesitates. Does she dare to tease him like this? Throwing caution to the wind, Anika goes for it.

“Aren’t you worried how that will look?” she asks. “Having a woman dragged to Commander Ren’s chambers for the night…What would people think?”

The darkness in his gaze only deepens, pulling her in. For a moment, she is unsure if she should have gone there. But then he moves, finding her ankles under the sheets and wrapping his hands around them.

“Do you think I care what people think of me?” he asks softly.

The air leaves Anika’s chest in a gasp of surprise when Kylo tugs her suddenly. He slides her down the mattress by her ankles, tugging the sheets down too, exposing her. He crawls over her, quick and predatory, pinning her down beneath his mass.

She searches his face, but gone is any hint of the sweetness she’s seen from him before. This Kylo reminds her more of when he’d kissed her on his shuttle, after crash landing on that awful planet. She doesn’t struggle when he takes her wrists, placing both above her head and holding them down with one hand.

“The entire base could see; it wouldn’t do you any good. No one would dare to stop me,” he admits quietly, searching her eyes.

She lets her eyelids fall closed when he leans down close to her face. She’s expecting a kiss, hoping for it. There’s a heat surging in her, compounded when she tests her wrists against his grip. Kylo’s hand doesn’t budge. If anything, he pushes her wrists down harder into the pillow, a confirmation of how useless a struggle would be.

She feels a ghost of Kylo’s lips on hers, and tries to chase it. But he withholds a proper kiss to threaten her quietly. “I can do whatever, take whatever I want. And I want you.”

 _Fuuuuuuck._ Where had this side of him been hiding? Anika feels like he’s short-circuited her brain when he finally kisses her. It’s just a taste at first, but she can detect something on his tongue. Her baffled mind identifies it as liquor. _I thought he didn’t drink…_ His kiss turns rougher, the thought falling away. He forces her lips to part for his tongue, drags the hungry whimper from her throat. But then he stops.

Anika opens her eyes to find his, calculating. “You’re distracting me,” he accuses. “First, the dream.”

“Huh?” she murmurs.

“Tell me about the dream that bothered you,” Kylo commands.

“It wasn’t important,” she mumbles quickly.

It’s a lie, of course. It had shaken her up, but she doesn’t care now. She just wants more of him. Kylo growls with frustration, wrapping his free hand over her throat. Her body responds immediately with a throb of pleasure. He squeezes slightly, observing her react with excitement to the barest increase in pressure. There’s a telltale flush to his skin, just a hint of a blush as he watches her.

“I could force you to tell me,” he suggests. “But you’d probably like that.”

_Well, yes…Obviously._

“Is that what you want? Me in your mind?” Kylo asks, sounding doubtful.

“I mean…” _I’d much rather have you in me other places…_ “It wasn’t that bad last time,” she admits uncertainly.

Kylo releases her, sitting back. Though his hand has left her wrists, she finds she is still not able to move them. She’s pinned down now by something else, something intangible. Anika licks her lips, searching Kylo’s face for a sign of what is going on in his mind. But he’s unreadable other than the hunger plain in his eyes. She shifts her hips beneath him, impatient.

“You’re not very good at being interrogated,” Kylo says mockingly. “Shouldn’t you pretend to fight this? Not wiggle with arousal underneath me.”

She glares at him. “Who knew Commander Ren would be such a tease,” she challenges. “What happened to taking what you want?”

His expression grows more severe at the goading. She’s still stuck, held down by his power in the force. For just a moment, she considers that she’s gone too far. But then the corners of Kylo’s lips twist upwards, in a smirk.

“Well, if that’s how you want it to be…” he says.

She freezes with alarm as he lunges down to capture her mouth aggressively. But Anika recovers quickly, kissing him back enthusiastically. She barely has a moment to enjoy the taste of him before he presses himself into her mind. It tears her focus away from Kylo’s kiss. A muffled cry of surprise escapes her, only for the sound to die on his tongue.

It’s much more abrupt than the last time he’d invaded her thoughts. His presence surges quickly, and her mind doesn’t know how to process the sudden presence of someone else in a place where it had always just been her. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s startling.

And that’s not all, as something else is different this time. It’s no longer a one-way street. She can feel him. Arousal and aggression slam into her, backed by twin storms of anger and desperation. She drags her lips from Kylo’s to gasp his name, and the feelings disappear as quickly as they’d assaulted her. But she’s dizzy, her senses rocking as Kylo rewinds through her memories of the night.

Flashes of his memories leak through, and she catches glimpses of his lightsaber. Red sparks fly as he uses it, destroying panels in an elevator. He’d released his rage on the base as he’d made his way to her. But he tugs back on the memories, concealing them from her like he’d concealed his feelings.

Her hands are suddenly free, the force no longer pinning her. Whether he’d meant to free her or just been distracted, she doesn’t know. She grabs onto his shoulders, searching for a way to feel steady despite the turbulence in her brain. Kylo finds the memory quickly enough, the one of men’s voices arguing. He replays it as she clings to him. And then, as rapidly as he’d entered her mind, he withdraws.

Anika still feels shaky as he retreats from her, moving off her to sit at the side of the bed. _Well, that was…_ Her stomach flips with nausea. _Not my favorite thing in the world._

Kylo looks furious, his hands clenching into fists. She drags the blankets back up over her lap, uncertain if she should say something. For as mad as he’d apparently been earlier in the night, he hadn’t seemed that bad when she first woke up. _What about my dream made him mad again?_

“It wasn’t a dream,” Kylo says flatly. 

“…What was it then?” she questions curiously.

“Ap’lek put it there,” Kylo explains. “He knew I wouldn’t be listening, so he recorded it in your mind for me to find.”

Anika’s mouth drops open with surprise. _What the fuck…_ But Ap’lek had been right outside her door. _There wasn’t anyone else out there, so how could he have been talking…?_ Anika shakes her head, feeling a dull ache that hints at long overdue sleep.

“Was that…the Knights talking?” she guesses. Kylo only nods in response, his jaw clenched. “So they were talking…like, in the force?” A second nod is her answer.

_So Ap’lek used my mind like a fucking notebook? Wait, I_ am _the problem they want to deal with, then!? Fucking fantastic. What the hell does that mean?_

Kylo stands, pacing across her room. “This is not good timing. As if I don’t already have enough to deal with.”

“Do I have to worry about one of your Knights offing me now?” Anika asks, her heartbeat accelerating. The masked ninja wannabes were terrifying, all of them trained killers. _Fuck me… fuck!_

“No,” Kylo snaps. “Most of them are still loyal, I’ll deal with the problem.”

Anika covers her face, pressing her palms against her eyes with exasperation. Somehow, Kylo’s response isn’t enough to reassure her. What is stopping one of them from deciding to take her out while he isn’t around? “I hear you, but-”

“I’ll handle it,” Kylo repeats, angrily enough that she doesn’t bother protesting further.

She sighs, plopping back against her pillows tiredly. She watches Kylo pace back towards the bed, his face still distorted with anger.

“What else do you have to deal with?” she asks, furrowing her brow. “I mean I know the blob thing, but…” she shrugs. She doesn’t want to mention the flashes of his memories he’d accidentally shared while in her mind. But Anika is curious what pissed him off in the first place. 

Kylo scowls. “The Supreme Leader has given us forty-eight hours to deal with the blob infestation. Or else.”

Anika’s jaw drops. “What!? But that’s impossible, you can’t check everyone on base in that short of time!”

“And yet that is exactly what I must do,” Kylo says, sitting back on the edge of the bed. He rolls his shoulders, as if attempting to dispel his stress that way.

Suddenly, the taste of liquor on him makes much more sense. “Were you drinking before you came here?”

He darts a glance at her. “Hux offered while we were attempting to come up with a plan, and for once, I didn’t turn him down.”

Anika’s eyes widen with shock. If Kylo was drinking with Hux, then circumstances were truly dire. The two men hated each other. She can’t even imagine them being civil enough to share a drink, let alone have to come up with a plan together.

“Okay, but what does ‘or else’ mean?” she asks. “I mean, what can he do if you don’t deliver?"

The look Kylo shoots her silences her immediately, somehow conveying the ominous alternative to fulfilling the Supreme Leader’s orders. _Shit._ She stares up at the ceiling, searching it for a clue of how to help. Her eyes rove over the panels uselessly.

“The plan was to clear the troopers tomorrow, using the Knights,” Kylo explains with a sigh. “Then use the troopers to assemble everyone else, group by group, working up to leadership. Clear them and have officers report anyone missing from the roundups.”

Anika frowns. “But shouldn’t you start with leadership and work your way down? If the blobs catch on to what you’re doing, any in higher positions might be able to cause a lot of mayhem,” she points out. “Like more sabotage, for starters, or…Anything to slow you down from getting through ranks.”

Kylo’s brow furrows as he considers what she said. “That’s…a good point, actually,” he admits begrudgingly. “But clearing the officers will be a lot harder without troopers to round them up.”

“That officer’s dinner is tomorrow,” Anika points out, remembering when the real Darial told her about Hux’s invitation. “They’ll all be in one place.”

Kylo gives a derisive laugh. “Right. I’ll just circulate a fancy dinner, slashing apart blobs as I go. I’m sure they’ll all sit in place and wait for me to get to them.”

 _Ugh, true…_ If Commander Ren showed up and started murdering people without explanation, the ensuing panic would allow any blobs present to escape. Anika’s eyes trail over the ceiling, restless, as if she’s missing something. Finally, they land on a metal fixture. She contemplates the sprinkler head, unable to figure out why her mind is so stuck on the random object. But then, the idea clicks into place. 


	19. Ch. 19

**Next Morning**

Anika wakes up to a bed that is quickly growing cold. She cranes her head off the pillow, looking around with bleary eyes. When she spots Kylo pacing the room, shirtless, she sits up fast enough to give herself whiplash. _Sweet baby gizka… That is… glorious…_

It looks like he showered and only got half dressed, his hair still a damp mess. But her eyes barely take in his hair, instead getting stuck to the expanse of flesh she’s never gotten to see before. She’d assumed he’d be muscular, but she wasn’t expecting this... _I could get used to waking up with a view._ She lets her gaze roam him shamelessly, lingering on his back and arms with appreciation. _Damn… One of his titties is bigger than my head._

Kylo stops walking, turning to give her an incredulous look. “Are you done?”

Blushing, she realizes he must have been listening to her thoughts. Anika attempts to look somewhere other than his muscles, forcing an innocent expression onto her face. “Hmm? What do you mean?”

He rolls his eyes at her, but she catches the little smirk as he turns to head back into the bathroom. A moment later, and he’s regretfully fully clothed. She huffs a sigh of disappointment, moving over to make room when he sits at the edge of the bed.

“I was trying to make sure all the shipments will arrive in time for tonight,” Kylo explains.

“If not, we could always improvise,” she says.

He looks at her doubtfully. “There is no we in the execution of the plan. You’re staying here, where you’ll be safe.”

Anika glares at him. _…Excuse me?_ “I came up with the plan!” she protests. “I should at least get to see if it works!”

“I would much rather know you are out of harm’s way,” Kylo argues.

“Yeah, and I would much rather you still be topless,” she snaps back. “But clearly, we can’t always get what we want.”

The look Kylo gives her is nothing short of incredulous. She stares back stubbornly, until he gives up with a shake of his head.

“You’re ridiculous,” he accuses.

“And yet, you know I’ll just sneak out and go anyway. Whether or not you want me to,” Anika points out. She’s not getting left out, not when it was her idea. Plus, Darial will be at the dinner, and she wants to make sure her friend is okay. She couldn’t warn her, so the least she can do is make sure Hux looks out for her.

Kylo takes a deep breath, the irritation plain in his voice when he responds. “You’ll stay with Ap’lek at all times. You’ll remain on one of the balcony levels, nowhere near the main ballroom. If things go badly, he will get you to safety, and you will listen to whatever he says. Do you understand?”

“Sure, yes,” Anika agrees immediately.

**Later**

Anika dresses very warmly when she leaves her quarters a bit earlier than planned. She is growing more and more convinced that she isn’t imagining the unusual chill in the air. Of course, it could just be an adjustment to the environmental regulation system that sets base temperature. There were plenty of other technicians who monitored things like that. But she wants to do a diagnostic herself, just to be sure.

She hasn’t seen Kylo since he left that morning, but Ap’lek is waiting when her door slides open. He doesn’t move when she steps out into the hall, standing still as a statue.

“We have got to stop meeting like this,” Anika tries to joke with him. He says nothing, and she shifts uncomfortably. “Um, so I am going to admin level to run a diagnostic really quick. I can come back here, when I’m done.”

He steps forward. “I’ll go with you. We will go from there to our position above the ballroom.”

“Oh-or, yeah, that works, too,” she stutters, falling into step with him as he leads them towards the elevator. Will she ever stop feeling so awkward around the Knight? _It doesn’t help that they read minds. There’s nowhere to hide the gutter bucket that is my brain._

The ride to the administration level is silent. Ap’lek looms like a shadow behind her when she exits the lift, and starts down the hallway. Anika tries to keep from thinking about anything she doesn’t want overheard, focusing on finding the console.

This level is unusually quiet for the time of day, but that makes sense. Most of the people who would usually be crowding these offices and corridors are getting ready for their fancy dinner. There’s just a skeleton crew working, the bare minimum to run things. It at least makes Anika’s mission convenient, as she doesn’t have to worry about someone stopping her to demand what she’s doing.

She recognizes the computer bay as soon as she spots it, logging on quickly. Environmental isn’t really her area of expertise, but she knows enough to run a basic diagnostic. Anika gets to work, then taps her foot impatiently while she waits.

A few minutes later, and she frowns. _Guess it is just my imagination, then…_ The system says everything is fine. According to all measures available, there are no problems. She sighs with defeat, logging out.

“Are you finished?” Ap’lek asks quietly.

She jumps a bit, having forgotten he was lurking nearby. “Yeah, good to go.”

**Officer’s Dinner- Ballroom**

Anika watches the guests trail into the ballroom from one of the balconies that overlooks the space. They’re all dressed up in clothing much more formal than anything she had ever owned. Some of their jackets have insignia or pins, while others in attendance lack all the decoration.

She spots quite a few guests that she knows are techs or medics, probably only there as dates. Anika’s eyebrows shoot up when she recognizes Darial, entering through the main doors. Her friend is much more done up than usual, and she looks beautiful. _Aww!_

Her excitement fades fast, however, when she sees Hux drift in behind Darial. He settles a hand on her back, guiding her further into the room. His eyes are glued to his date’s face, listening intently to whatever Darial is talking about. Anika rolls her eyes.

She tries to creep closer to the railing to see more, only to feel a tug on the back of her shirt. She looks back, confused, spotting Ap’lek’s black glove restraining her. He pulls her back firmly, ignoring her noise of protest.

“You should stay out of sight,” he explains lowly. “We don’t want to raise suspicion.”

 _Oh. Right._ Anika nods sheepishly, a little embarrassed she hadn’t thought of that. For one moment she’d nearly forgotten why they were here, distracted by all the decorations and music drifting up from below. But he’s right, they need to be discrete. _Tonight is about exposing blobs, not about spying on Darial’s date._

She withdraws further into the alcove, leaning up against the wall to wait for the dinner to begin. The wall is cold to the touch, however, and she eventually can’t stand to remain against it. Anika crosses her arms, trying to warm back up.

“Don’t you think it’s cold in here?” she asks Ap’lek, still stuck on the fact her diagnostic had turned up nothing.

The Knight’s mask turns toward her slowly, but he doesn’t say anything. Anika rubs her arms, cocking an eyebrow at him.

“I’m just saying, it’s been really cold on base lately. I’m freezing,” she complains.

“Unlike Master Ren, I am not your personal body warmer,” Ap’lek states flatly.

Anika’s mouth falls open. _Did he just… seriously!? He knows about that?_ She feels her cheeks burning with embarrassment. Was nothing private between Kylo and his Knights? Did they share everything? _Bet they update each other when they take a piss, too… Hey guys, I didn’t miss the bowl this time. Force high five!_

“Okay, I wasn’t suggesting we huddle together for warmth or anything. I was just remarking, it’s cold in here,” Anika snaps, once she’s recovered enough for a rebuttal.

“And I am explaining there is nothing I can do about that, as your body warmer is presently occupied elsewhere,” Ap’lek retorts.

Anika just stares at him in disbelief. _Okay, so, Ap’lek is sassy._ She glares at his freaky mask for a moment, before abandoning the effort. It isn’t going to get her anywhere, as she can’t see his expression. The way he talks gives nothing away, either. His voice is so even, she can’t get a read on if he’s joking or ready to fling her off the balcony.

_Maybe I should just talk less…I probably annoy him. But then when I’m not talking, I’m thinking stupid things. Which also probably annoys him. That’s probably why one of the other Knights wants to get rid of me. I’m too damn annoying to their mindshare shit._

She sinks down to the ground to sit, resigned to keep her mouth closed for the immediate future. At least on the ground, she can make out some of the party below through the bars of the railing. It looks like almost all the guests have arrived, as the doors are now closed.

People start taking their seats, the music continuing to drift up to the balcony. For a few moments, Anika starts to worry. Has something gone wrong with the plan? _What’s with the delay?_

But then an alarm sounds. After the first screech, everyone freezes in the ballroom with confusion. It goes off a second time, before the lights join in. Flashing warning lights trigger along the perimeter of the ballroom, as the fire suppression system activates. The dinner guests look around uncertainly, but they don’t move for the doors.

All at once, the sprinkler system lets loose. Anika gets up, shielding her eyes from the alcohol pouring from the ceiling so she can look down. She sees one officer making a confused face. He hesitantly licks the liquid off his hand, before his mouth forms the words: What the fuck?

Suddenly, someone screams. Anika struggles to see, her eyes tearing up, irritated by the liquid leaking around her hand. On the far side of the hall, a woman is panicking when her date suddenly starts bubbling and frothing. He melts into a puddle within his suit, and she keels backward into a dead faint.

More screams erupt across the ballroom. More blobs are disintegrating, bubbling apart and collapsing within their clothes. There’s one moment where everyone is frozen, astonished, before all hell breaks loose.

Loud chaos erupts, as everyone starts attempting to flee the ballroom. People are screaming and running randomly, in every direction. Blobs are falling apart as their dates abandon their sides, panicking, or stare in complete shock. All of the sets of doors are locked except the main entryway, and everyone starts funneling for the exit.

The panicked hoard sweeps through the doors slowly, still getting drenched in the alcohol raining down on their heads. Anyone making it out is clearly human, and leaving behind almost two dozen melted blobs. As they leave, they push and trip on one another in their haste.

Anika turns to Ap’lek excitedly, squinting. “It worked!” she shouts to be heard over the racket.

He doesn’t respond, staring at her from where he’s watching, farther back from the railing. Anika sighs, joining him to escape the torrent of alcohol. She uses the only dry part of her shirt she can find, from under her chin, to rub her face dry.

“We should make our way to the administration level,” Ap’lek suggests. “Phase two starts soon.”

“Right,” Anika agrees, following him towards the exit from the balcony level. The sprinklers stop, the alarm dying down as someone finally shuts the system off.

They’ve only stepped into the hallway when the floor jumps beneath their feet. Anika throws a hand out at the sudden shaking, grabbing for the wall to keep herself upright. It’s over in less than a second, but she lingers in place with uncertainty.

“What the…” she mutters.

Ap’lek looks back at her, shrugging one shoulder. He continues on as if nothing has happened, only for a second quake to almost immediately follow the first. Ap’lek freezes in place, steadying himself. The shaking is already growing stronger, the ground rolling violently.

Anika’s eyes widen at the rumbling sound travelling through base. _That’s not good… That can’t be flipping good…_ The trembling stops about the same time Ap’lek flinches, his hand flying to his head.

“Are you okay?” she asks, concerned.

The Knight straightens. “Yes. We need to move, now.”

Anika’s surprised when he moves towards her abruptly, grabbing her arm and towing her along so fast she’s practically running. They reach the end of the hall and he slams the door open, pulling her down the staircase that takes them back to the main ballroom level.

They’ve only made it halfway down the steps when an alarm sounds again. This one sounds different, not the blaring single tone that the fire suppression system had made. It’s higher pitched, screeching around them. Ap’lek doesn’t pause, his grip on her arm unyielding as he herds her downwards. She can hear the crowd from the ballroom as they draw closer to the main level, still loud with sounds of panic.

A blast of cold air hits them when they reach the bottom of the staircase. Anika jerks her arm free from Ap’lek so she can stop. She looks up, eyes scanning the ceiling to land on the ductwork. There’s frost forming on the metal ventilation pipe, as it continues gusting frigid air down onto them.

_What the fuck…WHAT THE FUCK…._

The frost grows, creeping over the surface of the duct in lacy white patterns. _It’s reversed… Why is it reversed? It’s pulling heat from the base into the weapon… But that means…_

Ap’lek growls with irritation, snatching her arm again to rip her through the doors. They spill out into the main level, which is a scene of absolute chaos. People are rushing everywhere, unsure what to do. The alarm continues overhead, flashing lights strobing over the crowd.

“The system is reversed!” Anika shouts to him urgently. “The weapon, it’s going to overheat!”

“Why do you think we’re getting off this planet!?” Ap’lek shouts back at her.

_Oh… How did he know that already!?_

Ap’lek shoves his way through the crowd, keeping her locked close to him in a bruising grip. Another wave of shaking passes through the base, the building groaning under the strain. They nearly get separated several times as people bump or ram into them.

Then, the announcement system comes to life through the speakers: “An evacuation has been ordered. Please proceed to the nearest-”

Screaming starts as the crowd shifts its tide, pushing in the same way Ap’lek had been leading her. Everyone is trying to head towards the same evacuation station at once, and a bottleneck forms. The people ahead of them start shoving, and Anika hears a woman cry out. A moment later and she spots her on the ground, people stepping on her in their haste to evacuate.

“Watch out, you fucking nerfherders!” Anika screams, shoving at men to try to get them off the poor lady. Ap’lek flings his arm out, and the guilty parties are blown backwards before they can continue trampling her.

“Thank you! Thank you,” the woman sobs, clinging onto Anika as she pulls her to her feet. But the woman’s eyes slide right passed Anika’s. They widen into perfect spheres of terror, like she sees something terrible behind Anika’s back.

Anika winces her eyes closed. _I don’t want to look. I don’t even want to know._

But she gives up when a fresh wave of screaming begins, someone slamming into her and nearly knocking her off her feet. Ap’lek catches her, planting her back on the ground. Anika lets herself look at what fresh horror the evening has brought, turning to face it.

There at the end of the hallway, are three large piles of goop. They’re fleshy and semi-transparent, sitting up like giant, jello-y droplets. She realizes that she's looking at blobs, in their natural form. _Eugh._ As she watches, each one starts to change shape. Her mouth drops open as limbs form from the blobs, heads appearing at the top of each. Their colors shift, darkening to shades of black.

Not a minute later, each blob has turned itself into a different Knight of Ren. She recognizes Ap’lek’s mask in the middle of the group, despite the fact that she is standing right beside the real Ap’lek. To the left is a fake Trudgen, to the right one of the Knights she hasn’t gotten acquainted with yet. None of the imposter Knights of Ren have weapons, but they storm forward anyway.

Next to her, the real Ap’lek lets his weapon drop, securing his grip on it. “Go,” he orders her. “Get to the evac station.”

She looks between him and the group of blobs, hesitating with concern. “But-”

“GO!” he commands forcefully.

Anika forces herself to listen, moving with the flood of people towards the evacuation area. She looks back once, catching a glimpse of Ap’lek’s weapon flashing in the air. But she trips, nearly falling into the back of an officer in front of her. After that, she keeps her focus forward. The air is downright freezing cold now, not even the mass of bodies enough to block the chill.

She’s getting closer to the station, the flow of the crowd moving quicker now. Another strong quake hits, and for a moment everyone stops to try to hang on. Anika can’t reach a wall to hold, her balance tested as the ground bucks under her feet. The planet is losing stability, rapidly. _Not good, not good, not FUCKING GOOD!_

“Anika!?”

She searches the crowd at the sound of her name. A moment later, and she sees Darial’s face. She fights through the tangle of people to her friend. When they’re close enough, Darial grabs onto her. She’s soaked through with alcohol, as is Hux behind her. His red hair is a soppy mess, his face a mix of anger and fear.

“Where’s Ren!?” he demands. “Is he with you?”

Anika shakes her head. “I haven’t seen him, and the blobs-they’re impersonating Knights now.” She gestures vaguely back in the direction she’d last seen Ap’lek fighting the invaders.

Hux’s face pales considerably at that news. He looks forward as the crowd begins surging once more. “We’re almost to the station,” he says, like he’s reassuring himself. “We can regroup, come up with another-”

“The pods are all used! Turn back!” someone shouts from ahead. Immediately people start relaying the message, a chorus of voices shouting in an attempt to turn the crowd around. 

Anika’s heart sinks, about the same time another, brutal quake strikes. She stumbles into Darial, who stumbles into Hux. Luckily, the general manages to keep his feet during the shaking. He helps them stay upright, until the ground stabilizes once more. Then they join the crowd in heading back the way they’d come, hoping there are pods left at the next nearest station.

 _If we even get there in time…_ Anika can’t help but consider how rapidly the temperature is dropping, and how frequently the shaking is happening. How long can the weapon keep from hitting critical overload? It’s not designed to handle heat being recycled into it.

“Enough of this,” Hux snaps suddenly, grabbing her and Darial. He pulls them from the crowd at an intersection. “We can get to the hangar faster than we’ll make it to the next station.”

For a couple minutes, it looks like he’ll be proven right. The hallways taking them to the hangar bay are much emptier than the one they’d just left. Hux leads them, Darial keeping a frightened grip on Anika. She’s shaking, the cold making her tremble uncontrollably in her pretty dress. Anika isn’t handling it much better, shivering. They are practically running, the alarms still going off uselessly.

They round a corner, and come to a startled stop. Ahead of them, three Knights of Ren are standing. They are weaponless, giving them away as imposters.


	20. Ch. 20

Hux pushes her and Darial backwards, behind himself as the fake Knights of Ren advance. They don’t get far, however. Kylo appears around the corner of the hallway, approaching from in back of the blobs. His lightsaber flares to life, reflecting off the black wall panels.

Kylo holds out a hand as he storms forward, and the imposter in the center is ripped off his feet. He’s yanked backwards by the force, sliding into the force user’s waiting grip. Kylo doesn’t even slow his pace forward, driving the red crackling beam into the blob’s chest and throwing him aside. The other two charge at him, but they don’t stand a chance against the lightsaber.

Soon the hallway is littered with pieces of the blobs, each one breaking down into chunks of goop. The leftover pieces of black clothing smoke slightly, singed from the heat of the lightsaber’s blade.

Hux wrinkles his nose at the burnt smell in the air. “Good timing,” he admits begrudgingly.

Anika tries to withhold a gag, still not used to the repulsive sight of the aliens’ remains. _You’d think it would get less disgusting every time ya see it, but nope._ Darial isn’t faring much better. Her face is noticeably pale, mouth gaping open as she looks ready to vomit.

“Why are you still on the planet?” Kylo demands, his mask moving from Hux to fixate on Anika. “The pods-”

“Have all been used in the nearest station,” Hux interrupts smartly. “Hence why we were making our way to-”

He’s cut off by another violent quake, a roaring noise quickly growing louder. Anika cringes at the painfully loud vibrations. She’s barely able to stay on her feet, stumbling as the ground feels like a boat rocking on an ocean. She covers her ears to the deafening sound, staggering sideways when her balance fails. Kylo catches her, his arm wrapping around her to keep her upright.

There’s a ripping noise, similar to how a boulder would sound if it were shredded apart. Anika looks around, fear striking her when she notices the crack in the floor. Further up the hallway, the fissure appears. It tears itself wider, the base’s structure groaning around them under the strain. _Time to go._

“We need to move,” Kylo yells to be heard over the sound of the building fracturing. “Now!”

She hangs onto him as he leads her, stumbling and half running, towards the hangar. Anika looks back, spotting Darial and Hux keeping up with them. _Almost there. Almost there!_ She tries to focus on how close the ships are, even as the ground continues rumbling. This quake is more persistent than the others, the energy clearly reaching a critical point.

There is a chorus of bizarre noises from the building, echoing around them as they rush into the hangar bay. It sounds like everything is falling apart. Kylo pulls her forward, only to come abruptly to a stop a moment later. Despite the rows of shuttles and TIE fighters, there is one vessel conspicuously missing.

“Where the fuck is my ship!?” he shouts in disbelief.

“We don’t have time for this, Ren,” Hux shouts back. “We’ll take my personal shuttle!”

Anika tugs Kylo forward, ignoring the sounds of fury issuing from under his helmet. They follow Hux and Darial towards a shiny, black ship. There’s a crashing sound behind them as the doorway to the hangar gives way, the ceiling caving in. Chunks of metal and permacrete collapse in a messy pile, sending dust billowing up into the air.

They pick up the pace, rushing onto Hux’s shuttle. Kylo immediately takes over the controls. “I’m going to kill whoever stole my ship,” he rants. “They’re dead.”

Hux gives an exaggerated eye roll behind his back as the engines start up. Darial sits besides Anika, still looking shellshocked. She grabs her friend’s hand, trying to give her a reassuring smile. But their liftoff from the shaking floor of the hangar bay is less than smooth, when Kylo has to swerve suddenly to avoid falling permacrete. The ceiling above them is giving out, raining down debris.

“Buckle up!” he orders. Anika quickly snaps her harness into place, double checking that Darial got hers secure. Her friend is trembling, probably from a combination of the cold and nerves.

“It’s fine, this is fine,” Anika insists. Darial’s fingers clamp onto hers, eyes widened with panic. _This isn’t fucking fine, we’re all going to die!_ “Totally fine!” she repeats loudly, the smile on her face fake enough to probably look delusional. _Fine, fine, fine, we are all just FINE._ Denial always was one of her talents.

“Watch out!” Hux shrieks suddenly, the ship veering sharply as another massive piece of permacrete falls in front of them.

“I see it,” Kylo grinds out.

Anika tries to stop looking out of the viewport, her anxiety getting the best of her. The hangar is breaking apart, probably like the rest of the base. _I hope everyone got out okay…_ How had the blobs been able to sabotage the weapon? _How did none of the techs catch it?_

“Ren, you’re going to fly us right into-”

“I know what I’m doing!”

Hux huffs loudly, hanging onto the back of the copilot’s chair. They swerve again, the ship nearly turning vertical. The harnesses keep both her and Darial in their seats, but Hux loses his grip. He struggles to hang on, as the ship slips through the only part of the exit that hasn’t been blocked by rubble. When Kylo flips them back into the proper orientation, Hux goes down. Anika mentally records the sight of him falling, to use at a later time when her sense of humor is more functional.

Hux glares from the floor at the back of Kylo’s helmet. “Excellent flying,” he remarks, voice dripping with disdain.

“As if you could do any better,” Kylo retorts harshly.

They even out after clearing the base, beginning the ascent upwards. Kylo is piloting aggressively, pointing their shuttle up at a steep angle. They’ll need to clear the atmosphere before they can jump into hyperspace, and they need to do it in a hurry. The tremoring of the planet beneath them is a constant, rumbling threat.

 _Good news is… The weapon might be salvageable after this, since it’s dispersing the energy throughout the planet. Bad news is… Well, the planet wasn’t the greatest anyway, right?_ Hopefully there is even a planet left, after such a catastrophic failure.

Hux picks himself up, settling into the copilot’s seat. Anika lets herself sneak a peek towards the front of the ship again, scanning the view. It looks like they’re almost clear to jump to hyperspace. Hux gets on the comm system, which sounds like a jumble of transmissions.

“We’re going to be okay,” Anika says quietly to Darial. Her friend nods, attempting to give her a weak smile.

Kylo punches in coordinates, and there is the telltale sound of the hyperdrive starting up in the rear of the shuttle. But it’s quickly followed by a loud, clanging sound. Kylo’s mask jerks around, staring back towards the engine room.

_No…_

“Did you have your shuttle checked after mine was sabotaged?” Kylo asks tersely.

Hux splutters. “Well-Of course, yes! I-I put it on the maintenance priority list-”

“You put it on the list?” Kylo growls. Another clanging sound echoes from the back of the ship, before Anika detects the distinct scent of smoke.

 _Why would you not make sure your shuttle hasn’t been tampered with, you bantha’s ass!? Kriff!_ With all of the sabotage going on, it would only be sensible to double check something like that. Anika feels a renewed urge to slap General Hux.

“Take over piloting,” Kylo orders, rising from his seat to turn towards the source of the commotion.

“Ren, I’m hardly qualified,” Hux objects.

Kylo ignores him to storm through the ship, and Anika joins him. The door to the engine room slides open to reveal a haze of smoke in the air, tinged with the hint of burning metal. _Figures. That just figures. Can nothing go right lately?_

He rips his helmet off, tossing it down angrily to reveal hair that is messy with sweat. Kylo kneels by the hyperdrive to examine it. He struggles a moment removing the cover plate, and Anika bites her tongue until he finds the release latch. When it comes loose, a fresh plume of smoke wafts into the air.

“I’m going to exterminate an entire species,” Kylo threatens quietly.

Her eyes widen at his furious tone, but she doesn’t object. The blobs have made themselves more than a little annoying, what with the multiple times she’s nearly died due to their actions. _Might actually die here, if they’ve meddled with the sublight engines too…_

She squeezes by him to look at the engines, but realizes there isn’t much she can do without a tool kit. “There has to be a repair kit on this ship, right?”

“Should be, unless Hux put that on a list, too,” Kylo retorts bitterly. “Do you think you can fix the hyperdrive?”

Anika laughs faintly. _Probably not, but what does it hurt to dream?_ “Um… I doubt it. I’m going to check the sublight engines first, though. If we lose those too, we’ll be in real trouble.”

“Smart,” he concedes. “I’ll look for the repair kit.”

He disappears from the engine room, and Anika jumps when the hyperdrive starts clanging again. She jerks forward to disable it at the emergency switch, figuring it’s better to be safe than sorry. _Don’t want to explode our ship in the vacuum of space, do we?_ Though the image of a frozen Hux drifting through the universe, bouncing off of asteroids, is moderately entertaining.

**Later**

The sub-lightspeed engines are fine, but the hyperdrive is far from it. Anika can tell whoever did the sabotage was less than sophisticated with a wrench. Mostly because they left said wrench inside of the engine.

“I think this is what we heard clanging,” she announces, holding up the spanner for Kylo to see. _They literally threw a wrench in things. I wonder if blobs understand irony?_

“How’s it looking?” he asks.

“It’s looking like a lot of damage,” she says, sighing. She attempts to extricate herself from beneath the engine, straightening. “I don’t think I can fix it with what I have available.”

His expression is tight with repressed anger, and he nods once. Anika frowns, rolling her shoulders to try to work out the kinks from crawling under the machinery. She wishes there was more she could do to help the situation. Unfortunately, they are stuck in the middle of empty space, without a working hyperdrive.

“Well, at least we’re far enough from Starkiller that an explosion won’t kill us now,” she says, trying to find anything positive in the situation. They’ve at least avoided imminent death. _That’s some good news, right?_

“That’s the only good news,” Kylo replies. “A small shuttle like this isn’t meant to go far on sublight fuel. We’ll run out of gas before we reach the nearest inhabited planet.”

 _Swell._ She can’t help but remember his earlier threat, to exterminate an entire species. It was sounding more and more like a plan. The blobs had gotten on her last nerve, and if they managed to get out of this, she’d like to personally melt the rest of them into globs of goo. _Stupid blobby fucking jerks._

She studies Kylo’s face for a moment, noticing that he looks beyond stressed. She sighs, considering their next move. “You said we won’t make it to the nearest inhabited planet,” she points out. “What about uninhabited?”

He considers that. “We’ll have to check sensors to see if any are close enough,” Kylo replies. “I know there are some unexplored ones around the base, but I’m not sure if we can make it.”

She ignores the way that admission twists her stomach with nerves. It feels like someone’s tied a knot inside her belly, her anxiety rising at the claustrophobia of the situation. She really doesn’t want to be stuck, floating on a tiny shuttle, with Hux and Kylo bickering nonstop. _Where’s a med droid with sedatives when you need it?_

Kylo heads back out towards the front of the ship, and she trails along behind him. Darial gives her a hopeful look, but she shakes her head slightly. Her friend’s face falls.

“Is it fixed?” Hux asks from the copilot’s seat.

“No. We don’t have what we need,” Kylo answers, taking the pilot’s seat.

“We’ll send a distress signal, then,” Hux decides, reaching forward towards the controls. He doesn’t make it far, however. Kylo snatches his arm, stopping him.

“Send a distress signal to who?” he demands. “Do you want to advertise the coordinates for two of the top command officers of the First Order?”

“We can direct the signal to the bridge of the Supremacy,” Hux protests.

“We have no guarantee their comms officer isn’t a blob,” Kylo argues harshly. “This shuttle has minimal weaponry. Without a hyperdrive, we’re easy targets.”

Hux drops his arm with an irritated sigh. “What do you suggest then? We drift in space?”

“The Knights can find us,” Kylo points out. “They’re headed to the Supremacy to clear evacuees from the base, and then I will bring them to us.”

Hux’s lip curls in a sneer of contempt. “Ah, of course. You can summon your lackeys with the force. That’s _such_ a better plan.”

Hux’s disdain for the force is clear in his condescending tone. Anika feels her heart race at the anger growing on Kylo’s features. _Well, this isn’t good…_

The two men openly glare at each other, having set off each other’s temper. Kylo’s jaw is locked so tightly that he doesn’t even bother replying. _The last thing I need is for you two to start fighting like a pair of bull kath hounds._ Anika scrambles to defuse the anger between them. 

“Did you ever hear that joke about where a pilot parks his spaceship?” she asks, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.

Hux’s eyes narrow with disbelief, his face slowly turning from Kylo to look at her. “Excuse me?”

“A parking meteor,” Anika answers, smiling awkwardly. Hux just stares at her, unamused. _Great. Corny space jokes, brilliant idea. Nothing eases the tension like someone making an ass out of themselves._

Darial speaks up finally. She still sounds a little shaken as she tries to make a suggestion. “I think we all just need a moment to calm down. Is there a dormitory on this shuttle, Armitage?”

He stands immediately. “Yes. I’ll show you.”

Anika moves out of his way, sending her friend a grateful look at successfully splitting up the two men. When they’ve left the main area, she takes Hux’s seat up front besides Kylo. He says nothing, bringing up the star map projection between them. Stars, planets, and moons swirl lazily in an orb between their seats. 

Kylo studies it silently, enlarging their current sector. She stays quiet too, letting him focus. But that unfortunately leaves her with her thoughts, which are currently full of doubt. _Maybe I shouldn’t have suggested the plan with the sprinklers. The blobs probably went after the weapon when they saw what we were doing._

She can’t help but think this might be her fault. Anika had been certain it was a good plan, but now-

“It was a good plan,” Kylo says, interrupting her thoughts. “They would have successfully sabotaged the weapon at some point, regardless of what plan we enacted. They clearly had the access and ability to hide it from diagnostics.”

“Oh… Right,” Anika agrees lamely.

“Anika?”

She looks up, finding Kylo’s gaze fixated on her from the other side of the star map. Through the blue haze of the projection, he looks like his emotions have settled for the time being. 

“What?” she asks uncertainly.

“Don’t doubt yourself. It wasn’t your fault,” Kylo reassures her quietly, his eyes holding on to hers.

She gives him a small smile, the strangeness of the situation striking her. At one point not that long ago, she would have been a nervous wreck sitting beside the Commander. Now she’s looking at his unmasked face, fighting the sudden urge to reach out for his hand.

The moment passes, however, when Kylo’s eyes skip from hers towards the star map, which has rotated to a new angle. He leans forward to adjust it, focusing in on a turquoise planet ahead of their trajectory.

“There,” he decides. “We should be able to make it to that world before the engines cut out. We’ll wait on the surface for the Knights.”

Anika eyes the pretty blue sphere skeptically. “Is there anything in the databases about it?”

He brings up the available information, shaking his head. They can both see the lack of information on the world. The only thing displayed is the coordinates, and a name that consists of numbers and letters randomly assigned to the planet at the edge of wild space.

Anika takes a deep breath, hoping to feel optimistic. It doesn’t work. Instead, she has to ignore the bad feeling she has about the planet. _We’ll just camp out there until the Knights of Ren show up with their big, stinky ship. It’ll be fine… Nothing can be worse than Planet of the Mushrooms, right?_


	21. Ch. 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for... I don't even know anymore.

**Hours Later**

Their landing on the planet is far from graceful, though Anika can hardly blame Kylo. The fuel gauge was already hovering on empty before they hit the atmosphere. She’s actually impressed he managed to put the ship down in one piece. The rough descent and bumpy touchdown left her heart racing, however.

Anika stays buckled into her seat while the engines sputter and die, letting her pulse stop racing before she attempts to get up. Next to her, Darial seems to be on the same page. Her friend is still clinging onto the harness, looking faint.

“That wasn’t the smoothest landing I’ve ever experienced,” Hux comments from the copilot’s seat.

Kylo stands, striding from the front of the shuttle towards the engine room. “Maybe you should put it on a fucking list,” he retorts sharply.

Hux shoots a venomous look at his retreating back. “That doesn’t even make sense…”

Kylo stomps into the engine room, and Anika hears him bashing something around a moment later. She closes her eyes, hoping he will stop. Unfortunately, the loud banging only continues. It sounds like he’s taking his stress out from the rocky landing on whatever he can find.

 _Well, fuck…_ She sighs, unclipping her harness to stand on shaky legs.

When she joins Kylo at the engine room, the source of the noise is obvious. He’s ripped the thermocouples out and trashed them, though it looks like they were already worse for wear. Both bear evidence of burn out, probably from running the ship on fumes. They were probably ruined before he touched them. One’s laying, dented and smashed in on the ground. The other Kylo hurls into the metal hull of the shuttle while she watches.

Anika stays in the doorway, knowing from experience that it is best to give the commander space when he is having one of his rage moments. Before she knew Kylo as anything more than his reputation, she would have fled in the other direction. _Standing at a distance is an improvement…_ She wants to do more, to say something that could cheer him up.

Anika struggles to think of anything that would lift his mood. Everything has gone to shit, after all, so she doesn’t have much to work with. As she tries to think of a way to reassure him, he turns from her. His shoulders are hunched, fists clenched. Everything about his body language looks like he’s closing himself off with his anger.

She frowns, getting frustrated with herself. She has no idea what she can do, despite the overwhelming urge to try to help. _Isn’t that how we ended up here? You tried to help and look how that went._ Maybe if she’d stayed out of it… Maybe Hux and Kylo’s original plan would have been better.

She can’t help but consider that perhaps she’s just a chaos magnet. _Every time I try to help anything, it all seems to go badly…How long before he figures out he’s better off without me? All I can do is shoot my mouth off and cause trouble-_

“Stop it,” Kylo snarls, rounding on her. She recoils at the anger in his expression.

“I-I just…” She stammers, then gives up. Kylo, furious, is enough to silence even her.

“You what?” he asks. “You were just trying to take the blame all for yourself?”

Anika searches his expression, shrugging. It only seems to irritate him further, as he narrows his eyes, crossing the engine room in three short steps.

“I haven’t exactly helped,” she mutters.

She gives a surprised yelp when he moves quickly enough to startle her. He grabs her to tow into the small room, out of sight of the main hold.

“You don’t think you’ve helped?” Kylo asks lowly, pressing her into the wall. She doesn’t get to answer him, cut off by his mouth finding hers. _The fuck?_

His kiss catches her off guard, and she takes a moment to react to his lips colliding roughly with hers. He growls with impatience, capturing her bottom lip with his teeth to earn a sound from her. The small gasp is enough for him to slide his tongue against her lips, finding entrance. She kisses him back, overcoming her confusion. _I thought he was pissed, not wanting to make out._

She reaches up to find his face, caressing him, urging him to keep going. His tongue is soft against hers, some of his roughness dwindling. The longer they kiss, the more she can feel the tension leaving his jaw beneath her fingertips. He relaxes against her, his body pressing her into the metal.

“Ren, I must object to you mounting her on my shuttle,” Hux complains.

Anika jerks backwards with a second surprised yelp, bumping her head on the hull. Hux is visible over Kylo’s shoulder, lingering in the door way. He’s got a smug little smirk on his face at getting to interrupt them. _Ugh, hate him._ Kylo just heaves a breath, letting it out with a low grumble.

“I will kill you,” he threatens quietly.

Hux only rolls his eyes. “You’ve been threatening me with that for years. I’m afraid it has lost its edge.”

Kylo brings his fist to the wall above Anika’s shoulder, lining his knuckles up with the metal to slowly push his frustration into it. She looks up to catch his troubled eyes, burning into hers. On impulse, she raises her hand to his cheek. He doesn’t object to the contact in front of Hux, letting her stroke his skin with her thumb. His gaze softens, his fist falling from where he’d been attempting to burrow it into the metal.

“We should check the atmospheric sensors,” Kylo admits. Though he’s speaking to Hux, his eyes stay focused on Anika. She swears she feels him press his face into her touch, seeking out more.

“Already done,” Hux replies briskly. “Air is breathable, low particulate level. We should be good to open the hatch if need be.”

Kylo pulls away from her reluctantly, turning to face the other man. “Any ID signatures turn up on the ground scan?”

The redhead shakes his head. “None. This truly does seem to be a deserted world.”

“That makes it ideal for us to hide out while we wait,” Kylo concludes. “It shouldn’t be much longer.”

Hux nods. “Good. Perhaps your Knights will be here by the time I’m done with my shower.”

Anika raises her eyebrows with disbelief. A shuttle as small as this one has an incredibly small reservoir for water. A shower would probably drain it dry.

“You aren’t showering,” she says bluntly.

The general gives her a disbelieving look. “I’m not? Says who?” he retorts. “I stink like a cantina floor.”

“She’s right,” Kylo agrees. “We need to reserve the water in case of emergency.”

“What emergency?” Hux demands. “Aren’t your lackeys coming?”

Anika stares at him like he’s an idiot. _Which he is._ “We don’t know that there is drinkable water on this planet, so just in case…” she points out. “I’m sure we won’t be here long, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

Hux splutters with annoyance, and Anika has to bite her tongue. It’s so tempting to point out that they are only in this situation because he didn’t get his shuttle checked. But she doesn’t want to antagonize when they’re already all stressed out. She presses her lips together, ignoring his huffs as he marches back into the main hold. _Nerfherder…_

“I’m going out to check the landing site,” Kylo says, heading towards the hatch. “Stay on board until I give the all clear.”

She follows him into the main hold, curiously watching the hatch slide open and the ramp descend. The view out of the front of the shuttle is nothing but sand, so she’s curious what she’ll see with the door open. At first, she can make out nothing, the sunlight too bright. She squints as Kylo exits, letting her eyes adjust.

They’re on a beach, or at least at the edge of one. She approaches the exit, pausing to take in the surroundings. Their loading ramp rests at the edge of a ridge. It looks like the terrain they’re parked on is hard dirt with some scraggly plant growth. Past the little ridge, sand takes over, sloping down towards the water.

The water is calm looking, gentle waves visible in the distance. It’s a greenish shade of turquoise, sparkling from across the expanse of tan, rippling sand. Anika steps out of the hatch, stopping on the middle of the ramp. The system’s lone sun sits low on the horizon, casting the sky with an orange haze. It looks like they’ve landed close to what passes for evening on this world.

“Well, at least it’s a pretty planet,” Darial remarks, joining Anika on the ramp. She looks a little better now, less shaken up. 

“If we had a couple umbrellas and some drinks, we could call it a vacation,” Anika jokes.

“I’m sure our Supreme Leader will be thrilled that we’re relaxing on a beach, while our base is being destroyed by our own weapon,” Hux rants, squeezing past them.

Anika raises her eyebrows at the general’s back as he stomps down the ramp and across the sand, heading towards the water. She gestures at him, giving Darial a questioning look. Her friend only shrugs, giving a tired sigh.

“Your boyfriend is in a mood,” Anika points out.

“Yours kind of is too,” Darial replies.

“They are a bit dramatic,” she admits. _Just a bit?_ Then again, she can hardly blame them. Hux is probably right about the Supreme Leader. Anika imagines Snoke is going to be furious at both the general and Kylo for what happened at Starkiller. _Wouldn’t want to be in that meeting when we get back…_

“It’s weird this planet isn’t settled at all,” Darial muses. “It seems so nice.”

 _Yeah, that is weird…_ The sun is hot on her skin, but it probably wouldn’t be so bad in the shade. It’s surprising the planet hasn’t been established, not even with resort towns. Then again, it was pretty far removed from everything. Before Starkiller Base, there would have been nothing else in the system. _Still, seems kind of… fucky._

Hux has reached the edge of the water, and Anika wrinkles up her nose with exaggerated disgust as he peels his uniform shirt off. He wades in to where the surf is just gracing the sand, looking like he’s trying to rinse the smell of alcohol off his clothes.

“What is your man doing?” she asks, putting on an exasperated tone.

Darial laughs slightly. “He’s… particular about cleanliness.”

“For all we know, that water could be full of microscopic parasites,” Anika points out.

Darial’s smile fades. “Do not tell him that, Anika.”

Anika grins devilishly, ignoring the warning look her friend gives her. “Fine, whatever. I won’t.”

“I heard what you said about reserving the water… You don’t think we’ll be here long, right?” Darial ventures.

“I’m sure we’ll be off this planet in no time,” Anika assures. _Famous last words._

Kylo appears, rounding the front of the shuttle. He stops when he notices Hux out by the water, staring at the redheaded man trying to splash his hair clean.

“What is he doing?” Kylo asks flatly.

Anika walks the rest of the ramp, stepping down onto the dirt. “Being particular about his cleanliness. See anything interesting in the area?”

He shakes his head. “There’s what looks like jungle behind us, but-”

He’s cut off by sudden screaming. Anika snaps her head around at the sound, spotting Hux thrashing in the water. He is screaming his head off, flailing in the waves. Kylo starts running immediately, towards the general. He’s quickly followed by Darial.

Anika groans. _I fucking hate running._ She takes off, following them down the beach. The sand is hard to run in, making her leg muscles burn far faster than they should. Ahead of them, Hux has managed to extract himself from the water and is dragging himself up the beach. He’s grasping at one of his legs, still howling like he’s being murdered. Kylo reaches him first, but the two girls catch up moments later.

“What is it?” he demands.

“Something-something bit me! Something fucking grabbed me and bit me!” Hux yells.

Darial drops down in the sand beside him, bumping his clawing hands out of the way to roll his pant leg up higher. There is a strange marking on the calf of his leg. It’s a welted, red injury that almost looks like a burn. The wound branches like lightning, wrapping up towards his knee. As they look at it, it turns an angrier red shade.

 _What the fuck…_ Anika stares at the innocent looking waves just a few feet away, the setting sun glittering off the water. _Guess that means we should stay out of the water._

Kylo cocks his head, examining the injury while Hux huffs and chokes back on a scream. “That looks more like… a burn or sting, than a bite,” Kylo offers.

“Bite-sting-who gives a fuck!?” Hux screeches.

“What if it was a jellyfish? The ones on Trandosha can be deadly to humans,” Darial says fearfully, looking between Kylo and Anika.

“Will the bacta gel work if it’s a jellyfish?” Kylo questions. Darial shrugs, the fear growing in her gaze as Hux winces his eyes shut, shivering with pain.

Kylo looks at Anika instead, and she can only hold up her hands with uncertainty. _I’m not a jellyfish expert._ Though she is relatively sure she’d heard about an unusual method of handling jellyfish stings while watching holovids. _I’m so not going to be the one to suggest that…_

“Bacta is all we have, so let’s try it,” Kylo decides firmly. He reaches down, roughly yanking Hux to his feet. The two hobble back towards the shuttle, Kylo supporting most of Hux’s weight.

Darial hovers close to Hux’s other side, and Anika brings up the rear. _Aww!_ _If you didn’t know any better, they’d almost look like friends._ At least at the moment, Kylo and Hux aren’t acting like they hate each other. But then Hux stumbles, swearing angrily at Kylo for going too fast. _Never mind._

“I will throw you back in the water,” Kylo huffs under his breath.

“I’ll drag you in with me,” Hux hisses back, before swearing again. The mark on his leg is even more swollen looking, and Anika worries that it might cause more than just the pain he is currently experiencing.

 _What do we do if he goes into shock? Roll him up in a blanket like a Hux burrito?_ They don’t have a med droid on board the shuttle, and none of them have any medical training. _It kind of does look like a jellyfish sting, doesn’t it?_

Kylo and Hux start up the ramp, and Anika waits for them to maneuver their way through the hatch. Now that she’s looking at the shuttle from another angle, she can see the tree tops rising behind it. It looks like further inland is denser with green plant life. Large, broad fronds cluster together just beyond where they’d landed.

She follows Darial through the main hold, towards the refresher where Kylo has dumped Hux onto the floor. Darial squeezes into the tight space with him, so Anika hovers in the doorway. The general looks like he’s barely keeping himself quiet, that infamous vein popping out in his forehead. Normally it only shows when he is angry.

Kylo pulls the med kit out of its storage compartment, opening it on one of the seats. He finds the bacta quickly, coming over to hand it to Darial. She smooths the bacta gel on Hux’s leg gently, before they all commence staring and waiting for it to work. After a minute, however, Hux groans with frustration.

“It’s not working,” he pants. “It feels like my whole leg is dipped in carbonite.”

“Well, give it a minute,” Kylo suggests.

“I don’t need to give it a minute because it isn’t working, Ren!” Hux retorts quickly, hissing in a breath and trying to hold it.

“Maybe it just has to soak in,” Anika tries suggesting.

“I can’t believe this,” Hux whines. “I’m going to die of a fucking fish bite.”

“Isn’t there anything else we can do?” Darial asks, sounding pained with worry.

Kylo returns to the med kit, pawing through it uncertainly. “I don’t think sedatives will help, unless we want to knock him out until the pain passes.”

“Yes! Yes, that would work,” Hux agrees quickly.

Anika, however, is distracted looking at his leg. “Um… Is it just me, or is that getting worse?”

The red is nearly purple, it is such a dark shade. And new tendrils have appeared, branching out from the original injury. His entire lower leg is covered now.

Kylo looks alarmed as he notices it too. “What did you see, in the holovid?” he demands.

Anika blinks. _I really project my thoughts that loud?_ She needed to work on thinking quieter, as it is beginning to unnerve her how much Kylo always seems to know. She’d really prefer to keep some things to herself. Besides, she was hardly considering it as an option.

“We don’t know that it was a jellyfish,” she points out. “And I can’t remember if that was a myth or really worked.”

“We have to try something else, it’s spreading,” Kylo insists.

“What holovid?” Darial asks hopefully. Hux gives a groan of pain and she grabs his hand, trying to comfort him.

“Well…” Anika hesitates, unsure how to phrase it. _Ah, fuck it. Spit it out._ “I’m pretty sure they said to piss on it.”

Darial’s eyebrows shoot up, as her face turns incredulous. “What the fuck?” she whispers.

“Urine. Pee. I’m running out of synonyms for piss,” Anika says, frustrated. “I can’t remember if it actually works, I think I fell asleep halfway through the show.”

Kylo shakes his head, looking like he’s ready to put his fist through a wall. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I get tired during documentaries,” Anika says defensively.

“Not the falling asleep part.”

 _Oh, right. The piss part._ That had seemed a bit weird to her too, now that she thinks about it. Maybe they would have explained it, had she just made it to the end of the show.

“I mean, I’m not saying we do it,” she points out. _It’s not like I’m the chairperson of the golden shower committee._ “I’m sure Hux doesn’t want-”

But she’s cut off by a wail from the general, the skin of his face now devoid of color. His complexion looks drained of blood, his eyes screwed shut tightly. He looks close to passing out, sweat beading on his forehead.

“We have to try it,” Darial says firmly. “I can’t believe this is real life, but it’s worth a shot. Best case scenario, it works. Worst case scenario, we’re in the same spot.”

Kylo’s eyebrows raise, and he firmly takes a step back from Hux. That one step seems to communicate his thoughts on the matter clearly. Darial looks from him to give Anika a pleading look.

“Anika-” her friend begins, and Anika frowns at the desperate tone. Still, there are some lines that she cannot cross. They are few, and far between. But apparently, this is one of them.

“I’m sorry, Darial. But if you want your boyfriend pissed on, you’re going to have to do it yourself,” Anika says apologetically.

“I’m dying,” Hux whimpers faintly. “I’m dying and now I have to piss on myself, because none of you will do it for me.”

“To be fair, I don’t think you want me doing it,” Kylo points out.

“Fuck you, Ren,” Hux snaps.

“Exactly,” Kylo retorts, turning back to the med kit. He picks up a syringe of what Anika assumes to be sedative. “Do whatever you’re going to do, before I knock you out.”

“I’ll um… Just step outside…” Anika says, using the excuse to slip through the exit of the ship. Judging by the sounds of defeat she hears a minute later, the holovid must have been wrong. If anything, Hux’s pained sounds get louder. _Oops… That’s awkward._

The sounds of agony fade after another minute or two passes, and Anika hesitantly steps back into the hold. She can see Hux on the floor in the refresher. He looks like he’s passed out, Darial still holding onto his hand from where she’s sitting in the doorway.

_Well…This is getting off to a bad start._


End file.
